dad.”

I stayed quiet, giving him time to compose himself.

He wiped the tears away. “And then I just got pissed at the world. Peter for not trying to help, my friends for not really understanding. My dad got me involved in some hateful shit, but I didn’t tell anyone because I was sick of everyone telling me what an asshole he was. I learned that the hard way. I didn’t need to be reminded.”

He sat up a little straighter. “My dad used my place to stash and sell guns.”

“Why your place?”

“He lived out in Bonita and he was worried that his neighbors would get suspicious if they saw too many people coming and going,” he answered. “Anyway, after he died, I wanted to get rid of the guns. All these gang- looking guys were hanging around my apartment. It didn’t take much to figure out who they were. I knew Lonnie from the group and he told me what to charge and to give the money to him after they were sold. It wasn’t hard to hook up and before long I was dealing with them. What the fuck else was I going to do with a dresser full of guns?”

I thought of a lot of things but said nothing.

“I figured I’d just get rid of them and be done with it,” he said. “But Moreno and those guys bought a lot. When I turned the money over to Lonnie the first time I sold, he freaked because it was so much. So instead of only selling what I had, Lonnie kept giving me more. I didn’t know how to say no. That guy scared the shit out of me.”

I knew the feeling.

Linc shuffled his feet on the floor and the soles squeaked on the wood.

“Then I got sort of comfortable with it,” he said, shaking his head. “I was friendly with the gang guys. Lonnie acted like I was his best friend. It was easy. Easier than telling the truth, anyway.”

Linc had jumped into something that had overwhelmed him. He’d forced himself into believing that going along was better than getting out. It may have been easier, but it wasn’t better.

“But then it changed,” Linc said, his eyes moving away from me. “It all completely changed and I had to get out of it.”

“What happened?”

He sat still, his eyes focused on the window. “I knew it was wrong, you know? I really did. I knew I was being a coward, and for a while I thought I could live with that. But then…I realized I couldn’t.”

“How were you planning on getting out of this, Linc?” I asked.

“I was just gonna go down to Mexico or to Arizona and lay low for a while,” he said. “I figured I’d sort it out when I got out of San Diego.”

“So what changed?” I repeated. “It just hit you that it was wrong?”

His gaze on the window was so intent I wasn’t sure if he’d heard me.

“Linc?” I said.

“She changed it,” he finally answered, his voice catching.

On my initial visit to his apartment, the girls had explained Rachel’s relationship with Linc. He wrote her papers and she slept with him in return. Maybe it had turned into more than that for Linc.

“How did Rachel change things?” I asked.

He moved his eyes back to me, confusion on his face. “Rachel?”

“You said, ‘She changed it.’ How did Rachel change things?”

He shook his head. “Rachel didn’t change anything.”

Now I was the confused one. “Then who are we talking about?”

Linc Pluto turned back to the window and the tears reappeared in his eyes. “Malia. Malia changed everything.”

Thirty-nine

Malia’s name exploded inside of my head.

“Malia Moreno?” I asked, making sure I’d heard him correctly.

“Deacon Moreno’s sister,” Linc said. “Yeah.”

I couldn’t come up with another name that would’ve surprised me more.

“How did you know her?” I asked, trying to gather my thoughts.

“I went to make a drop to Deacon at their house a couple of months ago,” he said. “She answered the door, Deacon wasn’t there, and we started talking. She was going to State, too. It just sort of fell into place.”

A gigantic knot formed in my stomach. I’d already dropped the news about his brother on him. Now I was going to have to do the same about Malia.

“You were dating her?” I said.

His eyes iced over. “We weren’t just dating. I was in love with her.”

The way he said it made me feel dumb for suggesting any less. “Did Deacon know?”

“We thought we were being careful.” His eyes softened as he chewed on his lip for a moment. “But then Malia was pretty sure Deacon had heard her talking on the phone with me. He started asking who her new boyfriend was. She didn’t tell him, but I immediately started getting calls from Deacon and Wesley that didn’t feel right. They wanted to meet me at different places than normal. I got freaked and that’s when I went into hiding.” He rubbed his chin. “And then when Rachel was shot, I knew he knew. It was a message to me.”

“Have you been here the whole time?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yeah. A guy I know, he’s doing a semester abroad. But he kept the lease on the house because he didn’t want to lose it. I knew it was empty and I didn’t figure anyone else knew about it.”

“You said Rachel getting shot was a message to you. How do you know that?”

He sighed and sank back into the couch. “Dana told you about me and Rachel?”

“Yeah.”

“It was before I met Malia. I swear to God.”

“Okay.”

“When I started selling the guns, Deacon and his guys didn’t know me. So I had to act friendly with them. Hang out, talk shit, and all that, so that they’d trust me.” He shook his head. “Rachel walked out of her apartment one day when we were hanging out in the parking lot and they all went crazy, talking about how hot she was and everything.”

It was starting to come together.

“And you told them about having sex with her?” I said.

“It validated me with them,” he said, his voice straining. “It was dumb and stupid, but it worked.” He paused and I thought he was going to cry again. “And even after Rachel and I were done, I kept telling them that we weren’t.”

“So Deacon didn’t like the idea of you and Malia being together and he may have thought you were cheating on her?”

He blinked rapidly, tears clouding his eyes, and he nodded.

It seemed like every time Linc had tried to do something right, he’d made things worse.

He used the heels of his hands to dry his eyes and said, “I was there that day you came to her house.”

“What?”

“I was the one behind the door,” he explained. “She told you she was studying with a friend. It was me.”

My gut had tried to tell me that day something wasn’t totally right. His explanation confirmed it.

He started to say something, but it caught in his throat. He swallowed hard, tried to compose himself. “And I was there yesterday, too.”

Linc was full of surprises.

I shifted uncomfortably in the chair, remembering the scene. “You were?”

“They made Malia call me and tell me where to meet them.” He swallowed hard. “I’d been out there a couple of times before when I was with my dad.”

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