“He truly wanted to know where you were, to see what his son looked like. That’s why I gave in and told him.” She shifted on the old sofa cushions. “And I think he has always cared for me. He just couldn’t do it the way I needed him to.”
FORTY-ONE
We sat quiet for a few minutes, listening to the water tap against the roof and windows.
“I need to tell you something else, then,” I finally said.
“You certainly know how to light up a room,” she said, raising an eyebrow and smiling.
I appreciated her attempt at humor. The more time I spent with her when she was sober, the more I started to forget about our past and focus on how much I enjoyed being around her.
“I’m like a beacon of sunshine,” I said.
She laughed quietly. “Always.” She held up a hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to interrupt. Something else, you said.” “I seem to have stirred Keene back to life,” I said. “Which means what?”
“Which means I think we need to be careful.”
The humor was gone from her expression now. “Why?”
“Because he told me that. Personally.”
“You’ve spoken to this man?”
I recounted what Simington told me and my encounter with Keene at the airport.
“I don’t think he’s kidding,” I said. “He doesn’t seem like the type. He killed the lawyer. There’s no reason to think he won’t kill again if he feels it’s necessary. He was at the airport to show me how close he can get to me.”
She wrapped her arms around herself like she was cold. “A beacon of sunshine.”
“I’m sorry,” I told her. “But I felt like I needed to tell you.”
She nodded. “No, no. It’s not your fault. I was teasing you, and it was inappropriate.” She put her hands on her knees. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m not sure yet. I need to think some things over.”
Her eyes zeroed in on me. “Don’t let him go because of me, Noah. I’ll be alright.”
I didn’t respond.
“If he killed that lawyer and he’s partly responsible for Russell’s situation, you should do what you can to make him pay,” she said. “Do not back away from this because of me. If you have other reasons, that’s fine. But don’t do it on my behalf.” She reached out and touched my arm. “I can take care of myself.”
I wasn’t sure that she could, but I appreciated what she was saying. Something else was nagging at me, though.
“Would he lie to me?” I asked. “Simington?”
A rumble of thunder echoed outside, the rain still slapping against the windows.
“Probably,” Carolina said. “I’d like to think that, with where he is now, with not much time left, he wouldn’t. At least to you. But that might be wishing for too much.”
That was what had been running through my thoughts since leaving the prison. What if he was trying to manipulate me? To get me to do something he wanted done? What if the facts weren’t as he presented them? What if he knew by pushing me in the right direction, I’d go after Keene? Was there something in it for him?
“I just can’t help but think he’s doing this for some other reason,” I said.
“Doing what?”
“Talking to me. Telling me these things about what happened and about Keene. Is there something in it for him?” I looked at her. “Why does he give me Keene’s name to begin with if he knows that Keene is a threat?”
She squeezed my arm. “I don’t know. With Russell, I could never tell.”
“I mean, he gives me Keene’s name. He knows I’ll look him up. Why give it to me at all and then tell me to stay away from him after I found him?”
“It may be just like he said. Maybe he was hoping that this man would be dead and gone. Maybe he wanted to know that, to give him some peace before his own death. I’m not saying he’s incapable of telling the truth, Noah. What he’s told you may be exactly as it is.”
I knew she was right. I would have to make my own decision based on what I wanted to do. No one else was going to give me a reason. I needed to own the decision. That didn’t make it any easier, though.
“Noah?” Carolina said.
“Yeah?”
Her fingers pressed into my skin. “It’s okay to be upset about this.”
“I know,” I said.
“Do you? It doesn’t seem like it.”
I turned away, watching the rain slide down the glass. Again, Carolina had surprised me with her ability to read me.
