Make Me, Sir

She was just another trainee. One he’d felt he had to protect. He could have died.

More minutes ticked by.

Marcus groaned.

Gabi jerked upright and moaned as pain battered her nerves. She leaned forward, her hand clamping around his.

His eyelids fluttered. He looked at her, his gaze unfocused. But awake. Alive.

Thank you, God. Oh thank you.

She managed to stand. Bracing herself on the side rail, she touched his face. Warm. She ran her finger over the scratchy beard stubble, slightly darker than his hair, and traced a darkening bruise on his forehead. Beat-up…but alive.

His eyes cleared, and he frowned at the room, the IV stand, and the monitors.

“You’re in the hospital,” she told him, her guilt so heavy she had trouble speaking. “You got shot-because of me. But you’re going to be fine.”

When she released his fingers, his hand turned over to capture hers. He tried to speak, then cleared his throat. His voice rasped, the smoothness gone. “Are you all right?”

She choked. “Oh yeah. You’re the one who got shot.” Her throat constricted until her voice sounded as rough as his. “It should have been me. I’m sorry, so sorry.”

He tried to say something, but she couldn’t take more. She brushed a kiss to his cheek. “Good-bye, Marcus,” she whispered.

She limped out of the room as fast as she could. With relief, she spotted his grandparents coming down the hall. He wouldn’t be alone. Averting her gaze, she made for the elevators. A wave of dizziness crashed over her, and blackness edged the corners of her vision. No. Passing out not allowed, Gabi.

Everything was finished now. The case. Her stay in Tampa. Her time with Marcus.

She wanted to go home.

Chapter Twenty-two

The sound of songbirds in the garden drifted in through the open window of Zachary’s bedroom, and he smiled at the peaceful melodies.

Snuggled in the bedding, Jessica breathed slowly, still deep in sleep. One half-curled hand nestled under a round cheek. Her long golden hair spilled over the pillow, the light strands glowing against the dark fabric.

Just as she glowed like a beacon in his dark life. He pulled his chair closer and wrapped his hand around her delicate fingers. Did she have any clue how much she meant to him? He worked with children, sad, broken, abused children who’d seen more horror in their short lives than most adults. Sometimes to heal, they needed to know someone-anyone-understood their sorrow and rage and confusion. He’d listen. He’d take in their pain and release them of some of the burden.

But pain accumulated, and even the love of friends and family hadn’t been able to lift his increasing sadness. Then Jessica erupted like a small hurricane into his life. Her keen intelligence and logical mind was balanced by her spirit, her courage-and her love. She reminded him that the world held as much good as it did evil.

God, he’d almost lost her today. His shoulders tightened. Leaning forward, he pushed her hair away from her face. Silky hair-soft, soft cheek.

When she blinked, he cursed himself for his lack of discipline. She needed the sleep.

Her hands fisted, and she stiffened. He felt her fear, saw it overwhelm her.

“Jessica,” he said in a level, clear voice.

Her eyes focused on his face, and he saw-felt-relief flood through her. “You’re safe, kitten,” he said, affirming it verbally.

She pulled in a breath, looked at the room, the bed, the window. When her eyes met his again, her smile blossomed. “You saved me.”

“I think you might have managed to save yourself.”

She considered it, his logical sub, and shook her head. “No. If you hadn’t come, he’d have won eventually. I was cuffed. Even if I’d gotten out of the van, I couldn’t run. Not after hurting my ankle.” She pouted. “I’d like to think I sprained it when I kicked his face, but I think the steering wheel did it.”

“Bloodthirsty little sub,” Zachary murmured.

“Oh sure. I saw Jang after you got through. I didn’t do nearly as much damage.”

Zachary’s hands closed as if he had the man’s neck in his grasp. He should have bloodied him a little more.

She smiled at him, her green eyes glinting with laughter. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to be a hero. Saving the subs like a proper dom.”

Saving. He frowned. “You shouldn’t have needed saving or been anywhere near those men. Jessica, why did you leave last night without speaking to me?”

He caught a flash of oh shit before she stalled. “Well.” Obviously needing to be on a more equal level, she pushed up in the bed and winced.

Dammit. He couldn’t stand seeing her in pain. Grasping her under the arms, he gently pulled her up in the bed and tucked pillows behind her back. Her face had paled. Nonetheless, he couldn’t put off this talk any longer. They’d had enough silence between them. His jaw clenched. If she wanted to leave, he needed to know. “Now tell me. Why?”

She looked down and fingered the abrasions from the damned metal handcuffs the kidnapper had used. “Things had… You haven’t been the same. For a while. You’ve acted so…distant. And mad at me. Every time I sassed you or anyone at the club, you’d gag me as if you didn’t want to hear me. I knew you were unhappy. I thought it was because of me.”

“But-”

“No, Zachary, let me finish.”

Zachary. He rarely heard her use his real name. Usually only in bed or when she was moved, as if it had special meaning to her. He took her hand. Everything in him wanted to object that she’d not understood, to coax her to let him fix it and make it right, to help her understand their relationship wasn’t broken completely. Instead he tilted his head and kept silent.

“I saw you with Gabi. I could tell you had a secret, the two of you. And you treated her…differently…than the other subs. Almost like you treat me.”

He frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“The amount of caring you show me…her…is exponentially higher,” said his little mathematician. “More protective.”

“But-”

She stared at her hands again. “And then I met your sons.” She bit her lip. “Eric doesn’t approve of me. He obviously thinks you should find someone more-more like you. I’m just an accountant, from a middle-class family. I’m not rich or sophisticated or beautiful, and I’ve seen pictures of your ex. She is. If Eric can’t get you back with his mother, he wants you to have someone classier…and older.”

He nodded. Eric saw first with his eyes, not his heart.

“So. I felt like you’d pulled away, not wanting me around-you even told me not to come to the club-and I was jealous. And insecure. I thought maybe you had second thoughts about being with me.”

Past tense. She’d used the past tense. “You know differently now, don’t you?”

“Some. I understand about Gabi being a decoy, and you wanted to keep me from getting targeted. But that still doesn’t… Nolan and Beth are engaged. Dan and Kari are married and having a baby. And they all met after we did.”

He rubbed his face. The best-meant ideas didn’t always work out in the way a person expected. “Jessica, as my boy so kindly pointed out, I’m older than you are. I have grown children. You’re just starting your life, kitten, and I don’t want to push you into something you might regret. Especially since a person first entering the lifestyle can