firelight would light her face. He studied the tight muscles around her eyes, the lips compressed to hide the trembling. “Who left you?”
She tried to turn away, and he gripped her shoulder, keeping her in place. A tremor shook her. Damn. Sometimes sex, especially with an overwhelming orgasm, could expose a woman’s emotions as thoroughly as he had exposed her body. Apparently he’d triggered a land mine, all unknowing. Now he needed to dig it up and identify the problem-without blowing them both to pieces. “Look at me.”
The vulnerability in her liquid dark eyes made him want to simply hold her and comfort her and tell her it would be all right. In fact, he wanted more than that. He wanted to uncover those walls hiding her inner self, to be more than a top in BDSM play for one night-he wanted to be her dom.
He couldn’t.
But something had caused her reaction, and he needed to find out what.
“Now answer me. Who left you, Kallie?” He tried to recall what he’d heard of her past. Lived with her cousins, involved in the guide business her uncle had started. No parents? “Where’s your father?”
She shook her head. “I… He stayed long enough to name me and then returned to India.”
“Ah.” Didn’t sound like an emotional tie, not enough for tears from this tough little sub. “How about your mother?” She tried to get up, and he simply set his arm over her legs. “You’re not going anywhere, sprite, and neither am I. Your mom; tell me.”
“She died. A long time ago, when I was eight.” She frowned at him. “I’m sorry I wussed out on you. It won’t happen again.”
She jerked as if he’d slapped her instead of asking a question, then answered in an unemotional voice, “My stepfather, but he didn’t want me. I lived with different relatives.” She stared across the clearing, not meeting his eyes.
“But you ended up with Harvey?” Jake remembered the old guy. Tough as granite up to when he had died of a heart attack last year.
A sweet smile appeared. “I was fourteen.
He frowned. This was nastier than could be dealt with in a night, but he could reduce one minor worry. “Kallie.”
Her eyes met his.
“I never, ever leave a sub who is restrained. I was just on the other side of the fire. In fact, if you hadn’t been blindfolded, I’d have realized you were crying sooner.” And damn him for not checking more closely. “I’m sorry you were frightened.”
She shrugged, although her lips still quivered slightly. “I’m sorry for being such a wimp. I don’t know why…”
Why it hit her so hard. But restraints, pain, even orgasms could dissolve layers of defenses, leaving a sub vulnerable. Old emotions could surface without warning. He’d work on this insecurity of hers more in the future-no, he wouldn’t. No ties. What the hell was he thinking? In fact, what was he thinking when he’d blindfolded her, doing something that increased dependence and deepened trust-he never used blindfolds with play subs. He scowled and saw her worry double.
Damn, he sucked as a dom tonight. “Sugar, you haven’t done anything wrong. I’m angry with myself, not you.”
Her gorgeous, big eyes searched his face, and her muscles slowly relaxed. Good.
“But, Ms. Show No Fear, you need to tell your dom if you’re nervous. Not being omnipotent, we don’t always catch the signs.” He rubbed his knuckles over her cheek, feeling the slight dampness remaining. And damn him for missing the clues. “A dom might still go ahead, but he’ll watch more closely if he knows something worries you.”
Her brows had drawn together, but she nodded.
“And you have that safe word for a reason, sprite. It’s not just for physical overload, but for an emotional one as well.” He paused again. If she went further into the lifestyle-and the thought of someone else topping her bothered the hell out of him-she needed to be able to communicate. “I don’t want you to forget that again.”
“Yes, Sir.” Her tense little body had relaxed into the snuggly one he had trouble resisting, so he sealed the discussion with a long, gentle kiss.
When he’d taken his fill and her arms had crept around his neck, he pulled back and glanced around. The others had left to get dressed and returned to talk quietly by the fire. “Heather, could you bring me a cup of hot chocolate?”
“Sure, Jake.”
A minute later, she handed him a cup, and he sipped. Just right. “Here you go, pet.”
Kallie squirmed to an upright position on his lap and took the cup with steady hands. She took a drink, smiled, and had some more, then tried to hand it to Jake.
“No, I don’t want any more tonight. Rebecca insists chocolate is a remedy for all woes, but for me it’s just a nice campfire drink.”
Her husky chuckle lightened his evening. Then she tilted her head. “But you drank some…”
“Just testing to make sure it wasn’t too hot for you.”
The look she gave him held outright disbelief.
He laughed, then sobered. The sprite suffered from a serious lack of pampering, dammit. And damn him for wanting to fix that.
Early Friday evening, Kallie hopped out of her Jeep and trotted into Serenity Lodge. Although the air outside was hot and dry, her hands were cold. Her skin felt itchily sensitive. A little voice inside her chanted
She wandered across the empty main room and spotted Rebecca setting the table in the dining room. It was almost a relief not to see Jake. Almost.
Rebecca smiled. “Kallie. Are you guiding someone today?”
“Nope. I think Heather left this in the gear.” She held up the flat electronic reading device. “Is she here?”
“They decided to run into Yosemite Park for the day.” Rebecca waved off Kallie’s attempt to hand it to her. “Nah. I don’t have time to deal with it right now. Jake’s in the rec room. Give it to him.”
Kallie opened her mouth to reply and noted the smug expression on Rebecca’s face. Nothing like being set up. “Now that’s just mean.”
“I know.” Rebecca pointed to a door at the far end of the main room. “Put on your big-girl panties and go on in.”
