Master of the Abyss

desserts for the table. She glanced around for Jake, trying not to appear too obvious. His low laugh drifted up from the grassy area, and she spotted him, surrounded by children, collecting the water pistols to store away. His wet shirt clung to his broad shoulders, outlining his contoured muscles as he ruffled Tyson’s hair. The little boy grinned up at him, leaning against him as they unloaded guns together.

She set down Mrs. McCaffrey’s three-layer chocolate cake, deliberately getting her finger in the chocolate-fudge frosting. As she sucked it off, she glanced at Morgan. “Need any help?”

He slammed the barbecue shut and scowled.

“What?”

“What do you think you’re doing with Hunt?”

“Just what I want to know,” Wyatt said from behind her.

She turned, keeping them both in her gaze. This two-against-one business annoyed the hell out of her. “Nothing much.”

“Looked like much to me,” Wyatt said. “He had his hands on you.”

Had everyone at the party noticed? “It’s… We’re…”

Wyatt shoved a hand through his hair. “Cuz, I don’t think you realize…Jake’s, well, he’s got a reputation.”

“I know, Wyatt.”

“You can’t possibly have any idea,” Morgan broke in.

“But it’s more than…that,” Wyatt said with a warning look at his brother. “He’s messed around with every woman in town. Dates and dumps.”

“I can handle myself.” This was why she never brought a date home.

“Uh-uh. You don’t have the experience to deal with someone like him. Or the stuff he-” Wyatt flushed. “You’re not…experienced, and he…is. He’s just the wrong kind of man for you. You’re a good girl.”

Oh, honestly. She rolled her eyes. “I’m not a girl anymore, you know, and I have dated men in the past.”

“Not like him. Hell, we should never have let you go to the lodge, no matter how tough you are.” Wyatt glanced toward the yard with a disgusted look. His face softened when he turned back to her. “He’ll break your heart, Kallie, and I won’t put up with that. If he keeps bothering you, we’ll teach him to keep his distance, and if it costs us the lodge’s business, so be it.”

“What? You can’t do that.” Throw away clients because of her?

“He’s playing you, Kallie.” Morgan gripped her shoulder.

Wyatt shook his head. “I know you’re having fun, but he’ll hurt you. He’s already messed with your head. Look at your clothes.” He motioned at her shirt, and the disapproval in his eyes shook her. “You’ve never dressed like this before. I think you should stay away from him.”

Morgan nodded.

“We’re really worried here, cuz.” Wyatt pulled on her hair lightly. “Don’t do this to us, okay? We just want you to be safe.”

A hand seemed to have gripped her around the chest, constricting until she hurt with every breath. “I’ll think about it.”

Even though Morgan smiled at her, she could see the concern in his face. “I know you’d never let us down. You’re a good girl.”

As the two walked away, she whispered, “I’m not a girl.”

Maybe she should move out. Find a house for herself. She looked around at the deck and yard filled with people, at the pastures with horses-her horses-and the mountains circling the green valley. Her sanctuary was up that trail. How could a quiet apartment of her own compete with grumbling men in the morning, fights in the hay barn, and the joy of cold beer in the evening as they compared trail stories and cop complaints?

I don’t want to leave. But she didn’t want to disappoint them either. And if she made them unhappy enough, they’d push her away completely.

But Jake. Thinking of him made her long to fling herself in his arms-however, he considered her just a short-term lover. Sure, he’d kissed her today, but she knew men, and he’d simply reacted to the red-shirted guy coming on to her. Could seeing Jake only another time or two make up for losing her family?

Her stomach coiled into knots, and she swallowed, tasting bile. Arms hugging her waist, she inhaled slowly, then again, forcing herself to be calm-to enter the quiet, white space for keeping silent when she needed to scream or fight or cry-when what she wanted had to take second place to not causing trouble and being a burden. Her stomach gradually settled.

The children milled in the yard, happily shouting “hurry ups” to Wyatt. They knew what to expect next.

Usually she helped. Today she perched on the far railing as Wyatt pulled open the big box. He looked around for her, realized she didn’t plan to join him, and just looked unhappy. Unhappy, not his usual of blustering and raging. Pain lanced through her; she’d hurt him.

He turned back to the children and yelled, “Red.” Several hands went up.

“What’s he giving them?” Logan asked. He leaned a hip on the table, motioning with his beer to the excited boys and girls. “Looks like a pack of sharks in a feeding frenzy.”

Grateful for the diversion, she said, “Those are glow sticks. Since fireworks are prohibited and dangerous in a dry forest, we light up the night in other ways.”

Just then the children started bending the sticks, letting the chemicals mix inside, and a myriad of colors went streaming through the darkness as they broke into little groups, dancing and waving the fluorescent sticks in the air.

“That is brilliant. Look at them move.” He shook his head in disbelief. “You go all out, don’t you?”

“We’re too far out of town to bother decorating the yard for Halloween or Christmas, so we splurge on this party. We’ve had quite a few years to accumulate everything.” He seemed so much like Jake. A little rougher, perhaps, but friendly in a quieter way. She’d noticed he had fewer lines of care worn into his face, and she had to wonder why. Setting the question aside, she smiled at Logan. “Did I mention we’re glad you came?”

His grin flashed. “I’m beginning to regret that we missed so many years. My Rebecca”-the way his voice softened squeezed Kallie’s heart-“is showing us how isolated we’ve become. There’re always people at the lodge, but that’s not the same as belonging to a community. We’ll work on changing that.”

As they watched the children play, she thought how much he seemed like Virgil too. A comfortable companion if you didn’t mind silence.

“What’s doing?” Jake sauntered across the deck with his easygoing walk, and somehow his sociable nature barely hid the dominance shimmering right underneath the surface. Logan took after a wolf-she tilted her head-and Jake was like Gary’s Great Pyrenees, greeting visitors with a waving tail, but bother the lambs and the giant dog would rip your throat out.

Her smile disappeared when Jake put his arm around her.

Acutely conscious of her cousins nearby, she sidled away. Jake dropped his arm, and narrowed his eyes.

She swallowed, glanced at Logan, and received the same focused look. It felt like being stripped bare. “I-”

“Shove off, bro,” Jake said, never taking his gaze from her.

As Logan silently walked away, Jake set his foot on the table seat and leaned his forearms on his thigh. “What’s wrong, sprite?”

When she averted her eyes, she spotted Morgan and Wyatt staring at her from across the deck. She winced.

Jake turned, following her gaze. “Ah,” he said in a hard voice, straightening. Just