To Command And Collar

anything. I’m not sure she even had limits, but Raoul-well, you know him- he’s got a line he doesn’t cross. He’d deal out bruises and welts and stuff, but not permanent damage. They were definitely mismatched.”

Alicia’s injuries hadn’t come from Raoul? Kim frowned.

“God, this is good gossip,” Jessica said. “I mean, it’s horrible of us to share, but…” She wiggled. “Go on.”

“So there I was, carrying over their drinks with Raoul talking about it. Just totally wrecked.”

“God, that must have hurt him bad.” Kim felt the ache deep in her bones. Master R was so careful of everyone and so insistent on honesty. To have his wife cheat on him-and in his home. “But didn’t he have a clue? He always knows if I’m lying.”

Jessica wrapped an arm around Kim and squeezed gently. “Even the Shadowlands Masters are only human- although it’s not easy to remember sometimes. When they’re in dom mode, they’re really, really perceptive, but they can’t stay that way all the time.”

“You could see their marriage had problems. Raoul, he’s so honorable, he wouldn’t give up, but Alicia-” Sally shrugged. “She was nice enough, and everybody liked her, and she had this great sarcastic sense of humor, but she was…hmm…maybe not all that honest.”

Adultery wasn’t exactly honest, no. But why had Alicia gone to Master R’s family with that bullshit story? It wasn’t like he’d been the one screwing around on her. “So she divorced Master R, and they went their separate ways? I heard…” How could she put this? “I heard she said some stuff about him.”

Sally popped an egg roll in her mouth, holding up her hand for them to wait. “Okay, this is the second part of the story. I got it from Vanessa, who got it from Alicia since they were BFFs back then. And it’s not a big secret. See, Alicia demanded a prenup ’cause Master Raoul had just started his company not long before, and she was making the big bucks. She didn’t want to share, you know?”

The woman sounded like a cast-iron bitch, Kim decided.

“What a loser,” Gabi muttered.

Sally continued, “But then Raoul’s company takes off, and he’s mad at her cheating, and he sticks to the prenup-yours is yours and mine is mine. Even worse, he filed for divorce the day after he found them. So she goes ballistic, saying he’d screwed her over.”

“Only she was the one doing the screwing.” Gabi shook her head. “Poor Raoul.”

“Yeah. She came here after she’d gotten the papers and was screaming her head off in the dressing rooms. She stripped to show off all the damage-and the bro-in-law had really messed her up. But she was saying Raoul did it.”

“Oh my God,” Gabi said. “I bet people believed her too.”

“Not for long.” Sally grinned. “This was before Raoul was a master, so Z hadn’t a clue about what had really happened, but you know how Z is. Superpsychologist-plus and a layer of dom on top?”

Jessica snickered. “That’s him, all right.”

“Anyway, he, like, stalks into the women’s room-and really flusters some naked women too-and Alicia has her back to him. He listens to the bullshit.”

Kim realized she was holding her breath. “Were you there?”

“Yeah, all us trainees were getting dressed.” Sally gave a mock shiver. “Z was-God, he listened, and his face got that really pissed-off, cold expression of his, the one that can shrivel everything up inside you? And he says right to her face that she’s lying.”

“Oooh,” Jessica said. “Z never makes a mistake about liars.”

“What happened?” Gabi grabbed Kim’s hand.

“She didn’t even try to deny it. Not to Master Z.” Sally waggled her water bottle. “He told her she had one minute to put her clothes on. Then he booted her out and canceled her membership.”

That explained why Master R’s ex had been out for revenge. But what about the other part? That he hadn’t let her leave. “And was she his s-slave?”

Gabi said, “Kim-”

“I need to know.”

Jessica frowned. “He and Z and I were talking one night. Z’d swatted my butt for being impertinent, and he told Raoul about how we’d started off keeping the D/s stuff to scenes and bedrooms, but how it had edged out into our lifestyle.” She shrugged. “It really has. Knowing Z might pick up the reins at any minute means it’s always simmering under the surface-and I love it.”

Sally gave an audible sigh.

Jessica grinned at her. “Anyway, Raoul said his went the other way. He and Alicia started off in a Master/slave relationship, but it had died away.” She bit her lip. “He looked, I don’t know, empty.”

Kim could feel the ache in her chest. “So-why start and then stop?”

Sally shook her head and said slowly, “I think new love makes you crazy, and if you’re new to BDSM, maybe it’s difficult to tell what’s what. But if you don’t have that need to serve or submit, then a power exchange won’t work very long. On the other end, there’s solid M/s and D/s relationships where the people aren’t in love, but they’re both fulfilled.”

“That’s pretty convoluted, but I almost understand what you’re saying,” Gabi said.

Sally grinned. “Anyway, Alicia wasn’t into service or even submission. Straight-shot masochist. And it was obvious. But it was hard on Master Raoul. He’s dominant right down to his bones.”

Could I keep Master R happy? Kim frowned. Do I want to serve him just because I love him? Oh, wonderful. More questions. But for right now… “What time is it?”

“A little after nine. Why?” Jessica asked.

“I have a visit to make.” She rummaged in her purse and pulled out the note she’d made earlier. It was downright scary how easy it was to use the Internet to get a person’s address.

She started to ask Gabi to lend her the car, then rethought. Panicking on someone’s doorstep wouldn’t be smart-she should have brought her escort dog. “Gabi, can you come with me?”

Chapter Nineteen

Her plane would be leaving right about now. Raoul frowned at the design for a cable bridge on his computer and shut the program down. If he continued in this half-assed fashion, he’d end up redoing all the work. He leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling.

Time to get your life in order, Sandoval. Truly, he should be grateful for yesterday, for seeing how she reacted to him. His last doubt had been resolved, and he no longer had to argue with himself whether he wanted her to return. He rubbed his cheek, scowling at the scratchiness. Forgot to shave again. He needed to clean up before the party.

If she showed up and dropped to her knees and begged him to make her his slave, he wouldn’t agree. He closed his eyes and hauled in a painful breath. No. Over the past weeks, he’d realized he couldn’t take that step. Not now. Especially not with a woman who’d steal his heart, his life, and then decide she’d made a mistake.

He glanced around the house he’d built in an attempt to eradicate his wife from his memories.

Now Kimberly’s presence infused it instead. So many memories just from the few weeks they’d been together, and even though he’d known she’d leave.

How much worse would it be if they tried to build a future together? And then she’d tell him she didn’t want a master, didn’t want to serve him-or love him either. Would he have to build a new house again?

He tried to laugh, but it sounded more like a response to a gut shot. His love for Alicia bore no resemblance to the overwhelming way he felt about Kimberly. She was warmth and laughter and hopes he should never have harbored.

If he really thought she’d stay with him, accept him, that might be different. If he’d met her before her slavery, maybe…maybe he would have risked trying to teach her about her own needs.

She was brave, so very resilient, but that would ask too much.

He’d tried living a vanilla life. He couldn’t do it again. He’d unconsciously take the control from a little sub, and she would resent it. And leave him.