'Do you fear to love me, Rhonwyn?' he asked her.
'Aye, I do!' she admitted fiercely. 'I don't want to lose myself, Edward. Can you understand that?'
'I love you, yet am I any less the man I was when you met me?' he demanded of her.
'You seem kinder,' she whispered. His hand was caressing her quivering belly.
'You make me want to be kinder, Rhonwyn, but that does not mean I have lost control over myself, nor will you if you love me. ap Gruffydd's passion for Vala was a unique occurrence, an obsession they both felt in the powerful attraction they had for one another. Most marriage unions are not like that, my lambkin.'
'What are they like?' she said low. His fingers were tangling themselves in her thick silvery bush. She was fearful, yet found it very exciting, and did not stop him.
'My parents despised one another. They were wed because their lands adjoined each other and my mother was an only child. My father's brother, however, fell in love with his own wife. They were happy together, and they respected one another. They were faithful till death, unlike my parents. My father kept a series of lemans. My mother grew more bitter over it as each day passed, but she would not let him in her bed after she had given him his heir. He died in the bed of one of his other women, and my mother would not wash his body for burial. My aunt came and did it. She was a gentle woman with a forgiving heart. My mother finally died several years ago, of her own bile, I am certain. Only the poor may have the luxury of marrying for love, Rhonwyn, but often those of our class grow to love our mates. I have fallen in love with you, and I feel a fury within me when other men admire you; especially because I know that I cannot have you any more than they can.'
'It cannot go on between us like this,' he said.
'I know,' she replied.
'Certainly you cannot fear what is familiar to you, wife. From this night on we will share a bed. You know I mean you no harm, but I want you, and by the rood, I shall have you!' His fingers caressed the pink slit that hid all her treasures. He pushed past it and began to tease at the tiny nub of flesh within. Soon she was moist, and he slid a finger deep inside her.
Rhonwyn gasped softly at this unexpected onslaught, but she managed not to cry out. It wasn't really that awful. The digit within her moved slowly. Edward leaned over and began kissing her again, but then without warning his finger was withdrawn and his body was covering hers. Rhonwyn fought with herself not to scream as his weight pressed her down into the feather bed and mattress. His rock-hard manhood slid easily into her this time.
'There, lambkin, is it not better this time?' he murmured into her ear. His breath was hot and moist.
She couldn't speak. She could barely breathe, but she forced herself to embrace him so he should not know her terror, so that he might gain his pleasure from her and leave her be. He moved with increasing rapidity upon her, his manhood driving deep inside her until he collapsed. Finally he rolled away, allowing her to draw a deep breath of relief.
After a time he said sadly, 'You had no joy of it, did you, wife?' Taking her hand up, he kissed the fingers individually. 'I want you to love me, Rhonwyn, and by God there will come a day when you will!'
'I think I may,' she told him, 'and I shall never again deny you your rights, my lord Edward. In time I may come to gain happiness from our bodies joining. I am no longer fearful of your kisses or your touching. The rest will come in time, I know it!' I pray it, she thought silently as he gathered her into his arms and fell asleep. What was it, she wondered, that made her resist so natural a happening? If he had been a cruel man, she might have understood herself better. Still, something niggled at the back of her brain and fretted her over this passion between a man and a woman.
He continued to join her each night, and Rhonwyn grew quite used to having him beside her. She was actually beginning to find his bulk comforting. But for the nights when her woman's show of blood was upon her, he used her body regularly. While her fear of him had subsided, she could not seem to gain the same pleasure from their coupling that he did. It saddened them both, but Rhonwyn learned by caressing and kissing Edward, she offered them both some measure of enjoyment. For now it was all she could do but pray for some change that would one day allow her to delight in their coming together.
Th e winter subsided, and spring came. They had been wed for a year, and in that time had heard nothing from ap Gruffydd. Having received a message from Prince Edward, Edward finally sent for his cousin Rafe de Beaulieu. The crusade was to proceed. At Edward's call both Rafe and his younger sister, Katherine, came to Haven.
Katherine de Beaulieu was much like her brother in features, but in manner she was a quiet and delerential girl. She was eighteen to Rhonwyn's seventeen, and neither married nor betrothed. She did not, according to Rafe, have enough of a dowry.
'Our parents were of modest means. We always thought she would wed Edward,' he said boldly.
'I told you I should give Kate a generous dower,' Edward said through gritted teeth. 'She is worthy of it, and my blood kin besides.'
'I am content to remain at Ardley and care for your house, brother,' Katherine said, openly embarrassed by her sibling's rudeness. Her fair skin was flushed.
'Will you remain at Haven with your brother while he is here, mistress?' Rhonwyn asked. 'Or will you return to your home?' She ignored Rafe.
'My brother feels I should not be left alone at Ardley, cousin Rhonwyn,' the girl said. 'He has a trusted bailiff who will care for the manor in our absence. With your permission, in your absence I shall take your place overseeing this household.'
'You have my permission, cousin,' Rhonwyn replied. 'I should appreciate it if you would have young Glynn of Thorley home on his school holidays should he wish it.'
'So, your wife is thoughtful of your bastard, Ned,' Rafe de Beaulieu said, clapping his cousin on the back heartily. 'Which of your wenches did you get the lad on, you sly dog!'
'Why do you put up with his rudeness?' Rhonwyn grumbled later when they had a moment of privacy.
Edward smiled. 'Rafe is a good man, wife, but he loves his sister dearly and is jealous seeing you in what he believed would be her place. I know his tongue is sharp ofttimes, but his serfs and his few tenants worship him, for his heart is kind. He will not permit children beneath the age of ten to work in his fields more than three hours a day.'
'I do not like him,' Rhonwyn said, 'although I think his sister a sweet girl with no jealousy or ambition in her heart. Rafe is arrogant and, I believe, sees himself in
Edward laughed. 'Nay, he does not, but I will agree his way is sometimes rough. But if you fear such a thing, give me a son, and Rafe will be forced to melt away, Rhonwyn, my wild Welsh wife.'
She blushed, but she also smiled.
It had been decided between them that Rafe and his sister not know Glynn's true identity. Ap Gruffydd's son was far safer that way, and Edward was not really certain how far he might trust his cousin. Rafe was his heir in the event he died without issue, but now that Edward had a wife and it appeared he had fathered a son on a former leman, perhaps his cousin would be less proprietary of Haven. He had been very angry and greatly disappointed when Edward told him of the marriage that was to be arranged between him and the Welsh prince's daughter.
But Rafe de Beaulieu had not bothered to look for a husband for his sister now that there was a chance that Edward and his wife might not even return from the crusade they were embarking upon. Such a venture was a dangerous thing, and many who went never lived to see England again. If Rafe became Lord Thorley of Haven, he could make Kate a far better match than Rafe de Beaulieu of Ardley Manor could. By waiting, he increased both their chances. And what if the Welsh wench perished on crusade, but Ned came home? He could wed Kate to their cousin as his parents had always hoped. And if Ned perished and the lady Rhonwyn returned, he would marry himself to the Welsh girl in a trice and thereby gain Haven by both inheritance and marriage to ap Gruffydd's daughter, whose very presence would keep those marauders from his gates. He could sense that his fortune was already made.
