The Innocent

the hall. Watching him go, Merin ap Owen almost laughed aloud. The lad had shown courage, but his hasty retreat indicated his fear of the situation. Still, he had come to Gwynfr, and he had asked for his mistress’s release.

'What will you do, lord?' Badan asked him, and Merin ap Owen saw the curious faces turned up to him.

'I do not know yet,' he answered.

'But you will seek out the bitch?' Badan persisted.

'Aye, I will,' Merin ap Owen said, 'but the rest I do not know. I will think on it, but be prepared to ride come the morning.' He arose then and left the hall.

***

Elf sat by the fireplace, mending one of his tunics. She looked up, her lovely face serious. 'What has happened? Was not this the day I was to be released, my lord? Yet it is already night, and I am still here at Gwynfr.'

'My courier was murdered, and the gold stolen from him,' he said. 'Now I must decide what is to be done.'

Her face grew paler than it normally was. 'How did this happen, my lord?' Elf laid her sewing aside and arose to face him.

He explained to her exactly what he had determined based on the information Sim had brought, on Arwydd’s testimony, on the evidence of his own eyes and instincts. Then to his surprise Elf burst into tears, sobbing so piteously that his heart almost broke. He wrapped his arms about her in a gesture of comfort. Surprised, she looked up into his face, and Merin ap Owen was lost in the moment. Unable to restrain himself, his mouth took hers in a burning, fierce kiss.

Startled, Elf was not certain at first what to do. She had never been kissed so skillfully by anyone but her beloved Ranulf. Instinctively her lips softened, and she was only brought to her senses by the sudden realization of his hard body against hers, his lustful member throbbing against her belly. Still, for a brief moment she allowed herself to be swept away before marshaling her forces, her two small hands pushing against his broad chest. 'My lord!' She pulled her head back. 'Please, my lord, this is wrong, and you well know it!' She stepped away from him as if to put a safe distance between herself and his fiery heat of passion.

'How long have you known that I wanted you?' he asked her.

'Since Christmas morning when you put the wolf-skin cape about my shoulders,' she answered.

'I love you, Eleanore,' he said softly.

'I know, my lord Merin.' There were tears in her silvery gray eyes.

'But you do not love me.' He sighed sadly. 'You love your Ranulf. Does he love you as I do? Totally, completely, and without reservations? Ah, I never knew that to love brought such pain!'

'Aye, he loves me, and I him,' Elf said honestly. 'And this you did not know. We have a son, my lord Merin. It is not just my land or my husband calling me back, it is my child. If Ranulf paid the ransom and was honest with you, how can you not allow me to return home on the morrow? No matter your reputation, no matter what I have heard said of you, no matter what you have done, I must judge you in light of how you have treated me. You have dealt with me fairly and with honor. That is how I shall always remember Merin ap Owen when I have returned to my husband, to my son, and to Ashlin.'

'I could take you now, here, and show you no mercy!' he cried.

'And having tasted your kiss, my lord, I have no doubt that I should respond to your passion, but come the dawn I should be weighed down with a guilt so heavy it would never leave me,' Elf told him. 'Women are weak, it is said, but they, too, have their honor. If you dishonored me, you should dishonor yourself. I beg you not to do so, my lord Merin. Do not allow your lust to destroy the friendship that has grown between us. I have never known your like, nor will I ever again, I think.' Her eyes met his, pleading, yet proud.

He could force this petite woman, so delicate of bone. She could not prevail against his strength, there was scarce a woman born who could. But he loved her. A man did not despoil and hurt something so fair, so innocent, so sweet. The Merin ap Owen that Isleen de Warenne knew might do such a thing and not have a care; but the Merin ap Owen that he was for Eleanore de Montfort would not act in so dishonorable a fashion. Reaching out, he took her two hands, raised them up, and kissed them.

'It would seem, Eleanore, that my love for you is stronger than my lust. Tomorrow I will set you free to return home to your most fortunate husband. And this promise I give you: The Welsh will not distress Ashlin again in my time.' He released her hands. 'Go to bed now, my love, resting safe in your goodness. Only you know the man I might have been. Tomorrow after you have left me, I will begin a hunt for a vixen. I will run her to ground, I promise you, and I will kill her. She will never trouble you again.'

'Do not kill her on my account, my lord,' Elf begged him.

He smiled. 'Her death will not be on your conscience, my love, but on mine with many others; but your God will surely not punish me for ridding the world of the devil’s own daughter,' Merin ap Owen said. 'For that I must certainly be rewarded.'

Chapter 19

“Give me Arwydd to take back with me,' Elf said to Merin ap Owen the following morning as she prepared to leave his apartments for the last time. 'You know what will happen to her if she is left here at Gwynfr or returned to her uncle’s establishment.'

'You would have her despite what she did?' he asked, surprised.

'She did what she did to survive,' Elf responded. 'She is a good girl at heart. I cannot forget that she protected my son from Isleen by keeping the secret of his existence from her.'

'If she will go with you, you may have her,' he replied. 'I will send her to you. Then come to the hall, so I may turn you over to the faithful Sim of Ashlin. I want him to take you from Gwynfr before your husband arrives to attack me, and lives are needlessly lost. I have no doubt that Ranulf de Glandeville is near. I know I would be if you were my wife.' He smiled a wry smile at her, then made to leave her.

'My lord!' she called after him, and he returned to her side. Elf stood upon her tiptoes, and kissed his scarred cheek. 'I would not embarrass you, or endanger my own reputation by doing this publicly in the hall,' she told him. 'I thank you. I believe there is much good in you, my lord, despite your evil reputation. Seek for that good for the sake of your immortal soul. I will pray for you, Merin ap Owen,' she promised him.

'Then, I shall be as near to being saved from the devil’s hellfire as I have ever been,' he told her softly. Raising her hand to his lips, he caught her gaze a moment. 'We would have been magnificent together, my lady of Ashlin,' he said. Then he was gone.

She felt the heat in her cheeks. She felt the tears slip down her face, and brushed them impatiently away. She did not love him, and yet the knowledge of his love for her was almost too heavy a burden for her to bear. Oh, Ranulf, she thought. I need your strong arms about me reassuring me that all will be well!

'Lady.'

Elf looked up to see Arwydd standing hesitantly in the doorway. She motioned to the girl to come in, then said, 'I believe you are a good girl no matter the bad mistress you served so