stone.
'The king went off alone to think. When he returned, he found the queen on the battlement of their castle. He was worn out with keeping his secret. His face was pale; his lips trembled when he bent to kiss her hand. 'Perhaps, Beloved,' he said, 'we shouldn't have opened the box. Perhaps we should've left well enough alone.''
'The queen kisses the king on his forehead,' Sarah said, lifting herself so she could kiss me on my forehead. 'She says, 'Beloved, it's too late to question things like that. The armies are arrayed for battle.' She waves her arm out over the edge of the battlement, toward the campfires which dot the fields for as far as the eye can see.'
'When was the time to question things?'
'In the beginning, Beloved. Before the box was opened.'
'But we didn't do it then. We didn't know what we know now.'
She craned back her head, trying to see my face in the darkness. 'Would you really give it up? If there was a way you could?'
I was silent for a moment. When I spoke, I didn't answer her question. I simply whispered, 'I should've turned it in right from the start.'
Sarah didn't respond to that, she just snuggled closer. The baby had fallen asleep, a soft warmth against my chest.
'It's too late now, Hank,' Sarah whispered. 'It's too late.'
10
EARLY the next morning, even before the sun appeared, the snow began to melt. It took its leave in the same manner it had arrived -- with a wild, headlong rush, as if the whole storm had been an embarrassing error on nature's part, a regrettable mistake that it wished to erase and forget as rapidly as possible. The temperature jumped into the upper forties, and a heavy mist rose from the ground, hiding the dawn. Groaning and hissing and dripping, the snow dissolved quickly into slush, and the slush even more quickly into water, so that by eight o'clock, when I drove into town, I was hindered not by ice on the roads but by mud.
Carl was in his office, alone, reading the paper.
'You're awful early, Hank,' he said, when he looked up and found me standing in his doorway. 'We aren't going to head off till nine.'
His voice was loud in the empty office, cheery. As usual, he seemed absurdly pleased to see me, as if he were lonely and glad for the company. He poured me a cup of coffee, offered me a donut, and then we both sat down, his big wooden desk filling the space between us.
'I was planning on swinging by the feedstore real quick,' I said, 'but I forgot my key.'
'They let you have a key?' Carl grinned. He had a mustache of powdered sugar on his upper lip.
I nodded. 'My face inspires trust in people.'
He studied my face, taking me more seriously than I'd intended. 'Yes,' he said. 'That's probably true.' He wiped the sugar off his lip, glanced out the window across the street toward Raikley's.
'I'm going to have to wait till Tom gets in,' I said. 'That'll be around nine, so I might hold you guys up for a few minutes.'
He was still looking out at the feedstore, a slight frown on his lips. 'That's all right,' he said. 'We can wait.'
Beyond the window, the street was wet, slushy. A light rain had begun to fall.
'You really think there's a plane out there?' he asked.
I tilted my head, as if debating. 'I doubt it. I think we would've heard a crash if it'd been a plane.'
Carl gave a slow nod. 'I imagine.'
'I'm sort of sorry I even reported it in the first place. I'd hate to waste this guy's time on a false alarm.'
'I don't think he minds. He seems fairly desperate, driving all over the state like this.'
We fell silent for a moment. Then I asked, 'Did he show you a badge or anything?'
'A badge?'
'I always wondered if they look like they do in the movies.'
'And how's that?'
'You know, bright and silver with the big F-B-I stamped across the center.'
'Sure they do.'
'You saw his?'
He had to consider for a second. Then he shook his head. 'No, but I've seen them before.' He winked at me. 'I'm sure he'd show it to you, if you asked him.'
'No,' I said. 'I was just curious. I'd feel silly asking.'
We both returned to our coffee. Carl took another bite from his donut, glancing down at the newspaper, and I stared out the window, watching as a pickup truck moved slowly past, a wet dog huddled up against the back of the cab. Inevitably it made me think of Mary Beth, caused a picture of him -- cold and uncomfortable, tied by a short length of rope to the hawthorn tree in my front yard -- to appear for a moment in my mind.
A strange thing happened then, as soon as this image took shape. Right there, not even trying, just sitting in Carl's office with the cup of coffee in my hands, a half-eaten donut perched on the desk before me, the room stuffy and over-warm, I thought of a plan. I thought of a way to make things right.
I turned from the window, my eyes straying up above Carl's head, toward the gun cabinet on the wall behind him.
'You think you could loan me a gun?' I asked.
He looked up from his paper, blinking. He had powder on his lip again. It made him look childish, unreliable. 'A gun?'
'A pistol.'
'What would you want with a pistol, Hank?' He seemed genuinely surprised.
'I've decided to put Jacob's dog down.'
'You want to shoot him?'
'He hasn't really been able to adapt to Jacob's absence. He's just gotten meaner and meaner, so that now I don't think I can trust him around the baby.' I paused, slipping in a lie. 'He bit Sarah the other day.'
'Bad?'
'Bad enough to give us a good scare. She's making me keep him out in the garage now.'
'Why not just take him to a vet? Pete Miller'll put him down for you.'
I pretended to consider this, but then, sighing, shook my head. 'I have to do it on my own, Carl. The dog was Jacob's best friend. If it has to be done, he would've wanted me to do it myself.'
'You ever shoot a dog before?'
'I've never shot anything before.'
'It's a horrible feeling, Hank. It's one of the worst things in the world. If I were you, I'd take him to Pete.'
'No,' I said. 'I wouldn't feel right doing that.'
Carl frowned.
'It'd only be for a day, Carl. I'll do it this afternoon, and have it back to you by the time you leave tonight.'
'You even know how to use a gun?'
'I'm sure you could show me whatever I need to know.'
'You'll just take him out in a field somewhere and shoot him?'
'I thought I'd do it near our old place. Bury him there, too. I figure that's what Jacob would've wanted.'
He considered for a moment, his face serious, frowning. 'I guess I could loan you one for a day,' he said.
'It'd be a big help, Carl.'
