seemed like too long ago that I’d been happy alone, that I’d preferred it that way, and now I was suddenly following someone to the other side of the country. Someone I’d only known a matter of months. Someone who was just vacationing in my life. Someone who would leave me; who, in her own mind, had probably already left.
“Grace,” I said, “I need to talk to you about California.”
“I know. God, we’re leaving so soon and we haven’t ever really discussed my life out there, have we?”
“No,” I said.
“It’ll be difficult. But I’ll only need a couple of weeks. I promise.”
“I think you should go without me,” I said.
Grace pulled back. “What are you talking about?”
“I think you should go to California without me. You could fly out and get done what you need to get done and I could stay here until you get back. I’d just be in your way out there.”
“In my way? The whole fun was going to be driving out together. I thought you wanted to go with me.”
“I did. I do. It’s just that hunting season is about to start and Haymont needs me at the store. He’d never say so, but I know he does. I can tell.”
The song ended and everyone bowed and curtsied. When the music began again, we continued around the ring.
“I don’t want to go without you, Wade,” Grace said, and laid her head on my shoulder again. As soon as her face touched my shirt, the sudden, overwhelming feeling shot through me that I was making a tremendous mistake. I had a stinging urge to tell her that I loved her, that I
“I guess it would be easier if I went alone. It’d make things simpler to deal with,” she said. And then, as though she
“Yes,” I said, already trying to memorize the sound of her voice, the feeling of her back against my hands.
“I mean, I’ll only stay out there as long as I have to.”
“I know,” I said.
Grace’s eyes searched mine. “Wade. I will. I’ll come back.”
I kissed her. “You’ll come back,” I said.
Later, while Grace danced with Petyr, I walked to the edge of the lawn and tossed the tin ladybug into the woods, where it was quickly swallowed by the ferns.
Grace called three times from California. The first call came just after she’d landed. I got home from work and found the light blinking on the machine. I could hear the slowing whine of the plane’s engines in the background of her message. “Well, the eagle has landed,” she said, “and all she wants to do is take off again and fly straight back there. Ugh, Wade. Get me out of here. I wish you’d come with me. I miss your tummy. I’m going home to take a nap, so don’t bother calling. I’ll try you tonight. Kiss Sonny for me.”
I went to work and tried to keep busy, but I couldn’t keep my mind on anything. Twice I almost gave equipment away for free.
I told myself she wasn’t going to call. I told myself I didn’t want her to.
But that night, when no call came, I couldn’t sleep. I stayed up and watched the fireflies waste themselves against my window.
She didn’t call the next morning either. I assumed she would call sometime that day, but instead of waiting around, I went scavenging with Sonny. I took him with me in a small pouch I’d bought, a pouch I could strap onto my back. We walked for hours, just the two of us. We hiked deep into the woods, deeper than I usually went, and late in the afternoon I found an amazing thing. A baby shoe dipped in copper. But I wasn’t as excited as I knew I should be. I wasn’t excited at all. Instead, the whole idea of being out in the woods, hunting for buried junk, suddenly felt ridiculous. It felt like a waste of time.
When I got home that night there was still no message from Grace. I felt a bubble of anger rise in my stomach.
I called the number she’d left, but all I got was a recording telling me that she was out of range. I called again, but the same thing happened. I called the office number she’d given me.
“Hello, Wade,” said the office woman before I even opened my mouth. Her voice was hoarse and grating. “Grace gave me your number. My phone has it memorized. I’ll tell her you called, okay?”
Again that night I couldn’t sleep. The air crackled with her absence. I tried Grace’s personal phone number again and again, into the early morning hours, but each time I got that same recording. Sometime around noon, I fell asleep by the window. I woke with a throbbing sunburn on half my face. The light on my machine was blinking.
“Wade, I’m so, so sorry I didn’t call earlier,” said Grace. “I know you’ve been trying to reach me. Don’t worry, though, all right? Nobody’s going to kidnap me or steal me away. You don’t have to keep calling. We’ll be all right. I just have a million things to do. Miss you. I’ll try you tomorrow.”
Three days passed with no word from her. I thought about flying out there. I thought about tracking her down.
Finally, the phone rang.
“Hello?” said Grace. I could hear car horns and voices in the background. “Hello, Wade?”
“Grace?” I said.
“Wade, are you there? Hello?”
“Yes! I’m here!” I said, both furious at her and panicked she’d hang up.
“Jesus. Hang on a second.”
A rustling sound came from the other end, then things quieted down.
“Yikes. Sorry about that,” said Grace. “I had to get away from the tables.”
“I miss you,” I said angrily.
“I miss you too. I’m sorry things have been so crazy here. The web is more tangled than I remembered.”
“Grace, I want to come out there.”
“Hon, that’s not a good idea. I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off and I—”
“Please, Grace. Just let me.”
“Wade, I can’t talk about this right now. I’m at a restaurant and the person I’m meeting just walked in.”
“Who are you meeting? What’s going on?”
“Just calm down, Wade, all right? You’re acting silly.”
“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down! I want to come out there.”
“Stop it, okay? Stop! Take some time and cool off. I’ll call you when I get a moment.”
The line went dead.
I tried to call her back but all I got was that recording. I called her office but no one picked up. I called twice more, and on the third try, a recording told me that my phone had been blocked by the number I was trying to reach. My face and hands pulsed with a painful heat.
I looked around my house at all the things I’d collected over the years. The trinkets and baubles and junk. I ran my arm along a shelf, knocking everything to the ground. I tore the shelf off the wall and threw it across the room. I smashed another shelf, and another. Soon the room was littered with broken things. I got in my truck and gunned it into town.
It was dark by the time I arrived at the store. Haymont was just locking up. I pushed past him and made my way to the counter, where the phone was kept. I dialed Grace’s office.
That same woman picked up. “Put me through to Grace,” I said.
“It doesn’t work that way,” she said, and hung up.
I called again and a recording told me that all phones in my area code had been blocked by the number I was trying to reach. I was about to slam the phone to the ground, when I remembered the one other number I had. I dialed.
“Hello?” said Petyr.
