the first day she did things right.
She found his number in her cell-phone address book and hit the Call button. A moment later, his voice was on the other end of the line, sounding clear, as if he’d already been up for a while.
“West,” she said tentatively. “I know it’s early, but I’m calling because I have an ultrasound appointment today, and I thought you might like to join me for it.”
Silence.
“I mean, you know, because you’d get to see the baby on the ultrasound screen.”
“Oh, um…of course,” he finally said, sounding strange. “I’d love to go. What time?”
“It’s at noon in Santa Rosa. Sorry for the short notice.”
“So, an hour to get there…” A pause. “I’ll pick you up at ten-thirty, if that works for you.”
She blinked, stunned. “Uh, sure. That would be great.”
“I’ll see you in two hours then.”
She hung up. In two hours, she’d be driving to the city with West, just like a real couple on their way to see their real baby on an ultrasound screen.
Maybe he’d also want to join her for her Bradley childbirth classes at the community center. Of course he would, and he’d have some definite ideas about what to name the baby-something traditional like Elizabeth or Michael, or maybe even after his own parents…
She had always dreamed of having a normal name that people could spell, instead of the bizarre hippie name her mother had actually chosen. As a girl, she’d dreamed of being a Melissa or a Jennifer. Probably the kind of name West would like.
The two hours zipped by as she got ready, answered a few phone calls and made a list of things she needed to buy. Most important, she needed to find a crib. Her father had sent her a check-his way of apologizing for being at a conference in Europe instead of anywhere accessible for the holidays-and intended to use that money to start outfitting the nursery.
When she finally heard West’s car in the gravel driveway outside, she was seized by a moment of terror. This wasn’t just any trip to the doctor they were embarking on. This was something huge. This was the thing Soleil had been avoiding ever since she’d first learned she was pregnant.
She’d been lying to herself all this time, convinced that somehow the pregnancy, and the baby, belonged to her alone. Now she had to face the truth-West was going to be a big part of her life from here on out, whether she liked it or not.
She heard the vehicle stop out front and a door shut. She barely had time to check herself in the mirror before hurrying out the door. West was a few feet from the SUV.
He smiled and said hello.
“I could drive if you want,” she said.
He patted the hood of the Toyota Highlander. “Great gas mileage. I’ll drive.”
He opened the passenger door for her. She climbed in, then dug a package of saltines out of her purse for emergency motion-sickness use.
“Cracker?” She offered the package to West as he got in the driver’s side.
“No, thanks. You still get morning sickness?”
“No, but I do get carsick sometimes. I probably won’t, but crackers seem to head it off at the pass.”
He drove toward the main road. “So have you seen an ultrasound of the baby before?”
“Once, at twelve weeks. It looked like a tiny alien with a heartbeat.”
“Do they give you a photo or anything to keep?”
“Sure,” she said. “I bet they’ll give a copy to each of us.”
She watched him sideways, a little surprised how quickly he’d gone from shock and awe to asking for baby pictures.
“So…um, do we get to find out the sex of the baby?”
“If we want to.”
“
She popped a cracker into her mouth and chewed furiously as her freak-out quotient shot through the roof of the vehicle.
“I’m not really sure what I want to do. I mean, a surprise is fun, I guess, but part of me is dying to know.”
“Okay, well, it’s up to you. I’ll go with whatever you want.”
Awfully diplomatic of him.
“Have you thought about names at all?” he asked.
Soleil recalled her earlier fear about his naming preferences and popped a second cracker in her mouth. Why hadn’t she thought to bring some seltzer water, too?
“I have a few ideas.”
He glanced over at her. “Care to share them?”
“Maybe later. I’m feeling a little carsick right now.”
“Should I pull over?”
“No, no, that’s okay. The crackers are helping.”
“If it’s a girl, I’ve always liked my mom’s name, Julia.”
Of course he did.
She tried not to visibly wince at how right her fears had been. West was doing exactly what she thought he’d do-barging right in and taking over the whole baby-preparation process as if gearing up for battle. Leaving no detail to chance.
Julia was a lovely name. And a lovely woman. But Soleil wasn’t exactly ready to have this kind of lovey-dovey- couple discussion with a man she didn’t love.
“Not that I’m saying we should use that name. I really haven’t ever thought about what I’d name a kid, frankly.”
“Okay,” she said with another stab of guilt over her lateness in telling him he was about to be a father.
“How about your mom? What’s her name?”
“
Naming a baby girl after Soleil’s mother wouldn’t be so different from naming her after a barracuda.
“Anne,” she finally said. “Her name is Anne.”
“You know, you’ve never told me about your mother, or any of your family.”
Yeah, it hadn’t exactly come up when they were sweating and rolling around in bed together.
Ahead, the road curved through a valley between pale yellow hills that bulged like pregnant bellies against the horizon. The sky had mercifully turned blue again today, a clear crystalline blue that promised warm weather. So much easier to focus on than the circumstances of her life.
“Hello? Don’t want to talk about your family?”
“Not really,” she said, staring at a herd of cattle on a distant hillside.
“I understand. But it might be weird if I don’t know anything about my own kid’s grandparents.”
“Anne Bishop,” Soleil said. “That’s my mom. She’s a poet.”
“Wait, you mean like
“That would be her.”
“Wow. I didn’t realize.”
“When I went to school at Berkeley, there was a whole class devoted to her work.”
“Did you take it?”
“Hell, no.”
“Are you close to her?”
“Close…isn’t exactly what I’d call us. I mean, we tend to butt heads a lot. We’re frighteningly similar people, both way too headstrong and stubborn.”
