to pierce her soul. His body convulsed as he spent himself inside her. Shoulders trembling, he collapsed against her, a bead of sweat trickling down his well-muscled back.
Shay never imagined she would enjoy having a man pant and heave and sweat all over her. After Jesse finished, she’d always wanted him to leave. Immediately, if not sooner. With Luke, she was struck by the urge to stroke his hair and talk drowsy nonsense. She wouldn’t mind if he fell asleep on top of her. She wanted him to stay inside her forever.
Realizing her feelings for him went deeper than she’d thought, she panicked, squirming underneath him, pushing at his shoulders. He lifted himself up at once and withdrew from her carefully. She scrambled away from him, gathering up her discarded clothes and hurrying to the ladies’ room, hoping to wash away her sullied emotions.
She put on her clothes and stood before the mirror in the darkened room, feeling raw and naked and over- exposed. Studying her reflection was a mistake. Her eyes sparkled with intensity and her cheeks were bright with color.
Taking a deep breath, she returned to the office, preparing to hurt him before he could do the same to her.
One glance at his conflicted face calmed her as nothing else could have. She wasn’t going to have to do anything. He was about to ruin it all on his own.
Adding a swagger to her walk, which was difficult on unsteady legs, she tossed her hair over her shoulder and bent to pick up her purse, giving him a sexy show that was part bravado, part facade. On the inside, she was crying.
He ran his fingers through his short hair, and she was struck by the impression that he wanted to apologize for the way he’d taken her. Deep down, he was a gentleman, one who didn’t lose his inhibitions any more often than he lost his self-control.
“This morning, in the cave… I acted like an ass, and I’m sorry.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, accepting his apology with a terse nod. Then she glanced at the clock above his head and manufactured a short yawn.
His eyes narrowed. “I know I said I wasn’t looking for a relationship-”
“Neither am I,” she interrupted. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I don’t have the best track record with women.”
She almost choked on her surprise. Luke Meza was admitting he’d made mistakes
“She wasn’t bad,” he admitted, studying her face. “More like troubled.”
It didn’t take a genius to figure out he thought the same of her, and she didn’t want to hear any more. She didn’t need him psychoanalyzing her. And her blood boiled with jealousy at the thought of him with another woman, this sultry siren who’d done him wrong.
“She worked at a strip club.”
Her mouth fell open.
“As a waitress,” he clarified, smiling a little. “And no, I didn’t approve. She kept it from me. I didn’t find out until after we moved in together.”
“She also did drugs. I didn’t know about that until too late, either.”
“Too late?”
“After we broke up.”
Judging by his expression, his girlfriend’s drug habit was something he felt responsible for. “So you found out she worked at a strip club and kicked her out on the streets?”
“Of course not,” he said with a frown. “I didn’t like that she’d lied to me about her job, but the tips were good and she was putting herself through college. We argued about it, sure, and then we… made up.”
“I bought her a ring. I thought she’d let me pay for her classes if we got married.”
“You were in love with her?” she asked, her voice steady.
He shrugged, as if the question didn’t bother him. “I thought so. But I was young and stupid and unrealistic. I wanted her to fit an ideal.” His eyes met hers, and Shay knew he was comparing her with his ex again. “She wouldn’t have.”
“Did you propose?”
“No. The night I planned to, she called and said she had to work late. I was pissed off and spoiling for a fight. I went to the club and found one.”
“With her?”
“Not exactly. She was waiting on a group of college kids. I’d been watching her all night, counting every drink she peddled, every smile she gave, every tip she collected. Acting like a jealous fool. When one of the guys copped a feel, I lost it.”
“You hurt him?”
“Nah. The bouncer pulled me away from him before I did any permanent damage. But she… we… it was never the same between us. She thought I didn’t trust her and she was right. I didn’t ask her to marry me, but I did ask her to quit. She refused.” He rubbed a hand over his shadowed jaw, looking every bit as drained as Shay felt. “After that, she was home less and less. She started staying out all night and skipping her classes, sleeping all day. Eventually, she moved out… and I moved on.”
“How long ago was this?”
“Ten years.”
“You feel responsible for a girl who lied to you and left you
“She died of a drug overdose last year. I was called in to identify the body.” He swallowed hard, his eyes bleak. “They found my name in her emergency contact info. Yeah, it was ten years ago, but I was the only person who cared about her. It was ten years ago, but I was the only one she ever trusted.”
Tears burned in her own eyes. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I knew you’d understand. Sometimes we feel responsible for things that are beyond our control.”
He was talking about her mother. Not fair.
Giving her another pointed glance, he added, “And sometimes we have to let go in order to move on.”
She sputtered, incredulous. “You haven’t moved on!”
“You’re right,” he admitted. “I’ve dated other women, but I haven’t put much effort into making it last. In fact, I’ve actively avoided anyone who seemed… needy.”
She felt the color drain from her cheeks. “Is that what you think I am?”
He had the nerve to laugh. And the wherewithal to step out of striking range. “No,” he said, sobering. “You’re the first one who’s made me feel like moving on.”
She gripped the purse in her hands until her knuckles went white. It was appalling how much she wanted to believe him, to let go of her hang-ups and throw herself into his arms. Being this vulnerable terrified her, however, and she’d been hurt by men far too often. “Let’s not make this more complicated than it is,” she urged. “You’re lots of fun when you take your clothes off, but I never said I wanted to get serious. And the only moving on you’ll be doing is when you leave town.”
A muscle in his jaw ticked as he weighed her words. “I won’t share you,” he said quietly, looking into her eyes.
His possessiveness warmed her, scared her, confused her. She shook the feeling away, struggling to remain aloof.
“Are you still in love with Jesse?”
“That’s none of your business,” she said, her heart racing with anxiety. “This morning you said you didn’t want me! You can’t just-change your mind about us, and notify me afterward. I’m not your doormat, Luke. And I’m not your girlfriend.”
