Small Town Girl

get your goat. Either it's somebody asking for my autograph, or somebody asking me to perform, or something I gave Momma.'

'You love to throw it in our faces, don't you?' Judy accused. Abruptly her voice became mimicking. 'Look at me, the rich, famous star coming back home to show the peons just how drudging their lives are!'

'Damn it, Judy, that's not fair! I have never flaunted my fame or my money around you and you know it!'

'Start with your car, and those clothes you're wearing today, and your mobile phone.' She made the words sound reprehensible. 'Yuppie country star cruises into town talking on her phone, impressing young girls who have dreams of being a star, too.'

'I do my business by long distance. And you bought new clothes for the wedding, didn't you?' Judy refused to answer. 'All right, then, so did I. And as for Casey, I wouldn't have paid her two cents' worth of attention if she didn't have talent. But she does, and if I can help her develop it, why shouldn't I?'

'You made sure you announced it where everyone would know how magnanimous you are, didn't you?'

'I didn't announce it. I told Casey a week ago at her own house, in private. Somebody else brought it up tonight, and somebody else made the toast. But you could barely stand to lift your glass with the others, could you? You can't even be happy for Casey. And at Momma's house the day she came home from the hospital, when everybody asked us to sing, what should I have said? No? Because my sister Judy can't stand it? She's going to go in the kitchen and sulk? That's what you did, Judy, and it hurt me. It always hurts me when you treat me as if what I do for a living is something I should be apologizing for. Do you know that you've never once said, 'Congratulations, Tess' or 'Nice song, Tess,' or 'Bought your tape, Tess'? Nothing. As if what I do doesn't even exist. Instead, when anybody else offers me any kind of attention you just curdle up inside. But this is what I do, Judy.' She leaned forward earnestly, one hand on the vanity top. 'I sing. I sign autographs. I wear glitzy clothes and get photographed for magazine covers because it's part of my work. And when I have the chance to discover new talent and bring it to Nashville, I'm going to do it. Should I pretend none of that is true whenever I'm around you? And should I drive a rusted-out used car for you, too? And not give Momma nice things because it pisses you off? Look, she isn't going to be around forever, and if I want to buy her emeralds, I will! And if I want to take Casey to Nashville, I will! And if you can't accept that, then I pity you. Because the people who really love me are glad for me, and for my success, and for my fame, because they know I worked damned hard for it.'

Someone tried the door.

Judy picked up her purse, but Tess grabbed her arm.

'Let me go.' Judy tried to pull away, refusing to meet Tess's eyes.

'In a minute. I'm going to tell you something first. If you were happier with yourself you'd be happier with others as well. Think about it.'

The woman outside banged on the door. 'Hey, who's in there?'

Judy yanked her arm free and glared at her younger sister. 'Why don't you just go back where you came from?' she said venomously. 'The rest of us can take care of Momma and do a lot better job of it, too.'

The lock clacked open and the door slammed against the tile wall as Judy stormed out.

Tess stayed behind, struggling to compose herself. Though she was trembling and tears were threatening, she smiled falsely at the pair of women who came in looking curiously at her. When they saw who it was they decided not to go into the stalls, but to fuss first at the mirror. Tess withdrew a lipstick and powder from her bag and put them to use. Her cheeks held blotches of bright pink while an unflattering flush had mottled her neck.

'I really like your shoes,' one of the women said.

'Thank you.'

'Are you going to sing with the band tonight?' the other asked.

'No, I'm sorry, I'm not.'

'Oh, shoot.'

She tucked away her makeup, snapped her handbag shut and hid anything personal from these strangers. Her smile said Sorry to disappoint you, while she offered her customary response to this common request. 'You can hear me anytime on the MCA label.'

By the time Tess returned to the table the band had started playing and Judy and Ed were gone. So was everyone else except Mary, who inquired, 'What went on in the ladies' room anyway? Judy nearly pulled Ed's arm out of his socket getting him out of here.'

'I told her what I thought of her jealousy, and Momma, so help me, if you claim one more time that Judy isn't jealous, I'm going to take your wine away, which is probably what I should do anyway!'

'You're too late. Kenny and Faith already cut me off.'

'Where are they?'

'Dancing. Everybody is. They all suddenly decided to get up and go out on the dance floor when Judy came roaring out of that bathroom like a wounded rhinoceros and hauled her family home. What is it about weddings that starts so many family feuds?'

Angry tears sprouted in Tess's eyes. 'Momma, I just wasn't going to take any more of Judy's shit. She's your daughter, too, and I know you love her, and I'm not asking you to do anything else, but I've been hurt by her so many times, and it's all because she's got such low self-esteem that she can't handle any aspect of my success. It's all right for Judy to get up and leave the room when anybody treats me like a star, but it's not all right for me to call her on it, because that makes me egotistical! Well, I took it, Momma, without saying a word, but no more! Tonight she cut you off when you were excited about your earrings, then she did the same thing to Casey when she was excited about going to Nashville. Now, I ask you, who is small and who isn't?'

Mary sighed and rubbed the back of Tess's fist on the tabletop. 'I've been thinking about it since the first Sunday you were home when all you kids were at the house together, and I know you're right. She left the living room as soon as you and Casey started singing. And I've seen other evidence that I just didn't want to believe. Judy's awful good to me, you know.'

'Of course she is, Momma, but this isn't about whether or not she's good to you.'

'No… no, it isn't.'

'You know what would help her a lot? If she got on a good weight-loss program and started taking more pride in her appearance.'

'I know, but who's going to tell her so?'

'Not me.'

'Not me, either.'

'I came as close to telling her as I ever will, five minutes ago in the bathroom.'

'She looked nice tonight,' Mary said wistfully.

'She looked very nice tonight. But she'd look better if she lost some weight.'

Renee interrupted at that moment, arriving breathless from the dance floor and bracing both hands on the table-top. She looked particularly radiant in an apricot dress with a lace bodice and a sheer skirt. 'What happened to Judy and Ed?' she inquired.

Tess confessed, 'My fault. I got into it with Judy in the bathroom about you know what.'

'So she stomped off home?'

'And took Ed and Tricia, too. I'm sorry, Renee.'

Renee straightened up, lifted the hair off her hot neck, and said, 'Hey, you know what? It's Judy's problem, not ours. And I'm not going to let her spoil my daughter's wedding for me. Now, listen… the bride and groom sent me over to talk to you. They're getting so many requests from their guests that they told me to ask if you'll sing just one song with the band. They said to tell you that if you say yes they'll give you their firstborn.'

'Just what I need is a firstborn.'

'What do you say?'

'I've been telling everyone all night long that I'm not singing.'

'Not even at the bride and groom's request? It would mean so much to them, Tess. Come on,' she cajoled.

Tess glanced at the dance floor. Rachel and Brent were half dancing, watching Tess with hopeful expressions