She left the front door open by accident, with her keys in it, and a few minutes later Jim walked through it. He had gone to Starbucks and picked up lattes for them both.
He quietly closed the front door and walked into the kitchen. She was sitting at the kitchen table, staring at the garden without seeing it, and then turned her eyes to him with a look of surprise.
“How did you get in?”
“You left the door open,” he said, handing her the keys. It illustrated to him why she shouldn’t be alone, although with Brigitte in custody, Tallie was in no danger that he knew of, but she was in no condition to be on her own from what he could see. He was here as a friend this time, not for the FBI. He gave her one of the lattes, and she took a sip without thinking, like a robot. Her eyes looked glazed, and her hand was shaking as she held the cup.
“Thank you,” she said softly, and then her eyes met his. “He was such a wonderful person. When my mom died, he became everything to me, just like you are with your kids,” she said sadly. It had been a special relationship like no other. “And he was always so loving to her. He was such a good man,” she said, with tears streaming down her cheeks. Jim said nothing, and just rubbed her shoulder, and then she leaned over to him, and he pulled her into his arms and hugged her. He wished he could take the hurt and the loss away for her, but he couldn’t. She just clung to him and cried like a child. And then finally she looked at him with red eyes. “Thank you for being here. I didn’t know who to call… everyone’s gone now…” He knew what she meant and he said nothing. There had been a lot of changes in her life lately, and now this.
“That’s what friends are for,” he said quietly. He liked the idea of being her friend, and so did she. There was no way he could have just hung up after what she told him. He wanted to come and see her. They sat in the kitchen, quietly talking. He just wanted to be there for her.
“Thank you for doing this,” she said again, and he smiled at her gently.
“I know what it’s like. I was devastated when I lost my wife.” Jim was happy to be there for her, even though they didn’t know each other well. It felt a little strange to her to be sitting in her kitchen and crying with him. “At least you know he had a good life, and went peacefully. But I know that doesn’t make it any easier for you. Life isn’t easy sometimes.”
“Not lately,” she said with a tired smile. “I wish all the other stuff were all over,” she sighed. It was so wearing and so unsettling.
“It will be over soon, Tallie. I know it feels like forever when you’re going through it.”
“Yeah, like childbirth, only you don’t get any reward at the end of this.”
“We’ll try to get you what we can from the embezzlement. Her house is a solid asset. And I know the U.S. attorney is asking for a restitution order for you if she’s convicted or pleads. You’re going to win either way. You won’t get back all of what you lost, but at least part of it.” And as Max had reminded her at one point, they weren’t starving or in the street, but it hurt to lose that much money, for anyone, even Tallie.
“I just want it to be over,” she said, then closed her eyes and leaned against him as he put an arm around her and supported her. “I want it all to be done, all the horrible stuff that’s been happening, and instead there’s always one more thing.”
“Bad things come in clumps, like grapes. Ever notice that?” he said, and she laughed.
“Yeah, very, very, very sour grapes. I’ve had a few too many lately.”
“I know you have,” he said, and rubbed her shoulder again. She barely knew him, but she appreciated his kindness to her. She was grateful not to be alone just then. She was relieved that he was there.
“I guess I should go over to the funeral home,” Tallie said, and looked like she was dreading it. She couldn’t think of anything worse. She was glad she hadn’t gone to Hunt’s funeral, and now she had to arrange her dad’s.
“May I go with you?” he asked respectfully, and she nodded, appreciative of his help and support. She felt very lost. And it occurred to him as he looked at her that in the world she was a celebrity and important person, but all he saw was a sad woman who needed help, and he was more than willing to give it.
“I’d like that,” she said quietly as she went to get her purse, and a few minutes later they left. She was thinking about it as he drove her there, how different everything was now. She felt very alone and vulnerable. Having been robbed and cheated on and lied to made her feel that way. It was a reminder of how fragile we all are and how fast things can change. “Brigitte used to do everything for me, or with me,” she said quietly as they drove to the funeral home. “Having someone like that who takes care of everything is like having a mother, or an older sister. I never had a sister, and I lost my mother when I was very young, so having someone shield me and take care of everything was wonderful. It makes you feel very safe, and then I realized I wasn’t safe at all. It was like being attacked by the person you trust most and think will never hurt you. I felt that way about Hunt too, but more so about Brigitte. She was with me for a lot longer. Seventeen years. It was like losing a member of my family when I found out what she’d done. I never even had a close woman friend because I had her. Now I’m on my own. It’s not like I can’t do it,” she said as though reminding herself, “it’s just very hard.” It was why he had come over to be with her that afternoon, because he understood perfectly how she felt.
“That’s why crimes like that are so terrible,” he said as he glanced at her in the front seat of his car. Bobby’s baseball shoes were on the floor at her feet, and one of his baseball bats was on the backseat. There was nothing glamorous about Jim’s life or his car, but he was totally at ease with her. “It’s also why they give people more time in prison for abuse of trust. It’s a big deal. It’s not just about the money-it’s about abusing someone who is totally vulnerable to you and trusts you.”
“Maybe it’s a lesson to me not to rely on anyone,” she said sadly. She had learned the hard way just how big a target she was and how naive. “I guess it made me lazy about taking care of myself.” It felt good to realize now that she could fend for herself, although she had been thinking lately of getting a new assistant. Her life was too busy not to have one. But the thought of starting to look for someone else depressed her, especially after her experience with Brigitte.
“You have to trust someone in life,” he said, and she shook her head.
“Maybe not.” There were fewer and fewer people in her life now that she could trust. With her father gone, only Max, and she was very young. Tallie couldn’t lean on her and wouldn’t have wanted to, she was her child. But at a peer level, as an equal, she had no one, which made Jim’s gesture of friendship even more meaningful to her.
They reached the funeral home then. He parked in their lot, and followed her inside. He was wearing jeans and a T-shirt and running shoes, but he looked solemn and dignified. She was still wearing Max’s T-shirt, and shorts, and she didn’t care. What she cared about was what was in her heart, not on her back. That hadn’t changed. And Jim liked what was in her heart. She was a good woman, and he liked what he knew of her after their many conversations, time together, and everything he had learned in his investigation. He had come to respect her a great deal. She was nothing like the Hollywood film people he’d met before.
The funeral director on duty was helpful and polite. They looked at caskets and made plans. She selected a program that would be distributed by the ushers in church. And she had to pick a photograph of her father, but she already knew the one she wanted. She had to pick a suit for him to wear, buy a cemetery plot, write an obituary, pick music, speak to the church, and find a minister to do it. There were so many details to think about that her head spun.
She signed a series of forms, and an hour later they left, and Jim drove her to the cemetery, where they picked a peaceful spot under a tree and arranged to have her mother moved there afterward. Tallie bought four plots, to include herself and Max one day, which seemed awful, but she wanted to know that they’d all be together. She hated the things she had to plan now. Everything in her life was about loss and death at the moment. She couldn’t think of anything good that had happened in a long time. And afterward Jim took her to the Bel Air Presbyterian Church, to make arrangements with the pastor there. Jim spent the whole day with her. It was six o’clock when they got home, and she had to write the obituary that night. She was exhausted as they walked into the house, and she dropped her canvas plumber’s bag on the couch, and looked at Jim.
“Thank you. I could never have gotten through it without you.” He could see that she meant it, and her eyes looked huge in her face. If he had known her better, he would have put her to bed, but he didn’t, so he couldn’t suggest it. He made her a cup of tea instead and handed it to her, while she sat on the couch looking decimated. She smiled as she took it. It was exactly what Brigitte would have done. “I’m so sorry to eat up your whole day like this.”
“I have nothing to do this weekend,” he reassured her. “I’m happy to do it. Do you want me to go and get some groceries? You have nothing in your fridge again. Don’t you ever eat?” he scolded her, and she laughed.
