looked very pretty. She wore a little makeup and her long blond hair down. Harlan had said it was the perfect outfit for a first date. Sexy, young, simple, and it didn’t look like she was trying too hard. He had said solemnly definitely no cleavage on a first date, although she had plenty of it. He told her to save it for later, and she hadn’t been planning to show it off anyway. She was happy in the loose T-shirt. And she and Jack chatted constantly on the way downtown. He was fun to be with and had a good sense of humor. He made her laugh at the description of the schools he’d worked in. And it was obvious that he genuinely liked kids. It was equally so that he liked her.
She contemplated the menu with a frown when they got to the diner. She always had a weakness for meat loaf and mashed potatoes, which reminded her of her grandmother’s cooking, which had been the best thing about her, but she didn’t want to overdo it and eat too much. The fried chicken sounded good too. She finally decided on sliced turkey breast and ordered string beans. And the food was good. She almost burst out laughing when Jack ordered lamb chops and a baked potato. He ate them with a knife and fork. No sign of Tom Jones. She could tell Harlan that he had passed the test. And she hoped that she had too. They shared a piece of homemade apple pie a la mode for dessert. When they finished their meal, he said, “I like a woman who has a healthy appetite,” and told her that the last girl he had gone out with was anorexic, and it had driven him crazy. She never ate, and was apparently severely neurotic in other ways. He didn’t see anything wrong with Victoria enjoying her food.
They both liked the play, and talked about it all the way back to her place on the subway. It was depressing, but beautifully acted and well written. She’d had a really great evening with him, and she thanked him as they stood outside her building in the warm night air. She didn’t invite him to come upstairs at the end of the evening, it was too soon. But it definitely felt like a date to her. Jack looked happy too and said he’d like to go out with her again. She thanked him, and he hugged her, and there was a spring in her step and a smile on her face when she walked into the empty apartment. For a minute she was sorry she hadn’t invited him upstairs for a drink, but decided it was better this way. And much to her surprise, he called her the next day.
He said there was an art show downtown that he was going to and wanted to know if she’d like to join him. She did, they met downtown, and had dinner together again. By the time she got back to school on Monday morning, they had had two dates, and she couldn’t wait to tell her shrink. It felt like a real victory to her, a huge compliment, and they seemed to be compatible in many ways. They ran into each other in the teachers’ lounge at lunchtime, and she appreciated that he was discreet and didn’t refer to seeing her on the weekend. She didn’t want the whole school knowing that they’d gone out with each other outside school, especially for a proper “date.” He was casual and friendly, but nothing more, and then he called her that night to invite her out on Friday for dinner and a movie. She was really excited when she told her roommates about it over dinner in the kitchen.
“It sounds like we have a live one here,” Harlan said, grinning at her. “And he passed the lamb chop test. Shit, Victoria, you’re in business.” She laughed and felt silly, and almost helped herself to a second piece of garlic bread to celebrate. John was a terrific cook, but she stopped herself. She really wanted to lose some weight, and she had good reason to do it now. She had a date!
Their movie date on Friday was as much fun as the other two had been. And they met again on Sunday, for a walk in the park, and he held hands with her as they strolled along. They bought ice cream from a man with a hand truck rolling through the park, but she forced herself to throw it away before she finished. She had lost two pounds that week, and had been doing sit-ups every night in front of the TV. Even her shrink was excited about her budding romance, although Victoria hadn’t slept with him yet. He hadn’t tried, and she didn’t want to do that too soon. She wanted to be sure how she felt about him before she did, and that they had something real between them. She didn’t just want sex. She wanted a relationship, and Jack was beginning to seem like the perfect candidate for it, after four dates. They went back to her apartment on Sunday afternoon, and he met Bunny and Harlan, and was very nice to both of them. And they both liked him.
October was the most exciting, hopeful month she’d had in years as she and Jack continued to see each other every weekend, and on the third weekend they went out, he kissed her. They talked about it, and both agreed that they wanted to wait a little while before they took the relationship to another level. They both wanted to be cautious and mature and get to know each other better before they took a major leap. It made her feel safe and comfortable with him, and not pushed beyond her limits. He was respectful of her, and every time they saw each other, they got closer and had a wonderful time. Victoria’s shrink fully approved.
Victoria had told him a little about her parents, though not a great deal. She hadn’t told him about the tester cake remark, or being named after Queen Victoria, but she did say that they had never praised her, and were critical of her choice of career.
“We have that in common,” Jack said to her. “My mother always wanted me to be a doctor, because her father was. My father still wants me to be a lawyer like him. I love being a teacher, and they warn me constantly that I’ll never make a decent living or be able to support a wife and kids. But other people do it, and this is what I want to do. When I went to MIT, my father thought I should at least be an engineer.”
“My father says the same thing, minus being able to support a wife and kids. I guess no one congratulates anyone for becoming a teacher. It seems like an important job to me. We have a pretty major influence on kids.”
“I know. People get paid five million bucks for hitting a baseball out of the park. But educating young people isn’t worth a damn thing to anyone, except to us. It’s a little sick.” They both agreed. They agreed on almost everything. And in early November things were heating up between them. They had been dating for just over a month, seeing each other once or twice a weekend, and Victoria could sense that they were going to sleep with each other soon. They were working up to it. She felt totally at ease with him, and was falling in love. He was a terrific guy, straightforward, honest, intelligent, warm, funny. He was everything she had ever dreamed of in a man, and as Gracie would have said, she thought he was cute. She had told her younger sister all about him, and she was thrilled, although Victoria had said nothing to her parents, and had warned Gracie not to either. She didn’t want to deal with their negative comments, or their predictions of doom. It was still inconceivable to them that any man would fall in love with her. But she could tell that Jack thought she was pretty, and the warmth they shared in their relationship made Victoria bloom like a garden in spring. She looked relaxed, more sure of herself, and constantly happy. Dr. Watson was concerned-she didn’t want her self-esteem to come from a man, rather than be generated from within. But Jack was certainly helping how she felt about herself. And she had dropped ten pounds, by watching her portions and what she ate. She remembered the nutritionist’s warning not to skip meals, and to eat healthy food. This time there were no crash diets, no herbal teas, no purges. She was just happy, and everything else fell into place accordingly. They were both talking about their plans to go home for Thanksgiving, and were considering coming back to New York during the weekend, so they could spend part of the holiday together.
She was thinking about it one evening, when she walked into the kitchen and saw John and Harlan deep in thought and earnest conversation. They both looked unhappy, and she quickly found an excuse to leave the kitchen. She didn’t want to intrude. They seemed as though they had a problem. And Harlan stopped her just before she went back to her room with a cup of tea.
“Got a minute?” he asked her as she hesitated. She could see that John was upset. She wondered if they were having an argument and hoped it wasn’t serious. Their relationship had been so good until then, for almost a year now. She would hate it if they broke up, and she knew Harlan would be distraught.
“Sure,” Victoria said in answer to his question, with no idea how she could help them, but willing to try. Harlan waved at a chair at the kitchen table, as John let out a sigh. “Looks like you guys are having a problem,” she said sympathetically, as her heart went out to both of them.
“Yeah, kind of,” John admitted. “It’s kind of a moral dilemma.”
“Between the two of you?” She looked surprised. She couldn’t imagine either of them cheating on the other. And she was certain that Harlan was faithful, and assumed that John was too. They were just that kind of people, with good values, morality, and a lot of integrity, and besides, they loved each other.
“No, it’s about a friend,” Harlan answered. “I hate meddling in other people’s business. I always wondered what I would do if I found out something that would hurt someone I love, but thought that they should know. It’s a situation I’ve never wanted to be in.”
“And you are now?” Victoria asked innocently, and they both nodded at the same time. John sighed again, and this time he spoke up. He knew it was too hard for Harlan to do it, and he was the one who had the information first hand. They’d been talking about it for two weeks, and had hoped it would work itself out. But it hadn’t. It had gotten worse. And neither of them wanted to see Victoria heading for a wall. They loved her too much as their friend, and almost like a sister.
“I don’t know all of the details. But it’s about Jack. Your Jack. Life is really weird at times, but I’ve been talking
