seemed to be doing all right, given the circumstances, although Annie thought he seemed nervous and very stressed. He was still upset about the baby. And despite Pattie’s constant pressure, he hadn’t agreed to marry her before August. She said it would be humiliating to get married when she was so pregnant, but Ted wouldn’t relent on that. August was the best he was willing to do, no matter how much she cried and whined about it. He felt pressured enough as it was, and he still thought it was wrong for them to have the baby. He wasn’t prepared to take that on, but he had agreed to step up to the plate. He was being very good to her and had taken over all the household chores for her. And he was honest with Annie that he was behind in his studying and was worried about his midterms. Even an unmerited gift of Pattie’s A couldn’t pull up his GPA.
And Liz had said something to Annie about a new man in her life, but she hadn’t said who. She was being mysterious about it, and Annie didn’t push. She assumed it was one of her typical guys, a photographer or model or someone she had met through work.
“I thought you said you were taking a break,” Annie reminded her, and Liz laughed.
“I am… I was… I don’t know… this is very new. It’s nothing yet. He lives in Rome, and I’ve only seen him a few times. I met him in Paris over New Year’s, and he was here on business a few weeks ago. We had lunch and dinner, but it probably can’t go anywhere. He hardly ever comes to New York, and I only go to Rome a couple of times a year.” A relationship with Alessandro wasn’t a very realistic hope, but he was calling her several times a day, and Liz had wonderful conversations with him, about serious subjects. He had promised to come to see her in Paris the next time she was there.
“Geography isn’t insurmountable, you know,” Annie reminded her, “for the right guy. If it ever got serious, maybe you could get a job at Italian
“That’s what he says,” Liz said thoughtfully, “but we’re a long way from there. I haven’t even slept with him yet. I didn’t want to get carried away with a guy I might never see again.” But she had to admit to herself, if not to Annie, that it had been hard to resist. He had kissed her when they walked through Central Park, and she nearly melted in his arms, and there had been a serious makeout session on her couch that night, but they had both managed to restrain themselves, and Liz was glad she had.
“It doesn’t sound very likely that you won’t see him again,” Annie commented with a smile. She’d never heard Liz sound like this about any man. But the men she had always gone out with were boys. Alessandro was a man. And she didn’t sound frightened this time. For the first time in her life, Liz was willing to risk her heart. Annie was happy for her, and relieved. Liz deserved a good man, and not the flakes she’d been going out with for years. And she wished Ted would find a nice girl too. That certainly wasn’t the case for the moment.
Ted had gone to a basketball game at NYU with one of his roommates on a Friday night, on a weekend when Pattie’s kids were with their father, and she had complained that she wanted Ted home with her. She said she had a headache, but he’d been gently insistent that he needed a break. He never saw his friends anymore, and she had insisted he be with her constantly ever since she told him she was pregnant. But for once he told her he was going out, and said he’d stay at his own apartment afterward, since he’d probably have too much to drink, and she didn’t like that either. He needed a little room to spread his wings.
But he didn’t drink as much as he thought he would at the game, their team lost, and he felt guilty on his way home, so he left his roommate and went back to Pattie’s apartment to surprise her. She was lying on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, watching a romantic comedy, and she was thrilled to see him when he walked through the door with his key.
“What are you doing here?” she asked with pleasure. She still looked the same. She hadn’t started to gain weight yet, but she was only two and a half months pregnant, and she was a tall, full-bodied woman and carried it well.
“I missed you,” he said simply, and smiled at her. In part it was true. He was used to her now. But he also knew that she’d find some way to punish him the next day for going to the game with his friends. She had none of her own. She was completely dependent on Ted for all her entertainment, emotional sustenance, and distraction. She never wanted to spend five minutes away from him, so it was easier to just go back to her apartment than listen to her complain about it later.
“Did you eat dinner?” she asked him as she lay on the couch. She wasn’t much of a cook, but she kept him fed. They lived mostly on pizza and Chinese takeout, which he paid for, and once in a blue moon she cooked. There was a bucket of KFC in the kitchen, and he helped himself to a piece.
“I had a hot dog and nachos at the game,” he said, and then finished a piece of chicken, cracked open a beer, and decided to go to the bathroom first. He closed the door and turned on the light and then stared at what he saw in the bowl. He didn’t understand it. It didn’t belong there, and there was no one in the apartment but her. It looked like an injured mouse, but it was a bloody tampon, and there was blood in the bowl. She had forgotten to flush. And she clearly wasn’t having a miscarriage or distressed about it. She was laughing loudly at the film she had seen a dozen times before, and she smiled as he came out of the bathroom.
His head was reeling, but he said nothing to her. He walked into the kitchen and stared out the window, trying to understand what he’d seen and what it meant. It didn’t seem possible that she would do that to him. But what if she had? What if it was all a lie and a hoax? His whole body was trembling as he stood there, and he had to know. He grabbed his coat, strode to the door, and said something vague to Pattie about being back in a few minutes.
“Where are you going?” She looked surprised that he was leaving.
“I’ll be back in five minutes,” he said, looking distressed, without further explanation, and then he was gone. She wasn’t worried. She knew he’d be back. He acted like a kid sometimes.
There was a Duane Reade two blocks away that stayed open all night. He bought a pregnancy kit with two tests in it, put it in his pocket, ran back to the apartment, and sprinted up the stairs. He was still shaking, and there was a look in his eyes she had never seen before. She reached out and touched his crotch, and he took her hand, and then pulled her firmly up from the couch. He still had his coat on, and there was a frightening look in his eyes.
“What are you doing?” She looked puzzled and confused, as he led her into the bathroom, and she followed. “What is this, Ted?” She had no idea what he had in mind or why he had gone out.
“You tell me,” he said in a shattered voice. She reached for him, thinking he wanted to have sex with her, but it was clear he didn’t, and he wouldn’t let her touch him. He reached into his pocket and handed her the pregnancy kit, and Pattie looked startled. “I don’t need that,” she said, laughing at him. “Don’t be silly.” She tried to make a game of it and stroked him through his jeans. He didn’t move an inch and opened the box for her and handed her the test, as her face went pale.
“Do it,” he said in a voice that sounded like someone else’s. He looked cold, and he was shaking. She had tried to destroy his life and had almost blackmailed him into marrying her over a baby he now suspected didn’t exist. He left the bathroom and waited just outside the door. She took a long time, and he could hear her crying. The game was over. And then she finally came out, without the test, and looked at him in despair.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, as tears poured down her cheeks. She looked panicked. They both knew that if she’d done it, the test would have shown she wasn’t pregnant. Now he understood why she had told him she had a headache that afternoon. For once, she was willing to forgo sex, because she didn’t want him to discover that she had her period. But the game was up now. He saw all the life go out of her as they both stood there.
“I love you, Ted,” she whispered through a sob. “I’m sorry.”
“How could you do that to me? Threaten me and tell me you would kill yourself and the baby, that I had to marry you
“Don’t leave me,” she said, clutching at his legs. “I love you, Ted.” She was begging him not to go.
“You don’t know the meaning of the word,” he said as he opened the door and pulled away from her. He still had his coat on from when he’d gone to the store. There was nothing he wanted from the apartment. Whatever he had there, he never wanted to see again, and especially her. She had lied to him about being pregnant and tried to destroy his life. He looked down at her with disgust, left, and slammed the door behind him. He ran down the stairs, threw open the door that led to the street, and took big gulps of the cold air.
And then he ran all the way home. He felt like he had escaped from prison. He had broken out. He had gotten one lucky break with the bloody tampon she’d forgotten to flush down the toilet. He wanted to shout as he ran
