St. Patrick’s, and when they got back from church, she had a call from her mother in London. Miriam said she was up early getting things ready for the children, and she wanted to wish Heloise and her father a merry Christmas.
“Thanks, Mom,” Heloise said pleasantly. Her mother knew she had been in Lausanne since September but hadn’t invited her to London and said she was too busy. Greg and his band were cutting a new album. The conversation was brief, and Heloise sat quietly for a moment after she hung up. Talking to her mother always left her feeling empty. She tried to explain it to her father, and he felt sad for her. Miriam never failed to disappoint her. She was the classic narcissist and a totally inadequate mother. “I guess we were lucky that we were alone together for all these years.” She smiled sadly at her father. “I can’t imagine what life would have been like with her. I don’t even remember when you two were married.” She had been too young to still remember it now. “And I guess it was lucky too that you never remarried,” she said, and smiled at him, as a tremor went through him, knowing what he did now, although he and Natalie had no plans to marry. It was all too new, but he could already imagine spending the rest of his life with her, with Heloise’s approval. It was a big leap for him, in contrast to his past fifteen years of refusing to commit or get seriously involved. “I like having you to myself,” Heloise said honestly. “I don’t think I’d have wanted to share you.” It was a big statement for her to make now, and it unnerved Hugues a little.
“And now?” he asked her quietly, watching her eyes.
She laughed at the question since it wasn’t an issue. “I don’t want to share you now either. I like being the only woman in your life, Papa.”
“And what happens when you fall in love and get married one day?” It was an honest question.
“Then we’ll all live here together, and live happily ever after. But I like it this way for now.” She had no plans to marry Francois. They were both too young. The thought hadn’t even crossed her mind.
Hugues sighed as he listened to her, and she didn’t notice the sadness in his eyes. There was no way he could tell her about Natalie now, after what she had just said. He suspected it would cause a real explosion and a rift between them he didn’t want. He didn’t want to hurt his daughter. Her mother had given her enough pain for a lifetime.
“Then you’d better come home and be the woman in my life,” he teased her to lighten the moment. “If you stay in Paris with Francois, I’m coming to get you.” Heloise laughed when he said it, and she reassured him a moment later.
“Don’t worry, Papa. I’m coming home for good next Christmas. I promise.” She moved closer to him then on the couch and put an arm around him. “I’m going to be your girl forever.” She had been all her life, and in her mind nothing had changed. It was inconceivable to her that there was any other woman in his life. There was no sign of it. “I love you, Papa,” she said softly as she leaned her head on her father’s shoulder. Unlike her mother, in her entire life he had never let her down.
“I love you too,” he whispered, and pulled her closer, feeling as though he had betrayed Natalie by not telling his daughter about her. But his first allegiance was to Heloise, always had been and always would be. It was the old saying that blood was thicker than water. And the bond they shared was more powerful than any other.
Chapter 11
WHEN NATALIE CAME back to New York the day after Christmas, Hugues said he was taking Heloise to the theater that night. It was the most successful new play of the season, and they both wanted to see it. He would have loved to invite Natalie, but he didn’t dare. He had realized on Christmas Eve that there was no way he could tell Heloise about his romance with Natalie before she left. Not after what she had said that night, about wanting to be the only woman in his life. In light of that, Natalie was not likely to be a good surprise. And he didn’t want to risk it.
He didn’t see Natalie again until the night Heloise left, which had been a sorrowful parting for them. He had promised to come to Europe for her Easter vacation and take her to Rome. It was almost four months away, which was a long time for them both, but it would have been hard for him to get away before that, and she was busy with school in Lausanne.
Her eyes filled with tears when he left her at the airport, and he choked up, and he had the car stop at Natalie’s apartment on the way back. She was surprised to see him. She had tried not to be upset about how busy and unavailable he had been while Heloise was there. The last time she had seen him was for lunch on Christmas Eve, six days before, which was a long span for them to be apart.
“Do you hate me?” he asked, as he followed her into the apartment when she let him in.
“Don’t be silly. Why would I hate you?” She smiled at him, but she seemed cooler to him than the last time he’d seen her, when they exchanged their gifts. He was happy to observe that she was wearing the locket he had given her.
“Because I didn’t tell my daughter about us?” he answered her question. He felt guilty about it, and a little bit dishonest with Heloise. “After church on Christmas Eve, she told me that she loves being the only woman in my life. It was tough trying to tell her about you after that. I think she’ll need more time to adjust to it than a few days before she leaves. You’re going to be a big surprise to her.”
“I was hoping to be a good one,” Natalie said, still looking disappointed, “not a major trauma.” It was an unpleasant situation to be in and not the role she wanted. She wanted to make friends with Heloise, not destroy her life. “When are you seeing her again?”
“Not till Easter. I’m taking her to Rome for her school vacation. Maybe I can tell her then.”
“And not before?”
“I don’t think I should say something like that over the phone or by e-mail. And by then we’ll have spent more time together, which isn’t such a bad thing,” he rationalized. If the relationship had fallen apart by then, then he wouldn’t have to tell her at all and would never have upset her. Natalie understood the implication.
“Why? So I can audition?” She was starting to look angry then and seriously upset. She had no intention of auditioning for him. She loved him and believed that he loved her.
“You don’t have to audition for me,” he said, looking upset. “You have to understand, my daughter virtually never had a mother. I’m all she has in terms of family. Anyone entering that inner circle is bound to be a threat to her. You know how kids are.” He was struggling to justify a most unusual situation, and although Natalie was sensitive to it, not all the component parts made sense to her.
“She’s not a kid, Hugues,” Natalie said quietly. “She’s nineteen. Some people have their own children by then. My mother did. And I am trying to understand it, but it’s a weird situation for me. I don’t like being a secret. We’re not doing anything wrong, and it puts a huge burden on us. We can’t even move around the hotel freely, in case someone tells her. That’s not how I live. I’m an honest woman, and I love you. I’m willing to make allowances for this, but I want you to know that I’m not going to stay hidden forever.” She was being totally clear with him.
“And I don’t want you to,” he insisted. “Just give me till Easter. I’ll tell her when I’m in Europe with her. I promise.” She smiled at him slowly then. It was a bit of a crazy situation, but sometimes life was crazy. “Do you still love me?” he asked as he moved closer to her, and she smiled at him.
“Yes, I do. If I didn’t, all this wouldn’t be a problem. I love you very much, and I want to lead a normal, open life with you, so I can show off and be your woman. I’m very proud to be with you.” She had told her family about him over Christmas, and her older brother was pleased for her. He had never liked the man she’d lived with and thought he was a jerk. Hugues sounded like a good guy to him. Her brother, James, was a banker in Philadelphia, and his wife, Jean, was a lawyer, and they had four really great kids. They were a close-knit family, and they were happy to know that she was no longer alone.
Hugues sent the car and driver back to the hotel then and spent the rest of the evening trying to make it up to her for how inattentive he had been for the past two weeks, and not telling Heloise about them, and an hour later they were in her bed, making love. He spent the night with her and was planning to spend New Year’s Eve with her. He wanted to see the new year in with her and start it off right. They had already agreed to spend it at her place after he got their New Year’s festivities organized at the hotel. They always had revelers in the bar that night, a formal dinner in the restaurant, and later guests who’d had too much to drink weaving as they crossed the lobby. Some of them had to be helped to their rooms. And as long as Heloise didn’t know about them, Hugues and Natalie were trying to be discreet, which she didn’t like. Hiding their romance seemed like a lot of trouble to both of them