“You mean, like a bindi? Come on, Daff, don't be so tough on her. So she's a little weird. Give her a chance.”
“I hate her.” Maxine knew Daphne hated Charles too. She was hating a lot of people these days, even her parents. It was of the age.
“You probably won't ever see her again after this vacation, so don't waste a lot of energy on it. You know how that goes.”
“This one's different,” Daphne said, sounding depressed. “I think Dad loves her.”
“I doubt that. Dad's only known her for a few weeks.”
“You know how he is. He gets all crazy about them in the beginning.”
“Yeah, and then they go up in smoke and he forgets them. Just relax.” But she wondered after she hung up if Daphne was right and this one would be the exception. Anything was possible. She couldn't imagine Blake ever marrying again or staying with the same woman long term, but you never knew. Maybe one day he would. Maxine wondered how she would feel about that when it happened. Maybe not so great. Just like her children, she liked the way things were. Change was never easy, but maybe one day she'd have to face it. In Blake's life, and her own. That's what Charles was all about. Change. It was scary for her too.
The trip took longer than she expected because of the snow, and she got to Charles's place at eight o'clock. It was a small, neat little New England house with a peaked roof and a rustic fence around it. It looked like something on a postcard. He came out to greet her as soon as she drove up, and carried in her bags. There was a front porch with a swing and two rockers on it, and inside there was one big bedroom, a living room with a fireplace and a hooked rug, and a cozy country kitchen. She was disappointed to note that there would have been nowhere to put her kids, if it ever came to that. Not even a guest room where she could have crammed all three into one bed. It was a house suitable for a bachelor, or at most a couple, and nothing else, which was how he lived. And he liked it that way. He had made that clear.
The house was cozy and warm when she walked in, and he set her bags down in the bedroom, and showed her the closet where she could hang her things. It was an odd feeling being alone there with him. It seemed a little premature since she had never slept with him, and now they would be sharing a bed. What if she decided not to sleep with him? she asked herself. But it was too late now, she was there. She suddenly felt very brave coming up, and shy as he bustled around showing her where things were. Towels, sheets, washing machine, the bathroom, of which there was only one. And everything in his kitchen was immaculate and neat. He had cold chicken and some soup waiting for her, but after the long drive she was too tired to eat. She was happy sitting by the fire with him and a cup of tea.
“Did the children get off all right?” he asked politely.
“They're fine. Daphne called when they got to Aspen. She's a little upset because her father brought his new girlfriend along. He had promised not to this time, but he just met someone new, so he brought her with him. He gets a little overenthused in the beginning.”
“He's a busy guy,” Charles said, sounding disapproving. He was always uncomfortable when she mentioned Blake.
“The kids will adjust. They always do.”
“I'm not so sure Daphne is going to adjust to me.” He was still worried about that, and he wasn't used to the hellish fury of teenage girls. Maxine was much less impressed.
“She'll be fine. She just needs some time.”
They sat and talked by the fire for a long time, and the scene outside was one of sheer beauty. They stood on the porch, looking out at the fresh snow spread out all around them. It was magical, as Charles put his arms around her and kissed her. And just as he did, her cell phone went off. It was Sam, calling to kiss her goodnight. She gave him a kiss, said goodbye, and then turned to Charles again, and she could see he was unnerved.
“They seem to find you, even here,” he commented drily. “Don't you ever get time off?”
“I don't want to,” she said softly. “They're my kids. They're all I've got. They're my life.” It was precisely what he was afraid of, and why they frightened him so much. He couldn't imagine detaching them from her.
“You need more in your life than just them,” he said softly. He sounded like he was volunteering for the job, and she was touched. He kissed her again, and this time no one called, no one disturbed them. She followed him back inside, and they took turns in the bathroom getting ready for bed. It was faintly embarrassing and kind of funny, and Maxine giggled as she got into bed. She was wearing a long cashmere nightgown with a matching robe over it, and socks. It was hardly romantic, but she couldn't imagine wearing anything else. He was wearing clean striped pajamas, and she felt like her parents as they lay in his double bed side by side.
“This feels a little weird,” she admitted in a whisper, and then he kissed her, and it didn't feel strange anymore. His hands slipped under her nightgown, and little by little they took their clothes off under the covers and tossed them to the floor.
It had been so long since she had slept with anyone that she had been afraid it would be scary and awkward, and instead he was a gentle, considerate lover, and it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. They held each other tight afterward, and he told her how beautiful she was and said that he loved her, and she was shocked to hear the words. She wondered if he felt obliged to say them to her because they had made love. He said he had been falling in love with her since they met. And she told him as gently as she could that she needed more time before knowing that. There was so much she liked about him, and so much that she hoped to feel as she grew to know him better. She felt safe with him, which was important to her. She trusted him, and as they whispered in the dark, he made love to her again. And afterward, happy, comfortable, sated, and totally at peace, she fell asleep in his arms.
Chapter 12
“I know this may sound crazy to you, Maxine, but don't you think they're too old to be at home?”
“You were thinking maybe they should join the marines, or apply early to college?” After all, Jack and Daphne were only twelve and thirteen.
“I was in boarding school when I was their age. It was the best experience I ever had. I loved it, and it prepared me for life.” Just hearing him say it, Maxine was horrified.
“Never,” she said firmly. “I would never do that to my kids. They've already lost Blake, more or less. I'm not going to abandon them too. And why? So I can have a better social life? Who cares about that? These are the years when kids need their parents, need to learn their values, bounce problems off them, and learn how to deal with issues like sex and drugs. I don't want some boarding-school teacher teaching my kids about those things. I want them to learn that from me.” She was shocked.
“But what about you? Are you willing to defer having a life until they leave for college? That's what it means if you have them around all the time.”
“This is what I signed on for when I had them,” she said gently. “That's what parents are for. I see the results in my office every day when parents aren't there for their kids. Even if they are, things can go wrong. If you check out, and dump them in boarding school at these ages, I think you're asking for trouble.”
“I turned out okay,” he said defensively.
“Yes, but you opted not to have kids,” she said bluntly. “That says something too. Maybe you missed something in your childhood after all. Look at the British, they send their children away at six or eight, and some of them are screwed up because of it and talk about it later as adults. You can't send a child away at that age, and not have it take a toll. People have trouble attaching after that. And I wouldn't trust teenage kids away at school. I want to be around to see what they're up to, and to share my values with them.”
“It sounds like a huge sacrifice to me,” he said sternly.
