“You're not working right now. You don't need to starve.”
“I'm not starving. I'm just not hungry. It's the heat.”
“You didn't have breakfast either.” Candy looked annoyed, and got up to make some calls on her cell phone. She didn't like anyone keeping track of what she ate, or didn't. It was a sensitive subject with her, and had been for years. She even got mad at their mom whenever she used to mention it. She had started starving at seventeen, when her modeling career took off.
They went to see Annie at the hospital at two, and when they got there, she was asleep. She stirred when she heard them walk into the room.
“It's us,” Sabrina said, smiling at her, which Annie couldn't see, but she could hear the excitement in her voice.
“I know it's you. I can smell your perfume, and I can hear the bracelets on Candy's arm.” Sabrina didn't comment, but in subtle ways Annie was already instinctively adjusting to her disability, which seemed like a good thing, if you could call it that. Her hearing and other senses seemed to be getting more acute.
“We have a surprise for you,” Candy chortled with a grin.
“That's nice,” Annie said, looking glum. “Lately the surprises haven't been so good.” They would all agree with her on that. But they were hoping that hearing about the house would cheer her up. “What have you been up to?”
“We just got back from the city,” Sabrina explained. “We went right after Tammy left. She said to give you a kiss. So, kiss.” Annie smiled, and waited for the rest. “We went to see a house.”
“A house?” She looked suddenly panicked. “Is Dad moving to the city?” She didn't want everything to change so soon. She loved her parents' house, and staying there when she came to visit. She didn't want him to sell it, and hoped he wouldn't.
“Of course not,” Sabrina went on. “We went to look at a house for us.”
“Are you and Chris getting married, or moving in together?” She looked confused, and Sabrina laughed. Finding the perfect house for them on the first shot had been a major victory.
“Nope. Not now anyway. This is a house for you, me, and Candy. For a year, while you get organized, and… well… used to things.” She tried to be delicate about it. “And a year from now, you can figure out what you want to do. You can get rid of us if you want. Or we can rent another place. This one's only available for a year anyway. It's really cute. On East Eighty-fourth Street.”
“What am I going to do there?” She looked mournful and hopeless as she said it.
“Go to school, maybe. Whatever you need to do this year to get independent.” Sabrina was trying to be upbeat about the changes she'd have to make. They weren't even fully aware of what they were yet. They were waiting for her treatment plan for when she'd be released.
“I was independent, up to a week ago. Now I'm going to be like a two-year-old, if that.”
“No, you're not. We want to be your roommates, Annie, not your jailers. You can come and go as you please.”
“And how do you think I'm going to do that? With a white stick?” she said, as tears filled her eyes. “I don't know how to use one.” As she said it, all three of them thought of the people they had seen trying to cross the street in heavy traffic, and needing assistance. “I'd rather be dead. Maybe I'll just stay at Dad's.” It sounded like the kiss of death to them. Even their dad would be going back to work in a few weeks, and she'd be alone at the house all day, unable to escape.
“You'll die of boredom out here. You'll be much better off in the city, with us.” She could at least take cabs to get around.
“No, I won't. I'll be a burden to you. Forever probably. Why don't you just put me in an institution somewhere and forget me?”
“I might have liked that when I was fifteen and you were seven. But I think it's a little late for that. Come on, Annie. Let's try and make the best of this. It would be fun living together. Candy is going to rent the penthouse for a year, and I'll get out of my lease. And Tammy can come and visit for long weekends. Look at the opportunity. We keep talking about how much we miss being together. This is probably the only chance we'll ever have to do it. For a year. One year. And then we all grow up forever.”
Annie shook her head as she lay in the hospital bed, looking morbid. “I want to go back to Italy. I've been trying to get hold of Charlie. He can stay with me at my place. I don't want to live here.”
“You don't want to be in Florence on your own,” Sabrina tried to reason with her. This truly was an idea that would work, if Annie would only agree to do it. And Charlie was history. She just didn't know it, and Sabrina didn't want to be the one to tell her. Annie had been trying all morning to reach him on his cell phone. She mentioned it to Sabrina, and her oldest sister couldn't help wondering if he had turned off his cell gether?” She looked confused, and Sabrina laughed. Finding the perfect house for them on the first shot had been a major victory.
“Nope. Not now anyway. This is a house for you, me, and Candy. For a year, while you get organized, and… well… used to things.” She tried to be delicate about it. “And a year from now, you can figure out what you want to do. You can get rid of us if you want. Or we can rent another place. This one's only available for a year anyway. It's really cute. On East Eighty-fourth Street.”
“What am I going to do there?” She looked mournful and hopeless as she said it.
“Go to school, maybe. Whatever you need to do this year to get independent.” Sabrina was trying to be upbeat about the changes she'd have to make. They weren't even fully aware of what they were yet. They were waiting for her treatment plan for when she'd be released.
“I was independent, up to a week ago. Now I'm going to be like a two-year-old, if that.”
“No, you're not. We want to be your roommates, Annie, not your jailers. You can come and go as you please.”
“And how do you think I'm going to do that? With a white stick?” she said, as tears filled her eyes. “I don't know how to use one.” As she said it, all three of them thought of the people they had seen trying to cross the street in heavy traffic, and needing assistance. “I'd rather be dead. Maybe I'll just stay at Dad's.” It sounded like the kiss of death to them. Even their dad would be at her. “I can figure it out for myself.” She was crying again, and Sabrina was near tears herself, in frustration.
“Don't make it so hard for yourself. Come on, Annie. This is going to be hard enough. Let us help.”
“No!” Annie said, and rolled over in bed with her back to them. Sabrina and Candy exchanged a long look and said nothing. “And don't look at each other like that!” she shouted. Sabrina jumped when she said it.
“So now you've got eyes in the back of your head? You have your back to us. And pardon me for mentioning it, but you're blind, so how do you know what we're doing?”
“I know you!” she said angrily, and Sabrina chuckled.
“You know, you're as big a brat as you were when you were seven. You used to spy on me, you little shit, and tell Mom.”
“So did Tammy.”
“I know, but you were worse. And she always believed you, even when you lied.”
She still had her back to them, but Sabrina could hear her laughing in her bed.
“So are you still going to be a brat, or are you going to be reasonable? Candy and I found a great house, and I think you'd love it. We all would. And it would be fun to live together.”
“Nothing I do is ever going to be fun again.”
“I doubt that,” Sabrina said sternly. She couldn't wait to hear from the shrink. Annie needed one badly. They all did. And maybe she could tell them how to deal with Annie. “I'm signing the lease tomorrow night. And if we lose this house because you're having a tantrum, I'll be really pissed.” She had a right to more than a tantrum, but Sabrina figured that maybe being firm with her would work best. All she wanted to do was put her arms around her and hold her, but maybe Annie needed something stronger than that. Hard as it was to do, they couldn't let her wallow in feeling sorry for herself.
“I'll think about it,” was all Annie would say, and she wouldn't turn around to face them. “Go away. Leave me alone.”
“Do you mean that?” Sabrina looked shocked, and Candy hadn't said a word. She had always hated Annie's temper. For her, Annie was the big sister who had given her a hard time when she was growing up. They were five years apart.
“Yes,” Annie said sadly. She hated the world.
