Summer’s End

“Bull! If you don’t call him yourself, I’m going to give him your number. It’s time you did something about that mountain of masterpieces you keep standing around in your studio, facing the wall. That’s a crime, Deanna. It just isn’t right. Jesus, when you think of the garbage I painted and busted my ass to sell-”

“It wasn’t garbage.” Deanna looked kindly at her. But they both knew it hadn’t been very good. Kim was much better at planning campaigns, headlines, and layouts than she had been at her art.

“It was garbage, and I don’t even care anymore. I like what I do. But what about you?”

“I like what I do, too.”

“And what’s that?” Kimberly was becoming frustrated now, and her voice betrayed her feelings. It always wound up that way when they talked about Deanna’s work. “What do you do?”

“You know what I do. I paint, I take care of Marc and Pilar, I run the house. I keep busy.”

“Yes, taking care of everyone else. What about you? Wouldn’t it do something for you to see your work shown in a gallery, hung somewhere other than your husband’s office?”

“It doesn’t matter where they’re hung.” She didn’t dare tell Kim that they weren’t even there anymore. Marc had hired a new decorator six months before, who had declared her works “weak and depressing” and taken them all down. Marc had brought the canvases home, including a small portrait of Pilar, which now hung in the hall. “What matters to me is painting it, not showing it.”

“That’s like playing a violin with no strings for chrissake. It doesn’t make sense.”

“It does to me.” She was gentle but firm, and Kim shook her head as they got out of the car.

“Well, I think you’re crazy, but I love you anyway.” Deanna smiled as they walked back inside the hotel.

The rest of their stay went by too quickly. They browsed in the shops, had dinner once more at the Pine Inn. On Sunday afternoon Deanna took one more walk on the beach. She knew where he lived now, knew it when she glimpsed the house hidden behind the trees. She knew how near she was to the Wyeth. She walked on. She did not see him again, and she was annoyed at herself for even wondering if he’d be on the beach. Why should he be? And what would she say if he were? Thank him for not letting Kimberly know they had met? So what? What did it matter? She knew she’d never see him again.

5

When the phone rang, she was already in her studio, sitting back from the canvas trying to evaluate her morning’s work. It was a bowl of tulips dropping their petals on a mahogany table, against a background of blue sky, glimpsed through an open window.

“Deanna?” She was stunned to hear his voice.

“Ben? How did you get my number?” She felt a warm blush rise to her cheeks and was instantly angry at herself for the way she felt. “Kim?”

“Of course. She said that if I didn’t show your work, she’d sabotage our account.”

“She didn’t!” The blush deepened as she laughed.

“No. She just said that you were very good. Tell you what, I’ll trade you my Wyeth for one of yours.”

“You’re crazy. And so is Kim!”

“Why don’t you let me judge for myself? Do you suppose I could come by around noon?”

“Today? Now?” She glanced at the clock and shook her head. It was already after eleven. “No!”

“I know. You’re not ready. Artists never are.” The voice was as gentle as it had been on the beach.

She stared into the phone. “Really. I can’t.” It was almost a whisper.

“Tomorrow?” Not pushy, but firm.

“Ben, really… it’s not that. I…” She faltered and heard his laugh.

“Please. I’d really love to see your work.”

“Why?” She instantly felt stupid for the question.

“Because I like you. And I’d like to see your work. It’s as simple as that. Doesn’t that make sense?”

“More or less.” She didn’t know what more to say.

“Are you busy for lunch?”

“No, I’m not.” She sighed sadly again.

“Don’t sound so forlorn. I promise not to throw darts at your canvases. Honest. Trust me.”

Oddly, she did. She trusted him. It was something about the way he spoke, and the look she remembered in his eyes. “I think I do. All right then. Noon.”

No one going to the guillotine had ever spoken as resolutely. Ben Thompson smiled to himself as he hung up.

He was there promptly at noon. With a bag of French rolls, a sizable wedge of Brie, and half a dozen peaches, as well as a bottle of white wine.

“Will this do?” he asked as he spread his riches out on her desk.

“Very nicely. But you really shouldn’t have come.” She looked dismayed as she eyed him over the table. She was wearing jeans and a paint-splattered shirt, her hair tied in a loosely woven knot. “I really hate being put on the spot.” Her expression was troubled as she watched him, and for a moment he stopped arranging the fruit.

“You’re not on the spot, Deanna. I really did want to see your work. But it doesn’t matter a damn what I think. Kim says you’re good. You know you’re good. You told me on the beach that painting was your life. No one can ever play with that. I wouldn’t try to.” He paused, then went on, more softly, “You saw some of the pieces I love in the cottage in Carmel. That’s something I care about. This is something you care about. If you like my Wyeth, it makes me happy, but if you don’t it doesn’t change a bit of its beauty for me. Nothing I see will change what you do, or how much it matters. No one can ever touch that.”

She nodded silently, then slowly walked toward the wall where twenty paintings were propped, hidden and ignored. One by one, she turned them around, saying nothing and looking only at the oils as she turned them. She did not look at him until at last he said, “Stop.” She glanced up in surprise and saw him leaning against her desk with a look in his eyes she didn’t understand.

“Did you feel anything when you saw the Wyeth?” He was searching her face and holding her eyes.

She nodded. “I felt a great deal.”

“What?”

She smiled. “First, surprise, to realize that I was in your house. But then, a kind of awe, a joy at seeing the painting. I felt pulled by the woman, as though she were someone I knew. I felt everything I think Wyeth wanted to tell me. For a moment, I felt spellbound by his words.”

“As I do by yours. Do you have any idea how much you’ve put in those paintings, or how really beautiful they are? Do you know what it means to be reached out to and pulled at time after time after time, as you turn them around? They’re incredible, Deanna. Don’t you know how good they are?” He was smiling at her. She felt her heart pound in her chest.

“I love them. But that’s because they’re mine.” She was glowing now. He had given her the ultimate gift, and she knew he meant every word. It had been so long since anyone had seen what she painted-and cared.

“They’re not only yours. They are you.” He walked closer to one of the canvases and silently stared. It was a painting of a young girl leaning over her bath-Pilar.

“That one is my daughter.” She was enjoying it now. She wanted to share more.

“It’s a beautiful piece of work. Show me more.”

She showed him all of them. When it was over, she almost crowed with pleasure. He liked them, he loved them! He understood her work. She wanted to throw her arms around his neck and laugh.

He was opening the bottle of wine. “You realize what this means, don’t you?”

“What?” She was suddenly wary, but not very.

“That I will hound you until you sign with the gallery. How about that?”

She smiled broadly at him, but she shook her head. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“That’s not for me.” And Marc would have a fit. He would think it commercial and vulgar-though the Thompson gallery had a reputation for anything but vulgarity, and Ben’s family had been reputable in the art world for years.