her or how she excited him. And a minute later, they wound up back in his bedroom. And they didn't look at the clock again until long after midnight.
“Maybe I should just move my things in here,” she said sleepily, with a deep, sexy voice that drove him wild, and he smiled, thinking of what she had done to him and how much he liked it.
“I'm sure Mrs. Collins would be glad to help us. I'll just tell her I'm offering you my cabin for the rest of the week.” They both laughed.
“Or you could move in with us.”
“That would be nice,” he approved, and she started making love to him again, as he moaned and writhed beneath her tongue and fingers. “Oh, God… that is nice, Tanny…” They lay together until the dawn, and then she knew she had to get up before someone saw her. But she hated to leave him.
“I don't want you to,” he said sadly, watching her dress after he showered with her in his tiny bathroom. And that had almost started everything again, but this time he knew they couldn't. “What am I going to do when you go?” he asked, looking like a lost child, and she smiled at him. She wanted so badly to be with him. And she knew he was referring to Sunday when she had to leave for L.A., to continue fighting her battles.
“Why don't you come with me?” she asked, knowing it was a wild idea, but she didn't want to leave him either. But he was far wiser than she was.
“And how long would that last? What would I do? Answer the phone? Carry in flowers for you? Answer fan mail? Be your bodyguard? You'd hate me after a little bit, and so would I. No, Tanny,” he said sadly, “I don't belong there.”
“Neither do I,” she said unhappily, not sure how to resolve the problem.
“But it's your life, not mine. You'd hate me after a while.” He was smart. That was exactly what had happened to Bobby Joe. He had truly detested her by the time he went back to Texas. “I don't want to do that.”
“So what happens to us?” she asked, looking panicked.
“I don't know. You tell me. I could come to visit once in a while, for as long as you could stand it, or I could. You could come back here. You could get yourself a place here, it might do you good. A place to come to and get sane again after the kind of lunacy we saw the other night. If you lived here, it'd be different. You could live here part of the year, Tan… and I'd be here waiting for you. If I had a life with you here, going to LA. with you would make some kind of sense. I'll do anything you want, stay, let go, disappear, wait for you, I just don't want to go to L.A., give up my whole life, and watch you come to hate me.”
“I could never do that,” she said honestly. She hadn't hated Bobby Joe either.
“I'd hate myself and you'd know that. Come back here,” he said, winding his arms around her, and bringing her so close to him that she couldn't breathe as he kissed her. “I'll be here, waiting for you. Forever, if you want.”
“Will you come to L.A. sometimes, really?” She was worried about him now. What if she never saw him again? If he forgot her the moment she was gone, if he moved on to another ranch, another town, another singer? She was every bit as frightened as he was.
“Sure I will,” he reassured her about coming to L.A. “As long as it's just for a visit. What about your living here, at least part-time?”
“I've never thought about anything like that,” she said honestly, giving it some thought. “I kind of like it.”
“I think you'd love it.”
“If I bought a ranch, would you run it for me?”
“Yeah,” he said, thinking about it, as they sat on his bed, talking. “But I don't want to be your employee.”
“What does that mean?” she asked, looking puzzled.
“It means I don't want you to pay me,” he said quietly, and she could see in his eyes he meant it.
“How are you going to live then?” She was worried about him, and she wanted to work it out with him. There had to be a way they could do it.
“I've got some money saved up. I haven't worked all these years for nothing. I could buy some horses, do some breeding, do some extra work here on the ranch. I could work for room and board at your place. We could work it out,” he said, pulling her close to him again. “I'm not worried about it.” He was feeling better again, he loved her so much, he knew he could do anything with her, as long as they were on equal terms, just so he didn't wind up feeling like one of her employees. But she liked his ideas, and she was thinking about it while he kissed her.
“I don't want to leave you,” she said again. He knew she meant that week and not that morning.
“Then don't,” he said hoarsely, wanting to make love to her again. He had never had another relationship like this one. It challenged him to his very soul, and physically she drove him crazy. “Don't go.”
“I have to. I've got a bunch of engagements for the next few weeks, and I have to cut a record.” And then she thought of the concert tour she'd agreed to. She told him about it while she got dressed, and he listened. “Gordon, would you come with me?” It would mean exposing him to the press, but sooner or later they both knew that would happen, just so long as they were ready for it.
“I'd come if you want me to,” he said, thinking. In a funny way, it appealed to him, in another way, it didn't. He wanted to be with her, and to protect her from all the garbage she went through. But the idea of being part of all that really scared him. But he knew that if he was going to be with her, he had to at least share in her world some of the time. He couldn't expect her to spend all her time hiding with him in Wyoming. “I'd do it,” he said, and she kissed him. “I don't know what we're going to do, Tan. Your life is pretty complicated, but we'll work it out if we have to.” And then he asked her an odd question.
“What about kids? How come you never had one?” He had been wondering about that since he met her. She was such a warm, caring person that it seemed strange to him she'd never had children.
“The time was never right. I was always married to the wrong person at the wrong time, being pushed around by managers and agents. They probably would have killed me if I'd gotten pregnant.” He nodded, it made sense to him, but he was sorry for her. He thought she would have been a good mother.
“Would you still want one?” he asked, looking at her thoughtfully, and she was startled by his question.
“I don't know,” she said honestly, “I did a few years ago.” She had tried to talk Tony into it, but he hadn't wanted more kids, and he said it was too much trouble. “My doctor thought it might take some real effort at my age.” But just his asking about it made her think about it again, and she was surprised to realize, the idea was appealing. And then she laughed, he was certainly turning her life around. He was trying to talk her into moving to Wyoming, living on a ranch, and having a baby. She said as much to him and he laughed. “Talk about a change of lifestyle. I feel like Heidi.” And then she looked at him honestly. “I might want a kid, would it matter if I didn't?”
“Whatever you want,” he said, leaning over to kiss her again and starting to take her clothes off, but they both knew she had to leave before the ranch came alive and everyone started working. “I just think it would be great to have a child with you,” he said. He hadn't felt that way in years. He hadn't felt any of this, and then she told him about Zoe's baby, and asked how he'd feel about it if Zoe left Jade to her. She had meant to ask earlier but never had the chance. But he didn't see any problem with it. As far as he was concerned, that was up to Tanya.
It took all the strength she had to tear herself away from him, and finally she was dressed, and he was in his jeans and barefoot, standing in his living room. He was holding her in his arms, and he never wanted to let her go, not for a single minute. It was six o'clock, and in three hours, they'd be riding together again, but she didn't want to leave him.
“I can't leave you for three hours,” she said with huge eyes looking into his. “How am I going to leave you on Sunday?”
“I don't know the answer to that either.” He closed his eyes and held her for a long moment. “You'd better go though.” He glanced at his watch, and he knew that any minute the wranglers would leave their cabins for the corral, and most of the employees would leave for breakfast. “Will you come back tonight?” He looked at her with worried eyes, and she smiled.
“What do you think?” She kissed him good-bye, and with a wave she was gone, hurrying up the road in the early morning sunlight, as the first fingers of sunshine streaked across the top of the mountains. She looked up as she walked along, thinking of him, and the time she had spent with him. He was everything she had ever wanted, and never expected to find. And now, suddenly here he was in Moose, Wyoming. There was a lot to think about now, to figure out, to plan, to decide. All she knew for sure was that, in a single week, a cowboy from Texas had changed her life forever.
