“Would it be too soon if…” He ventured on, feeling more awkward than a schoolboy, “… if when you got back, I…we…” He almost groaned as he looked at her, he couldn't believe this was as difficult as it was. He had been thinking of her for weeks, in ways he hadn't thought of anyone in years, and he had never thought anything would ever come of it, and now he was finding it impossible to tell her. He finally took a deep breath, took her hand in his own with an earnest expression. “Marielle…you're an extraordinary woman. I'd like very much to get to know you.” There. He had finally said it, and he felt relief sweep over him. Even if she told him she never wanted to see him again, at least she knew to some small extent how much he liked her. “I've admired you since the first moment I saw you.”
She blushed again, feeling oddly vulnerable and very young, and when she looked at him, he saw something in her eyes that almost made him feel that he was melting.
“It's amazing to think that from so much pain…from such a terrible thing… so many good things have happened.” She was very gentle as she spoke, and very grateful for the blessings she had received. And as she looked at Tom, wanting to say so many things, there was a sound at the door of the library, and her greatest blessing appeared in blue pajamas.
“What are you doing here?” she said as she grinned, and Teddy bounded into the room with a look of mischief.
“I couldn't sleep without you.” He climbed up on her lap, and looked at Tom with interest.
“Yes, you could. You were snoring when I left.”
“No, I wasn't,” he denied it, and Marielle introduced Tom to Teddy, without explaining how she knew him. “I was faking,” he announced. But he yawned happily as he said it, and leaned possessively against his mother.
“I hear you're going to Vermont,” Tom said easily. He loved children, and after all they'd been through over him, more particularly this one.
“Yeah,” Teddy said proudly, “and we're going to have cows and horses and chickens. And Mommy says I'm going to ride a pony.”
“I used to spend my summers in Vermont when I was your age.” Tom smiled at him, and then over his head at his mother. He had said enough. No matter how awkwardly put, she had clearly understood his intentions, and she liked them. A private look passed between them over the boy's head that brought them suddenly closer.
“Did you have a pony?” Teddy inquired, suddenly intrigued by him. He hadn't seen his Daddy in a long time, and sometimes he still missed him. And Mommy said he'd gone on a long, long trip. He was probably in Africa somewhere, or on a ship, and they couldn't even call him.
“I did have a pony. And I had a cow I had to milk all by myself. If I come to Vermont, I'll show you how.”
“Are you coming to Vermont?” Teddy looked seriously interested, and in point of fact, so did his mother.
“I hadn't thought of it,” he had planned on waiting till she got back, “but actually that's not a bad idea.” He glanced at Marielle inquiringly and they exchanged another smile. He was happy he had been brave enough to come over and see her before she left. Otherwise, he might have tortured himself for months, and perhaps now he wouldn't have to. “Maybe I could come up for a weekend.” He knew a lovely hotel near where they were going, and the idea suddenly held enormous appeal, as he watched the boy with his mother.
“Can you still ride a horse?” Teddy asked him seriously.
“I think so,” Tom laughed.
“If you can't,” Teddy offered generously, 'I'll teach you.” The three of them laughed, as they wandered to the kitchen to find Teddy a cookie. Haverford had gone to his room. He had to pack the last of his own things, and Marielle knew he was sorry to leave them. But he hadn't wanted to continue in Malcolm's employ, and Marielle could no longer afford him. She had accepted a small settlement from Malcolm and that was all she wanted. Teddy would inherit the rest from Malcolm when he was older.
Tom poured him a glass of milk, and Marielle found the last of the chocolate chip cookies, and in the end, the three of them sat talking and laughing and eating cookies until long, long after Teddy's bedtime. It was almost eleven when Tom finally left. He helped her put Teddy to bed, and then they both came downstairs so she could let Tom out, and he stood at the front door, looking at her for a long, hungry moment.
“Thank you for letting me spend some time with you tonight,” he said, wanting to touch her hair, and her cheek, and her neck, but it was too soon and he knew it.
“I'm glad you came by.” She hadn't expected ever to see him again, and she had regretted it. Now his visit had opened a whole new horizon. She still missed John Taylor, but she knew she had made the right decision, for his sake. And spending some time with Tom was like an unexpected gift and she was grateful. “I always wanted to tell you how much I admired you in court,” she said softly, but he didn't want her thinking of that anymore. He only wanted her to think of Vermont, and happy things, and summers in the country with Teddy. And when she came back for Malcolm's trial, he already knew he was going to be there to help her. He didn't want her to go through it alone. He didn't want her to go through anything difficult again, only happiness and peaceful things, if he could do anything about it.
“Don't think of that,” he said gently. He couldn't stop himself from reaching a hand out to her and bringing her closer. “Don't think of it anymore.” The past was over. Hers, as well as his own. There was too much pain there, and he wanted to close those doors firmly behind them. “Just think °f Teddy and his pony.” They both smiled and then his eyes grew serious as they stood very close to each other. “I'll miss you when you're in Vermont.” The crazy thing was he meant it. They scarcely knew each other, and yet they did. He knew her better than most of his closest friends, better in some ways than he'd known any of the women he'd gone out with. And he loved everything he knew about her.
“I'll miss you too,” she smiled at him, feeling hope for the first time in years, and totally at ease with him. “We'll call you on our party line.”
“I'll call you first,” he whispered. He had already written down the number. “Drive carefully.” He pulled her closer to him then and she closed her eyes when he kissed her. “Good night, Marielle…see you soon…” He looked at her for a last time as he stood in the doorway, and then he was gone, and she closed the door, thinking of how odd life was. You never knew what was going to happen. She had thought so many things that had been untrue in her lifetime…that she and Charles would be together forever, that their life would be happy and exciting and full of children…and that Malcolm would cherish and protect her forever…that nothing terrible would ever happen to them because he was so decent and so solid…and then she had feared that Teddy would never come back to her again. She had been wrong about everything, and especially, thank God, about Teddy. He was home again. He was all that truly mattered. He was the shining star of hope that she had survived for. But now, there was something more than that. The others had gone. The nightmares were past. The dreams had vanished in the mists. And she and Teddy were alone, with their bad memories and their good ones, and their whole lives before them. The sorrows would strengthen them, she knew. And the time in Vermont would do them good…and when they came home, they would begin a whole new life…and Tom Armour would be waiting for them, with all the decency and kindness he had to offer. And maybe their dreams would come true, and maybe they wouldn't. She hoped they would, and so did he, as he walked home to his apartment. She hoped the nightmares would never come again, to either of them. She hoped many things, and most of them about Teddy.
In the morning, when they left, Haverford stood there waving at them, as she and Teddy drove off in Malcolm's old Buick. Haverford had known her for all the years she had been married to-Malcolm, and Teddy since he was born. And now they were gone, to whatever life held for them. He silently locked the door, thinking of the boy, and slipped the key into an envelope to send to the lawyers. The house was empty, the family was gone. And as he walked down the steps and hailed a cab, he felt hopeful for them, and that cheered him. And at that exact moment, Marielle was driving across the bridge, and Tom Armour was on his way to court, to a fresh trial, thinking of her and Teddy.
Danielle Steel
