then you could do the books. What do you think, Cass?”
She thought he was a nice boy. But she didn't want to do his books. “I want to do engineering,” she said, and he looked even more confused. She was certainly full of surprises, but she always had been. At least she hadn't told him she wanted to be Amelia Earhart. She hadn't said a word about flying, only about school, and now about engineering. But that was a little crazy too. He wasn't sure what to tell his father.
“What'll you do with an engineering degree, Cass?” Understandably, he sounded puzzled.
“I don't know yet.”
“Sounds like you have some thinking to do.” He sat down at the kitchen table, and pulled her into the chair next to his. He was holding her hand, and trying to excite her about their future. “We could get married, and you could still go to school.”
“Until I get pregnant. And how long would that be?” He blushed at her openness, and he clearly didn't want to discuss it with her any further. “I'd probably never finish the first year. And then I'd wind up like Colleen, always talking about going back to school, and too busy having babies.”
“We don't have to have as many as they do. My parents only had two.” He still sounded hopeful.
“That's two more than I want for a long time. Bobby, I just can't… not now… not yet. It wouldn't be fair to you. I'd always be thinking about what I'd missed, or what I wished I had done. I can't do that, to either of us.”
“Does flying have anything to do with any of this?” he asked suspiciously, but she shook her head. There was no way she could tell him all that she had been doing. And that was a problem too. She couldn't imagine herself married to a man she couldn't confide in. Nick and she were just friends, but there was nothing she couldn't tell him.
“I'm just not ready.” She was honest with him.
“When will you be?” he asked her sadly. It was disappointing for him, and he knew his parents would be disappointed, too. His father had already offered to help him pick out and pay for the ring. But there would be no ring now.
“I don't know. Not for a long time.”
“If you'd already been to college, do you think you'd marry me?” he asked her bluntly and she was startled by the question.
“Probably.” She wouldn't have any excuse not to. It wasn't that she needed an excuse, and she did like him. She just didn't want to marry anyone. Not yet, and not now, and probably not for a long time, but suddenly Bobby looked hopeful.
“I'll wait then.”
“But that's crazy.” She was embarrassed at having encouraged him. How could she possibly know how she'd feel when she finished college?
“Look, I'm in love with you. It's not like I'm looking for a mail order bride to pick up in June. If I have to wait, I will. But I'd rather not wait the whole four years while you go to college. Maybe we could compromise in a year or two, and you could finish school once we were married. At least think about that, it doesn't have to be so terrible. And,” he blushed furiously, “we don't have to have a baby right away. There are things you can do about that,” he said, almost choking. She was so touched by what he'd said to her, and by the generosity of his feelings that she put her arms around him and kissed him.
“Thank you… for being so fair…”
“I love you,” he said honestly, still blushing from the things he had just said to her. It was the hardest thing he had ever done, proposing to her, and being rejected.
“I love you too,” she whispered, overwhelmed by guilt and tenderness and a maelstrom of emotions.
‘That's all I need to know,” he said quietly. They sat and talked in the kitchen for a long time, about other things. And when he left, he kissed her on the porch, feeling they had come to an agreement. The decision was not now, as far as he was concerned, but definitely later. And all he had to do now was convince her that sooner was better than later. It seemed a small task to him in the heat of the moment.
6
The class of 1937 walked slowly down the aisle of the auditorium of Thomas Jefferson School, the boys and the girls hand in hand, two by two, the girls carrying bouquets of daisies. The girls looked so lovely and pure, the boys so young and hopeful. Watching them, Pat was reminded of the boys who had flown in the war for him. They had been the same age, and so many of them had died, and to him they had all looked like children.
Together, the entire class sang the school song for the last time, and the girls all cried, as did their mothers. Even their fathers had tears in their eyes as the diplomas were handed out, and then suddenly, the ceremony was over and there was pandemonium. Three hundred kids had graduated and would go on to their lives, most of them to get married, and have babies. Only forty-one of a class of three hundred and fourteen were going on to college. Of the forty-one, all but one were going to the state university at Macomb, and only three of these were women. And of course one of them was Cassie, who was the only student going as far as Peoria, to attend Bradley. It would be a long haul every day, well over an hour each way in her father's old truck, but she was convinced it was worth it, just for the chance to take the aeronautics courses they offered, and some engineering.
Cassie had had to fight tooth and nail for it. Her father thought it was a waste of time, and she'd be a lot better off married to Bobby Strong. He was furious with her for turning him down, and he only backed off because Oona had insisted to him quietly that she was sure they would get married eventually, if they didn't push her. Cassie just needed time. It was Oona who had prevailed on him, and talked Pat into letting her go on to college. It certainly couldn't do any harm, and she had agreed to compromise and major in English, not engineering. If she graduated, she'd get a teaching degree, but she had still applied for a minor in aeronautics. No woman had ever applied for the course, and she had been told that she'd have to wait to see if the professor felt she was eligible for the class. But she was going to talk to him as soon as she got to school in September.
There was a reception at the high school after graduation, and of course Cassie had already gone to her senior prom with Bobby. He had seemed to accept his fate for the past six months, but the night they graduated, he talked to her about it again, just in case she'd changed her mind, and had second thoughts about college.
“No, I haven't,” she said with a gentle smile. He was so faithful to her, and so earnest, that sometimes he made her feel very guilty. But she had made a commitment to other things, and she didn't want to lose sight of them now, no matter how sweet he was, or how kind, or how guilty he made her feel, or how much her father liked him.
He left early that night, his grandmother was in town, and he had to go home and visit with her. Pat growled at Cassie after Bobby left. She was still wearing the white dress she had worn under her black gown, and she looked very pretty.
“You'll be a damn fool, Cassie O'Malley, if you let that boy slip through your fingers.”
“He won't, Dad.” It was the only thing she could think of to say to him. It sounded conceited, but it was better than saying she didn't care, which would really have enraged him. And the truth was, she did care. There were times when she thought she really loved him, especially when he kissed her.
“Don't be so sure,” her father railed at her. “No man can be expected to wait forever. But maybe once you have your teaching degree, you won't care. Maybe you have it in mind to become an old maid schoolteacher. Now there's something to wish for.” He was still annoyed with her about this business of going to college. Instead of being proud of her, as the other two girls' fathers were, he thought it was foolish. But Nick was pleased for her that she was going. He had realized long since how bright she was, and how capable, and it didn't seem fair, even to him, to just push her into getting married and having babies. He was relieved too that she hadn't decided to marry Bobby Strong fresh out of school. That would have changed everything, and he couldn't have borne it. He knew that eventually things would have to change, but at least for now their sacred Saturdays were safe, and they would still have their precious hours of flying.
Cassie sat by the radio that night after everyone had “left. She had been dying to do that all afternoon, but she knew how much it would have annoyed her father. Amelia Earhart had taken off from Miami that afternoon, with Fred Noonan, in a twin-engine Lockheed Electra. She was flying around the world, and the expedition had been
