everything he felt. “Let me know how you are sometime.” He nodded, and she stepped up into the cockpit as he squeezed her hand for the last time. It was almost impossible this time to leave each other. Pat was watching them, sorry for both of them. But he said nothing to reproach them.
Her father and Nick were still standing there as they taxied down the runway in the huge Williams Aircraft plane she'd borrowed from Desmond. Once off the ground, she dipped her wings at them, and then they were gone. Nick stood staring at the sky for a long time, long after Pat had walked back into the airport, long after her plane had left the sky. All he could think of now was lying beside her in the moonlight. And in a way, he was relieved that the next morning, he'd be going back to the war. He couldn't stand being here now without her.
She and Billy didn't talk much on the flight back to L.A. Her mother had given them a thermos of coffee, and some fried chicken. But neither of them was hungry. Her eyes told a thousand tales, but he didn't ask her any questions for the first two hours. And then, finally, he couldn't stand the silence any longer.
“How do you feel?” She knew what he was asking her, and she sighed before she answered.
“I don't know. I'm glad I saw him. At least he knows now.” She was filled with hope and despair all at once. It was hard to explain
“How did he take it?”
“As well as he could have. He was furious at first. He said a lot of things.” She hesitated and then looked at her friend grimly. “He thinks Desmond married me as a publicity stunt to make the tour more appealing to the public.”
“Is that what you think?” he asked pointedly, and she thought about it and hesitated. She didn't want to think that. “Sounds like sour grapes to me. Maybe it's hard for Nick to admit to himself that the guy really loves you.” But did he? He was so cool to her now, so involved in the tour, and nothing else about her. What if Nick was right, she wondered. It was hard to know, hard to see clearly, especially after the night she'd spent with Nick at the old airstrip. But she knew for certain that she had to put that out of her mind now. She wanted to be fair to Desmond. And she had to think of the tour. She could work the rest out later.
But thinking of the tour reminded her again of everything she owed Desmond. Nick wasn't being fair, and she didn't believe that Desmond had other women. He was completely driven by his work, he was obsessed with it. In a way, that was their biggest problem. That, and Nick Galvin. But she was returning to LA determined to play fairly. She wouldn't allow Nick to cast a shadow of doubt on their marriage.
But from the moment she returned, Desmond did everything Nick had predicted. All he did was talk about the press, and the Pacific tour. He didn't even ask about her weekend with her parents. And in spite of herself, she found herself suddenly suspicious of Desmond's coolness, and his constant love affair with photographers and newsreels. She questioned him about some interviews he had scheduled for her, balking at the necessity of it, and the tensions between them were instantly apparent.
“What exactly is it you're complaining about?” he snapped at her nastily at midnight on the day after she got back from her parents. She was exhausted from flying a twelve-hour day, followed by five hours of meetings. And he had ended her day with a bevy of reporters and photographers to take her picture.
“I'm just tired of falling over photographers every time I get out of bed, or climb out of the bathtub. They're everywhere, and I'm tired of it. Get rid of them,” she said pointedly, with a look of irritation.
“What is it that you're objecting to?” he said angrily. ‘the fact that you're the biggest name in the news, or that you've been on the cover of
“My problem is that I'm exhausted, and I'm tired of being treated like a show dog.” Nick's warnings were affecting her. And she realized that she was suspicious of Desmond. But she really was tired of reporters.
And Desmond very clearly didn't like being challenged. He was furious with her. After another hour of arguing pointlessly, he moved into the small guest room off his study. He spent the rest of the week sleeping and working there, claiming he had too much work to do to move back into their bedroom. But she knew he was punishing her for complaining. But in a way it was a relief, and it gave her time
Eventually, things calmed down again with Desmond. Tensions were high, and their nerves were raw because of the pressures of the tour, but he apologized to her for being “testy.” He tried to explain the value of the press to her again, and she decided that Nick was wrong about him. There was a certain truth to what Desmond was saying. Publicity was an important part of the Pacific tour, and he was right, there was no point accomplishing it in silence.
Desmond was a decent man, she knew. He just had very definite opinions. And he obviously knew what he was doing.
But in spite of their peace treaty over the press, some things didn't improve. For months now, they had had no love life whatsoever. More than once, she had wondered if there was something wrong with him, or with her, but she would never have dared to ask him. All he thought about was the tour. The budding passion of their honeymoon was long since forgotten. She knew that some of that had made her more vulnerable to Nick. But she also knew that her love for Nick was something Desmond had no part in. But her lack of physical relationship with Desmond made it hard for Cassie to feel close to him, and sometimes she wished she had someone to talk to. She thought of saying something to Nancy Firestone, but ever since her marriage to Desmond, Nancy had put a very definite distance between them. It was as though she felt uncomfortable being friendly with Cassie since she was the boss's wife now. But with no friends except Billy, and Desmond so cool, it made Cassie feel lonelier than ever.
In spite of whatever tensions existed, everything moved ahead on schedule. They were within a week of the tour, and they were ready.
Photographers followed her everywhere chronicling her last week before the trip, every action, every meeting, every movement. She felt as though she was spending her entire life smiling and waving. There was no privacy, no quiet time with Desmond. Everything was the Pacific tour, and the endless preparations for it. This was her only life now.
It was also getting very exciting for all of them. Cassie could hardly sleep anymore. And they were down to five days when Glynnis called her late one afternoon, and reached her at the airfield. Cassie was surprised to hear from her, and wondered if anything was wrong.
“Hi, Glynn… what's up?”
“It's Dad,” she answered quickly. She started to cry before she could say another word, and a vise of steel clutched Cassie's heart as she listened. “He had a heart attack this morning. He's in Mercy Hospital. Mom's with him.” Oh God… no… not her father.
“Is he going to be okay?” Cassie asked her oldest sister quickly.
“They don't know yet,” Glynnis said, in tears again.
“I'll come home as soon as I can. Tonight. I'll tell Desmond and start in a little while,” Without a moment's hesitation, Cassie knew she had to be there.
“Can you do that?” Glynnis sounded worried, but she knew she had to call her. They had told her at first that her father wasn't going to make it. But in the last hour he had stabilized, and they were cautiously hopeful. “When do you leave on the tour?”
“Not for five more days. I've got time, Glynn. I'm coming… I love you… tell Dad I love him… tell him to wait… not to go… please…” She was sobbing.
“I love you too, baby,” Glynnis said, in the strong voice of her older sister, “I'll see you later. Fly safely.”
‘Tell Mom I love her too.” They were both crying as she hung up the phone, and then she went to tell Billy what had happened, and that she was going home to see her father. Without hesitating for an instant, he said he'd go with her. They were inseparable these days, like Siamese twins. They had become like each other's shadows in the six months of training. Sometimes they even seemed to know what the other was thinking.
“I'll meet you back here in half an hour. Do me a favor. Gas up the Phaeton. I'm going to go tell Desmond.” But she knew he'd understand, Cassie thought. He knew how much her father meant to her.
But when she got to his office, she was in for a surprise.
“Of course you're not going,” he said coldly. “You've got five days of training and briefings left, two press conferences, and we have to plot the final course according to the weather.”
“I'll be back in two days,” she said quietly. She couldn't believe he was arguing with her about something this important.
