this morning and said if you ^didn't diwy_up^ Hawthorne's widow was going to contest it.' She smiled. 'Yes, Ossie tried to say something like that.' FR1;WHERE THERE'S A WILL 45 'Ossie? Good name for him.' 'I think so. I'm glad you like it.' 'I do. But Ossie was deceiving you. The real point of the thing is much sharper than a court contest and it's apt to hurt more.' 'Dear me. That's alarming. What is it?' I shook my head. 'I'm not supposed to tell you. But this room is the coolest place I've been in today. I could give you a piece of marvelous advice if I felt like it. What are those things with four legs, chairs?' A breath of a laugh came out of her. 'Do sit down, Mr.--------' 'Goodwin. Archie.' 'Do sit down.' She moved. It would have been ^ a pleasure to watch her move if I hadn't been sore at her. She wasn't as graceful or overwhelming as April Hawthorne, but her motion was just as easy, and more straightforward, without any tricks. She was pushing a button. 'What kind of a drink would you like?' 'I could use a glass of milk, thank you.' I selected a chair two paces away from the one she was taking. The maid entered, and was instructed to bring a glass of milk and a bottle of Borrand water. Miss Karn refused the cigarette I offered. When I had mine lit she remarked: 'You have alarmed me, you know. Terribly.' 46 WHERE THERE'S A WILL She sounded amused. 'Will the milk make you feel like surrendering the advice?' 'I feel like it already.' I met her eyes and went on meeting them. 'I advise you not to see Nero .Wolfe. I'm being disloyal, of course, but I'm naturally treacherous anyhow, and besides, I don't like the way they're ganging up on you. I felt that way already, even before I saw you? but now ...' I waved a hand. 'Now treachery is sweet.' 'It could be.' 'That's very nice of you. Why do you advise me not to see Nero Wolfe?' 'Because I know the kind of trap he's setting. What you should do is get a lawyer, a good one, and let Wolfe deal with him.' She made a face. 'I don't like lawyers. I know too much about them--I worked for a law firm for three years.' 'You'll have to hire a lawyer if there's a contest.'
'I suppose I will. But you said I am threatened by something more dangerous than a contest. That trap Nero Wolfe is setting. What's that like?' I grinned at her and shook my head. The maid came with the liquids, and after Miss Karn's Borrand water was poured and iced I took a sip of roy milk. It was a little too cold, and I wrapped the r WHERE THERE'S A WILL 47 t glass with my palms, grinned again, and said, 'It certainly is nice and cool here. I'm enjoying myself. Are you?' 'No,' she said, with a sudden and surprising sharpness in her tone, 'I am not enjoying myself. A good friend of mine has died--just three days ago. Mr. Noel Hawthorne. Another man whom I regarded as my frSnd to a certain extent--at least not an enemy--is acting abominably. Mr. Glenn Prescott. He came here last evening and informed me of the terms of the will with a manner and tone that were inexcusable. Now he is openly conspiring with Mr. Hawthorne's family against me. He sent that Stauffer here to threaten me. He sent you here with your childish babble about traps and treachery. Bah! Is your milk all right?' 'Yes. Excuse me, but like hell you're not enjoying yourself. Shall we discuss it seriously?'* 'I have no desire to discuss it at all. The one sensible thing you've said was that it has been handled incompetently. To send Ossie here to threaten me! I can make him stammer by looking at him! Incidentally, I can't do that with you.' - ' 'No, but you came close to it.' I grinned at her. 'Also you have an idea that another twenty minutes will do the trick; that's why you invited me to sit down. You may be right, but I can assure you I'm no Ossie. The fact is, I'm just killing time. FR1;48 WHERE THERE'S A WILL My boss asked me to bring you to his house, down on 3 5th Street, at ten to six, but I'd prefer not to get you there until ten after. He needs a lesson about what to expect and what not to expect.' I glanced at my wrist. 'We ought to be leaving fairly soon, at that. I had to park over east of Third Avenue.'
'I told you, Mr. Goodwin, that I'm not enjoying myself. I see you have finished your milk.' 'No more, thank you. So you don't intend to come?' 'Certainly not.' 'What are you going to do, just refuse to say boo till you're served with a summons and complaint?'
'I'm not refusing to say boo.' Her voice got sharp again. 'I tell you, what I resent is the way they've gone about it. I know that nothing rational could be expected of Mrs. Hawthorne, but couldn't Mrs. Dunn have come to see me, or asked me to come to see her, and talk it over? Couldn't she have said simply that they regarded it as unjust and asked me to consider an adjustment? Couldn't she have condescended to say that she and her sisters felt they had a natural right to some share in their brother's estate?' 'But they didn't. That wasn't it. It's Daisy that's raising hell.' WHERE THERE'S A WILL 49 'I don't believe it. I think Glenn Prescott started it, and they helped him prevail upon Mrs. Hawthorne. They think the way to do it is to browbeat me. First they sent that Stauffer here, and then they hired a detective, Nero Wolfe, whose specialty is catching murderers. You might think I was a murderer myself. It won't work. They may be perfectly correct in thinking they should have a slice of Noel's--Mr. Hawthorne's wealth, but if they get it now it will be because a court awards it to them.' 'Okay,' I agreed. 'I'm with you. Absolutely. They're a bunch of wolverines, Prescott is a twofaced shyster, and Stauffer is Ossie. But may I ask you a hypothetical question?' 'It would take more than a hypothetical question to make me budge, Mr. Goodwin.' ? -_----s-- 'I'll ask it anyway. It'll be good exercise for us and pass the time. Let's say, of course just as a hypothesis, that Nero Wolfe is ruthless, unscrupulous, and quite cunning; that you get him sore by refusing even to go and discuss it with him; that he's out to do you; that he gets the bright idea of basing the attack on the will, not on the ground that it's unfair, but on the ground that it's phony; that he is able--' '^ ^. >--/- <? 'So that's it.' Miss Karn*s eyes were going through me. 'That's the new threat, is it? It's no FR1;50 WHERE THERE'S A WILL better than the other one, not even as good. Didn't Mr. Prescott himself draw the will? Wasn't it in his possession?'* 'Sure it was. That's the point. It's your own idea that he's conspiring against you, isn't it? Since he drew the will and had it in his possession, isn't he in an ideal position to support White's contention that there has been a substitution and the will's a phony?' 'No. He couldn't. He is on record as accepting the will's authenticity.' 'On record with who? Wolfe and the Hawthornes. His fellow conspirators.' 'But--' She chopped it off. Her eyes had narrowed and she sat motionless. In a moment she said slowly, 'Mr. Prescott wouldn't do that. After all, he is an attorney of high standing and reputation--'
'Your opinion of him seems to be going up.' 'My opinion of him is unimportant. But another thing, if he intended to play as dirty a trick as that, he could simply have not produced it. He could have destroyed it.' 'He had no such intention. The hypothesis is that Wolfe gets the idea and sells it to them. Didn't I say it was hypothetical?' 'Yes. You said so.' Her eyes got narrower. 'Is WHERE THERE'S A WILL 51 it? Or is this what Nero 'Wolfe has got ready for me?' I lifted the shoulders. 'You'll have to ask him, Miss Karn. All I know is this, he wants you to come and discuss it with him. He has engaged to try to persuade you to agree to some sort of a settlement. I've never known anybody to make bingo by refusing to talk with Wolfe when he wants to talk.' She looked through me for another ten seconds, and then abruptly got up without bothering to excuse herself, and left the room. I arose too and strolled over to the archway and stood there with an ear cocked, thinking I might hear some telephoning or something, but the apartment was too big or too soundproofed, and I drew a blank. Fifteen minutes passed, and I had about decided on a tour of exploration, when the sound of footsteps came, and I got back to the middle of the room by the time she entered. She had changed to a blue linen thing, with a flowing wrap of the same, and had on a kind of a hat. She announced, merely imparting information: 'I'm not going because I'm scared. Not that that matters to you. Your job was to get me there. Come on.' There was no question but that she got the gist of things with a minimum of effort and time. FR1;52 WHERE THERE'S A WILL Down on the sidewalk I discovered that she was nice to walk with. At that juncture of affairs she had about as much use for me as a robin has for a black snake, but since we were walking together she let it be a partnership instead of a game of tag. Most girls, walking along a busy sidewalk with you, are either clingers, divers, or laggers, and I don't know which is worst. There was no conversation, even after we got to the roadster and climbed in and nosed it into the traffic. That suited me. The gambit I had used to pry her loose had been impromptu. It wasn't going to get me any medal from the boss, and I had to figure out a way of conveying to him its purely hypothetical nature in a diplomatic manner. Not that he would object to being portrayed as ruthless, unscrupulous and cunning, but he certainly wouldn't be enthusiastic about my giving her the impression that he was a boob. The thing to do was to deposit her in the front room and have a few words alone with him before introducing her. It would have been better to have the few words up in the plant rooms, but that was out because it was 6:15' when we arrived and he would already be back down in the office, waiting for us. My scheme didn't pan out. Three cars parked at the curb warned me to expect competition. I opened the door with my key and ushered her into FR1;WHERE THERE^S A WILL 53 the hall, and there was Fritz Brenner approaching to head us off. 'Company?' I asked him. He nodded. 'The ladies and gentlemen who were here this afternoon. They have returned. They arrived at three minutes to six.' 'You don't say.' I addressed Miss Karn: 'This is unexpected and unfortunate. I guess you'll have to wait a few minutes.' I moved toward the door to the front room. 'In here it won't be as cool as up at your place--' She was moving too, and so swiftly that I couldn't head her
