Funny Money

“They're hot,” the detective said.

“Did you jam him?”

“About twenty minutes ago,” Davis said. “You should have seen Archie squawk.”

It had been one of the saddest weeks of Valentine's life, yet he found himself smiling. Selling bootleg cigarettes in New Jersey is a felony: Archie Tanner would do hard time and lose his casino license. Valentine couldn't help himself, and he pinched Davis on the cheek.

“You are one smart kid,” he told him.

42

Three Weeks Later

Valentine stood before a full-length mirror, grimacing.

The dressing room's concrete walls shook. Outside, the Centroplex's standing-room-only crowd was getting ugly. They were not used to waiting, and Valentine could hear calls for blood, the faithful stomping their feet. His own feet felt frozen to the floor.

The dressing room door opened and shut. Kat edged up beside him, looking worried.

“Tony, you okay?”

No, he wasn't okay, he was light years from okay, only that didn't matter. He'd said yes, signed the stupid contracts, let them dress him up like a clown. Ha, ha, only now it didn't seem so goddamn funny.

“Tony, please say something.”

Valentine kept staring at himself. He did not look right, or even real, his hair done up in a ridiculous bouffant like an Elvis impersonator, his costume a canary yellow sports jacket, yellow pants, and a shimmering yellow tie. First there was Donny the grape, now Tony the banana.

“Tony?”

The dressing room door opened. Donny and Vixen popped their heads in. They were both freaking out.

“They're rioting out there,” Donny said.

“Come on Tony,” Vixen said, “you can do it.”

Valentine stared at his ridiculous image in the mirror.

“It's just opening-night jitters,” Kat reassured them. “Give us another minute, okay?”

They left and the dressing room fell silent. Kat got close enough so they were able to share the mirror's reflection. Her eyes met his in the glass.

“You don't have to do this,” she said.

“Yes, I do.”

“No, you don't.”

“But I'll let you down.”

She kissed him on the cheek. “I can live with it.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

Valentine breathed a sigh of relief. He'd been dreading the thought of stepping into the ring and making a fool of himself in front of ten thousand beer-guzzling lunatics. Dreading the notion of doing something different, for once in his life.

In the mirror he saw sadness in Kat's eyes and realized she was lying. Lying because she cared more about his feelings than her own. Lying because she loved him.

He slapped her on the ass. Kat jumped an inch off the floor.

“But I want to,” he said.

By James Swain

Published by Ballantine Books:

GRIFT SENSE

FUNNY MONEY

SUCKER BET*

*Forthcoming

“GREAT FUN—

with oddball characters, a twisted plot,

and scheming dreamers out for the big score.”

—Lansing State Journal

“Turn the pages and expect to be entertained and enlightened by Swain's deft prose and dialogue . . . . With realistic humor and creativity, Swain pilots this novel through rough waters, giving the reader one great ride.”

—The Tampa Tribune

“The same warmth, honesty, and inside expertise that made Grift Sense a memorable crime debut is back—in spades.”

—Publishers Weekly (starred review)

“An insider's view of how far people will go to get rich quick . . . There's a certain intelligence to a book that teaches you something—even something as esoteric as how to spot a casino cheat—and Swain juggles that mix of learning and adventure perfectly.”

—Houston Chronicle

“Extremely engaging . . . The suspense moves the story along quickly. . . . helped by an unusual cast of characters.”

—The Current

“A smooth narrative, credible situations, and a nervy plot make this second Tony Valentine mystery a highly recommended choice.”

—Library Journal

For an exciting look

at James Swain's

next novel,

SUCKER BET,