like hell. The lights behind us were getting closer. They were coming fast. Looked like motorcycles out for an evening cruise.
“Perhaps we could shelter in the home of a friend?” Wan asked carefully.
I stiffened. This was a sore point, and he damn well knew it. When I’d given up on my dreams, my fantasy writing, I’d walked away from friends who shared those dreams. Gamers, writers, dreamers and geeks, I’d cut them out of my life. “Oh sure,” I snapped. “I’ll just show up with bloody slippers, dogs, a talking mouse and they’ll be glad to-”
The rumble of a gunned Harley cut me off. I glanced at the rearview mirror. The motorcycles had caught up with us, about twelve from the looks of things. They’d surround us, then pass as they-
Movement caused me to glance out my side window. A big Harley, a Fat Boy, had pulled up even with the van. I glanced at the tank first, seeing the logo then noticed the rider’s leg looked… odd. I looked up and gasped.
“KATE!” Wan shouted beside me.
The rider was a rat, a giant rat, riding a Harley, and glaring at me through its ninja mask. With a big white ugly possum perched on its shoulder. The possum caught my gaze and gave me an open-mouth hiss, waving its walking stick.
I swerved wildly.
The bikes all swerved with me, moving as if we’d rehearsed it. The rumble strip complained as my tires hit and I jerked the wheel back, frantic to stay on the road.
The dogs started barking, not sure what was happening, but sure they could scare it away. The bike in front of me put on its brake light, and I hit the brake as well, instinctively.
“No, Kate.” Wan urged. “Do not stop.”
“But… ” I said.
“It will put us at their mercy, of which there is little.” Wan’s voice cut like a knife. “Go!”
Wan may be small, but that command made me jam my foot on the gas. The van leaped forward, and the biker swerved to the side, then gunned it to stay in front of me. The ninja rat driver turned his head to look at me, his eyes dark, beady, and vicious.
I swallowed hard. “How did they get so big?” I asked in a whisper.
“Magic,” Wan said.
Duh. I risked a quick glare in his direction but the little snit was back down on the seat, digging in my purse, pulling out my cell phone and the Doctor’s card. “Call 911,” I said.
“And what do I say?” Wan asked as he opened the phone.
He had a point. I gripped the steering wheel with two hands, and focused on the road. The bikes kept weaving around me, trying to drive me off the road but I hung on grimly.
Then that one in front apparently decided to clip me and I saw my chance. Big mistake on his part. No amount of magic was going to stop me. He swerved in front, and I gunned the van.
She did me proud, surging forward just enough to clip his rear fender. The rat wiped out, barely avoiding my front tire as he and his bike hit the pavement and slid off. Metal screamed and sparks flew as the bike and the rat slid away.
Bet that ninja outfit was a whole lot of protection.
But even as I gloated the one by my window moved closer. I had a brief glimpse of the possum hefting up its walking staff and-
Tiny cracks blossomed in my side window.
That started the dogs to howling, dancing in the back seat and farting for all they were worth. I swore and swerved again, pressing on the accelerator, but the rats stayed right next to the van.
I glanced down at the speedometer. Sweetmother of-Where were the police? Normally I’d have a small army of Toledo PD on my ass waiting to write me six tickets for going this fast. But noooo-never one when ya-
The possum jumped on the hood.
One little claw grabbed the windshield wiper, and his other held that damn staff. He was grinning that toothy grin again, chanting something muffled by the glass. The staff started to glow. Not good, not good. I panicked. I wanted him off the glass, off the-
I hit the washer.
Blue fluid squirted up under his chin.
One of the ninja rats lunged and caught him by the tail just before he hit the ground.
My heart was pounding in my throat. For an instant, the possum was swinging from his tail, spitting out washer fluid and pointing at me. Then with a flip, he landed on the back of the rat, and they fell away from the van, moving over a lane. They all did.
“Wan,” I said nervously. “Wan, I think… ”
Wan was talking into my phone excitedly in what sounded like Chinese.
“English, Wan!” I shouted. The possum was gesturing at the front of the van, and pointing at the-
The front tire blew.
The dogs were howling, Wan was howling, hell I was probably howling but I didn’t care, My only focus was to control the van, and my teeth rattled with the effort.
The noise was terrific, the rubber from the tire flying in every direction. Sparks fountained up from the rim and my poor old minivan was steering like a dead cow. With metal screaming, the hot smell of rubber and dog farts, the van went off the side, over the brim and down to rest at an angle off the road.
The air bag exploded, punching me in the face. The silence was eerie as it deflated and I unwrapped my hands from the wheel. “Is everyone-”
The possum shattered my window.
I covered my head instinctively as bits of safely glass exploded into the Van. I could barely hear Wan over the howling of the dogs, because I was completely focused on the rat snarls as they reached for me. Their claws sank into the arm of my bathrobe and my flesh as they tried to pull me out through the window.
Sorry boys, my fat middle-aged butt wasn’t budging. They could tug and pull all they wanted-
One of them reached in and opened the van door. A sharp blade appeared and sliced through my seat belt.
I fell out, onto the ground. The rats grabbed my robe and dragged me away from the van through the wet grass. The dogs howled and I had just enough time to pray they stayed in the van when I was dropped to the ground.
I looked up to find myself surrounded by man-sized ninja rats. The possum perched on one’s shoulder, glaring down at me. I took a deep breath, then wished I hadn’t. That possum wasn’t man-sized but he still stunk to high heaven. Ugh.
“You have offended, fat one. Now you die.”
The rats all pulled daggers.
Er. I blinked up at him, confused. What about threats, rantings, that kind of thing? I mean, really…
“She dies, you die.”
We all looked to see Wan standing on the seat of the car, backlit by the dome light of the minivan. Wisps of fog were gathered around his feet. He had his sword out and pointed at the ninjas. “Move away from her if you value your lives.”
It would have been very impressive had he been more than a few inches tall.
The rats chuckled, and even I smiled. Wan looked so earnest, standing there with his sword in his hand.
“She dies,” the possum laughed. “And then we beat the information out of you, traitor.”
Okay, not so funny now.
I leaped up, dodged one of the rats and hit the possum right on the snoot. Impressed?
The only problem is it didn’t happen that way. My middle-aged fat body wouldn’t leap up for nothing. So I did the best I could. I kicked one of the rats right on the shins. Smartly.
He dropped his knife and clutched his leg. Some ninja.
