'I've no more cuts,' he said almost harshly.
'I know. I just wanted to touch you. In the times we've been alone and you've touched me, you've never let me touch you.'
'It's not something a woman wants to do to a man.'
Rainey spread her hand over his warm skin. 'How do you know? Have you been with many women who told you that, or are you just guessing?'
'Just check the wound.' His words could not have been colder, but his skin remained warm to her touch.
She brushed her fingers over the stitches and found the skin dry. 'No more bleeding.'
When she started to wrap the leg, he took the bandage away from her and did it himself, then he pulled up his trousers.
'I thought men wore long Johns all winter.'
'Rainey, we shouldn't be having this conversation and yes, they do. Mine, however, seemed to have disappeared when I collapsed at the Baileys'.'
'Oh,' she whispered. 'Wonder who took them off.' She couldn't help but giggle at the possibility of the round little housekeeper doing it.
He buckled on his gun belt. 'Good night, Rainey,' he said as if they'd never been more than strangers. He obviously didn't see any humor in their conversation.
'Good night.' She was almost to the kitchen door when she stopped, turned around, and went back. 'Are you angry, or just being you? Sometimes, I swear, I can't tell.'
'I have no idea how to answer that question,' he snapped. 'I'd find it hard to be anything but me.'
She tried again. 'All right, answer me this. Would you like to kiss me good night, or do you prefer to just snap at me in the hope that I'll run away?'
He lowered his voice, his words meant for just her ears. 'I wouldn't mind a kiss, if you're offering. But this is hardly the time or place. You've been through a lot tonight. You probably need rest.'
Before he could continue with his list of reasons not to kiss her, she rose on her tiptoes and kissed him. He didn't respond. She might as well have been kissing a statue. So she leaned closer and tried again. If he planned to remain cold, she wasn't going to make it easy on him. Her fingers dug into his hair and pulled him down a few inches. 'We've both been through a great deal tonight,' she whispered, her lips brushing his. 'But I need to know how it is between us.'
When her lips pressed against his, he snapped inside. Like a dam breaking, he pulled her against him and kissed her soundly. The hunger she tasted in his assault no longer frightened her.
When she pulled away, she whispered, 'Travis, you remind me of a river. There's a strong current of feelings flowing in you, but I swear I have to crack the ice every time I want to get to you.'
'Are you complaining, or bragging that you can do, so easily, what no woman's ever been able to do?'
'What's that,' she whispered as she rubbed her cheek against his shoulder.
'Make me feel,' he whispered. 'Make me care.'
He lowered into the chair and pulled her on his right leg. Then he kissed her again the way he swore he'd wanted to all night.
Rainey returned his kisses, but as he drank his fill of her, she moved her hands over his shirt. She wanted to know this man. She wanted to know his body as well as he knew hers.
When she unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt, his hand closed around hers, stopping her progress.
Rainey straightened, pulling away from him. 'You're not stopping me from touching you, Travis McMurray, so there is no use in fighting.'
He laughed and pulled her hand to his lips. After kissing her palm lightly, he whispered, 'I've no desire to stop you, but now is not the time or place. I promise one day I'll spread out for you on a real bed and let you touch me wherever you like.'
She pulled her hand away and unbuttoned another button. 'Then, tonight, I'll be satisfied by feeling your heartbeat.'
He didn't stop her and she moved her fingers beneath his shirt and slid across the wall of muscles to cover his heart.
She smiled as she pressed her palm over the beating. 'I feel the center of you. I feel your heart.'
'No,' he whispered as he kissed her ear. 'You are my heart.'
They held each other until dawn. She'd drift into sleep and awaken to the feel of him moving his face against her hair, or sliding his hand gently down her body. When she stirred, he'd rock her gently against him and kiss her softly. She'd slide her hand over his heart and fall back asleep with the pounding of it against her palm.
When sunlight woke them both, he straightened and set her away from him. 'Go back to the kitchen. You'll be safer there.'
His words didn't sound harsh, but they weren't loving, as she'd hoped for. He was ordering her again. Doing his job, nothing more.
Rainey picked up the cold coffee cup and moved toward the door. She wanted to turn around and run to him. She wished she could make the gentle man who held her in the night be the man who faced her in the day.
'What is it?' He stood behind her.
Rainey didn't turn around. 'I wish… I wish…' How could she tell him? He'd had to be strong to survive. He needed to be strong for them all to be safe, but she needed to know how he felt. Just saying he loved the way she felt wasn't enough. Just telling Mike that she was his didn't matter. 'I wish,' she tried again. 'I wish I could write to you about how I feel. I wish you could write to me. Somehow in your letters I saw you clearer. I felt closer to you all the time, not just at night when we touch.'
'I've never had time for words,' he answered.
'I know. I understand, but I still need them. Maybe because I never had them, either.'
He grabbed her shoulder and turned her against a dusty table. Standing behind her he shoved with his body until the table pressed into her legs. Then, he leaned over her, bending her down until his hand touched the thick layer of dust.
Rainey fought down a cry. She knew he wouldn't hurt her, but she wanted gentleness, and, except for the shadows, Travis didn't seem to have any.
He slid his free hand around her waist and held her tightly against him as his fingers moved in the dust, printing boldly three words.
When she didn't move, he wrote them again and again and again. His hold around her was tight, his body stiff behind her, but he wrote the words over and over.
Tears filled her eyes and dripped atop the dust.
She fought his grip and twisted in his embrace. 'How many times are you going to write it?'
He stared down at her, his jaw set in granite, his body unyielding, his eyes filled with need. 'Until you believe me.'
CHAPTER 33
Travis knew if trouble found them, it would be before sunset. He'd talked with Roy and Dillon after breakfast. The three old maids seemed to think the Rangers protecting them were gentlemen callers. They were happy to be in protective custody.
Dillon said he had one Ranger follow behind Mike and Sage as they left Austin. After a few miles they were well ahead of him, so the shadow stopped and waited. No one else followed the couple. So Travis assumed Sage was safely on her way home.
Travis almost laughed. If Mike Saddler thought he had trouble with him, wait till her met her other two brothers.
Mrs. Vivian's slave was still missing, but at least they hadn't found a body. Travis considered that good news.
