Karlee didn't move. She knew something was bothering him. The night had been so perfect. Now suddenly he was cold and silent.
“Tell me,” she asked and waited, wondering if he ever would… if he could.
“No. Just get dressed.” He didn't look at her.
Karlee placed her hand on his shoulder and waited still feeling the closeness they'd had in the water.
He stammered, fighting for words as he finally faced her. “I-I can't pretend any longer with you, Karlee.”
Tears sprang to her eyes as the laughter died in her throat. Just when she thought they were getting along so well, he was going to tell her to go. Not even the shame of divorce would make him stay married to her.
“I…”
He must have waited for this darkness, not wanting to see her face when he told her good-bye. She pulled the towel tighter. She'd heard it many times before, why did the words hurt so much now.
“I've always been honest, with others, and with myself.” He got the words out one after the other.
She couldn't speak even though she wanted to yell, “Stop. Don't send me away, don't make me be nothing again, mattering to no one. I've earned my place beside you.”
“From that day you smuggled me the derringer,” his voice grew stronger, “all I could think about was how brave you were… and how much I wanted to touch you.”
“What?” She raised her head so quickly, water flew from her hair.
“It may sound strange, even distasteful to you, but I'd like to touch you.” His voice lowered. “Not through layers of material. But truly touch you.”
She couldn't answer. Somehow she'd changed trains at full speed and had no idea where she was heading.
“Of course, if you object, I'd understand and respect that.” He turned toward the lake, paying little notice that the rain had almost stopped. “I've tried to think of other things. I've told myself it is wrong. There is far more between a man and wife than touching.”
He stared into the night seeing only his falling. “There must be something warped in the way I feel. But I can find no sin in a man wanting to touch his wife. And the only dishonesty is not being straightforward about my request.”
Karlee tried to breathe, but she felt like she was underwater again. “Why?” she whispered.
Daniel shook his head. “I don't know. I've never felt this way with a woman before. It's just that whenever you're near, I want you to be just a little closer. I want to feel you and hold you. The only times I've slept solidly in years have been the nights we've been together.”
She moved beside him. “All right. Where do you want to start?”
He turned toward her and lay his hand over the knot where she'd twisted her towel together across her chest. There was no need for words. She understood.
Slowly, she let the towel fall. The thin cotton of her camisole clung to her like a second skin and seemed to glow as little more than spider web covering in the lantern light.
His fingers tugged at the ribbon, then unbuttoned the first button. His hands were warm. Hesitantly, he tugged at the second button.
Karlee closed her eyes. His hand gently spread the material away from the valley between her breasts. He moved his knuckles along the silken slope.
She shuddered, suddenly almost falling. His arms were around her instantly, bracing her against him.
“What's wrong?”
“Nothing,” she answered and straightened away from him. “Please continue.”
“You feel like warm velvet, you know.” He lifted her damp camisole and peeled the material from her breasts.
She fought to stand still and control her breathing. If he wanted to touch her, for as long as he wanted, she'd not stop him.
His hand caressed her skin with such tenderness, she sighed. He wasn't examining, or evaluating, but worshipping. His hands circled over her, learning, memorizing.
As he passed his thumb over the tip of one peak, she sighed again and swayed toward him. His hands locked around her shoulders and held her so that they barely touched. He shifted, keeping a fraction from her as she felt the warmth of him so near. He was testing himself, seeing just how much he could endure, how much he could stand of being so close. So very close.
His knee sliced between her legs and she felt the brush of wool against the inside of her thigh. She sighed and would have reached for him, but he held her arms at her side. He shifted again and the buckle of his belt pressed against her belly. She felt the hardness of him press against her where a child would grow.
“Daniel,” she whispered, but he held her from melting against him.
Slowly, as if torturing himself, he pulled her until the rise and fall of her breasts moved against his heart. The soft hair on his chest brushed her, and she lost her mind to the pleasure.
When his mouth finally covered hers, she was ready and hungry for his kiss.
His grip moved to her waist as her mouth invited him to taste deeper, and her arms lifted to his shoulders. She pressed against him, desperate for the feel of him after his heavenly torturing. She needed the pressure of his hands moving along her back and over her hips. The kiss continued. He slid her undergarments away from her slowly, enjoying each inch of flesh revealed.
The slight breeze cooled her skin, but his hands moved over her, warming her with his exploration. As she whispered her pleasure, he turned her in his arms, pressing her hips against him as his fingers spread wide on their journey from her throat downward. His mouth was warm on her neck while he took his time learning every part of her.
She whispered his name, a plea for him to continue. He turned her roughly to face him and kissed her so completely that thoughts no longer came to her mind.
He'd longed for this nearness since the night he'd first kissed her and he would drink his fill of her tonight. She moved to his every wish, taking all his caresses and kisses before offering more. He knew he was bruising her flesh, but he had to know fully the feel of her or he'd go mad.
Again and again, she moved against him, turning in his arms, giving him all of heaven he could hold. She learned with each kiss and when he returned to her mouth offered him more pleasure.
When he finally pulled away, he was out of breath and seemed shaken. “Get dressed, Karlee.” His voice sounded unsteady. “We have to go.”
He seemed to be fighting himself. He touched only her lips with the tip of his fingers as he moved away.
They dressed in silence and he helped her in the buggy. Before he raised the reins, he turned to her. “You must think me completely mad.”
“Once more,” she asked with her hand resting on his arm. “Hold me once more before we have to go, Daniel.”
His control shattered. He pulled her wildly onto his lap and found her mouth. As the kiss deepened, he tugged at the buttons of her dress, shoving the material away in haste. His hands were as hungry as his mouth. He bared her breasts so quickly she felt the material rip.
He could no more explain his need for her than he could have denied it. He'd thought the taste of her, the feel of her, would satisfy the hunger inside him, but all it did was make him want more.
When he ended the kiss, she lay across his lap, her head cradled in his arm, her breast bare. He gently caressed her left breast as though he had petted her so tenderly for years. And, as he knew she would, she responded to his touch with a little sound that made him want to give her more, far more. She felt so good in his arms, warm, welcoming. A gift he hadn't asked for but could never return.
“I take it you've no objections to your husband's touch?” He closed his fingers around her flesh and watched her arch her back in pleasure.
“No,” she whispered almost mindlessly. “I've no objections.”
Daniel pulled her close, hugging her to him. “Then promise to come to me again, dear gift. Come to me again as you did tonight.” She was a woman of such fire and opinions, yet she molded to his desires without question.
He kissed her on the cheek and sat her beside him. There was no need for her to answer his request. He could see her answer in her eyes.
