McCord offered a ray of hope in her despair. He said he could explain. She wished to believe in miracles. At what cost would another mistake come? Still, she needed to think this cowboy had possibility. She liked the way he held the door for her, the light hand on the small of her back with his broad shoulders keeping the ghosts of the night at bay. She felt safe.
Fraser scooted between Payton and Amanda, racing to stand guard over the sorry piece of felt. The collie bared his teeth at Payton. Amanda gave the dog a pat and told him to shush.
“Don’t pay Fraser any mind. He gets cranky occasionally. We’re not used to visitors. Have a seat. I’ll get the cider.”
From the corner of her eye she watched Payton perch stiffly on the chair, gripping his new Stetson with both fists. He acted as though she’d rip the hat from him any minute and stomp it. How utterly ridiculous. She’d only mangled the other one because she assumed it came from the head of a cattle baron, not anyone she might fall in love with, which she hadn’t of course. Nothing wrong keeping company with a man who made her feel alive and protected.
Her supple leather moccasins scuffed softly against the planks as Amanda bustled to the small kitchen corner.
“I hope you don’t mind blackberry. John Running Deer has quite an affinity for apple and emptied the crock.”
“Whatever you have is fine. Don’t want to put you out.”
“It’s no trouble.” She plunked down two glasses and a jug.
“Where is your Navajo? Thought I missed someone.”
“He only comes to shear once a year. Usually he stays until we finish, but he got word his wife had taken very ill.”
“What will you do if he can’t return?”
“I’ll manage.” She bit her lip. “Always have.”
“Shearing a flock of sheep is too hard for one small woman, however wiry she is.”
“You think I can’t take care of my own affairs?” Anger returned in full force.
“Unload your slingshot. I’m saying I admire you.”
“Oh.” She sniffed.
Payton took a sip of blackberry cider. “Quit getting your back bowed. I’m not picking a fight.”
“Didn’t look that way skulking around in the dark.”
“So now we’re back to thievery.”
“What were you doing? You never gave that explanation.”
“I don’t want your damn sheep.” His dark glare would make an outlaw head for cover. “Joe pulled another prank on me. Had the lamb tied to my bunk when I got in off the range. You want to nail someone’s hide to the wall, go after him.”
“Must get God-awful wearisome using Joe as an excuse for everything.”
A tic developed in Payton’s jaw. “Damn, woman. Lord knows I have my faults, but I don’t lie. Or steal. Joe’s mad because Lucy still throws a hissy fit if he so much as glances at their cabin, and he blames me.”
“I guess I have no choice but grant the benefit of the doubt since I vowed not to step foot on the Frying Pan. If it’s true, Joe Long has both of us paying dearly.”
His face darkened. “Not for long. I intend to rectify the situation after daybreak.”
“Good luck. Women tend to carry grudges a long time.”
“Does that warning pertain to you, too?”
Amanda’s chin rose defiantly. “I don’t bother anyone and I expect others to mind their own business. If trouble comes I handle it, but I don’t go looking for it either.”
“What happened to fill your voice with barbed wire? Your fight with the cattlemen can’t be all. Someone dug a hole and tried to push you in.” A soft tone crept into Payton’s drawl. “Had to be someone you trusted to dry up every bit of softness.”
“I didn’t know it was so apparent.”
“Only to a man who’s been there before.”
Amanda measured the man next to her. The brush of his hand earlier against her cheek seemed to carry his brand as if to say he claimed her. His leather gloves were tucked under his belt. She vaguely remembered him taking them off right after he put the lamb into the fold. Did he think they smelled of mutton? Or simply to better curl his fist around the new hat? Not that she’d think of stomping it-unless he gave her provocation.
But she’d never do that to someone who loaned hope and buoyed her will to survive.
His hands fascinated her. They were calloused and strong enough to tame a wild stallion but gentle enough to wipe away tears. Such tender strength could hold a woman close and never let her go. She closed her eyes for a brief second and pretended that Payton would see more than what she truly was and be satisfied with it. She had captured his fancy in the hotel when he thought she was someone else. Could she again? Or would he find disappointment when he looked beneath the layers of resentment?
Rugged power radiated from Payton’s nearness, robbing the need for words. They could feel the other’s thoughts. In the silence she knew he’d suffered and lost something dear. A subtle shift in her chair moved her even closer. She could easily touch him-if she wanted.
What was his story? Life evidently hadn’t been kind.
“Amanda, if you’d rather not tell me I’ll understand.”
“What happened? Plenty of people dug that hole-my father, stepmother, aunt, and my beau. Take your pick. I mistakenly trusted them all.”
“I should’ve guessed a pretty woman would have beaus.”
“Just one. It was one too many. The rogue jilted me at the altar. I didn’t realize how much it hurt to be reviled by a man to whom I had given my heart.” Amanda raised her gaze and fell into minty green depths. She would accept no pity. “Isn’t that what you wanted to know? Go ahead and laugh.”
He took her cold hand between his warm ones. “Whatever you say stays here. I would never betray you. Besides, I have secrets I’ve not told anyone either.”
Tingles from his touch ran up her arm and thawed a little more of that ice encasing her heart.
“Doesn’t do any good to talk about things you can’t change. But I’m a good listener. Anytime you get ready to spill your secrets you know where I am.”
“I’ll bear that in mind.” Payton rose. “Appreciate the cider…and for not shooting me.”
“Well, there’s always a next time. I’ll work on improving my aim.”
Amanda regretted the granite wrapping her words. Sarcasm was a habit she couldn’t seem to break. It had been years since she even wanted to. Walking beside him to his horse, she was mindful how blessed tall he was next to her slight frame. She breathed the night air and wondered when she started to care so much about a saddle-weary cowboy.
Payton’s mustache twitched when he winked. “Keep that Winchester loaded. I’ll be back.”
Now what had he meant by that? Was it a threat or a promise? She squashed the rising heat before it became full blown. But not before hope rose that he’d soon find his way to her door again.
That human voice whispering in her ear had possibilities unless she mistook the wink as lint in his eye.
Perhaps it wasn’t too late for her.
But just as the thought came she saw herself on that street corner, pretending to be blind. Could she ever be anything more than a pretender?
A crop of tears blurred the impressive form atop the horse as he headed toward the Frying Pan.
No one in the state of Texas sat a horse quite like Payton McCord.
Chapter 10
The sun still slumbered when Payton rolled from his bunk and rustled up some coffee. He needed time to go over the case he intended to make to Lucy Long. But speak his mind he would. He had to find his balance again-the sooner the better.
