The Kill-Off

I shrugged. The facts of the matter were under his nose even if he, like the rest of the town, was too dull-witted to see them. Ralph had earned approximately twenty-eight hundred dollars a year for the past twenty-two years. He had spent practically nothing. Ergo, he now had a minimum of fifty thousand dollars, and probably a great deal more.

He had it. He would have to. And now that his income was cut off, he would be worried frantic. For fifty thousand would not represent enough security to Ralph. Not fifty thousand or a hundred thousand. He would visualize its disappearing, vanishing into nothingness before his life span had run. He would be terrified, and his terror must certainly react terrifyingly upon Luane.

I wondered where he had hidden the money, since, naturally, he had hidden it-how else could he keep its possession a secret?-as, in his insecurity, he would feel that he had to.

Well, no matter where it was now. There was still this first stage of the game to play. When it was played out, I would concentrate on the money-locate and appropriate it. And watch what happened to Luane, then.

She had behaved very badly, Luane. She had made the serious mistake of telling the truth.

That was unfair; it was theft. The truth was mine-I had earned it painfully and it belonged to me. And now, after years of waiting and planning, it was worthless. A heap of rust, instead of the stout, sharp-pronged lever I was entitled to.

What good was the truth, now? How could I use it on him, now?

Not much. Not enough. Not nearly enough.

He was talking again, bumbling on with his nonsense about my returning to school whether I thought I was or not.

'You're going, understand? You're going to complete your education. You can finish up your high school here, or you can go away. And then you're going on to-'

'Am I?' I said.

'You certainly are! Why-what kind of a boy are you? Letting some gossips, some fool woman spoil your life! No one believes anything she says.'

'Oh, yes, they do,' I said. 'Yes, they do, father. I could name at least three who do, right here in our own household.'

He stared at me, his mouth trembling, the mist of fear and frustration in his eyes. I winked at him, hoping he would start blubbering. But of course he didn't. He has too much pride for that-too much dignity. Ah, what a proud, upright man my father is!

'You have to leave,' he said slowly. 'You must see that you have to leave this town. With your mind-with no outlet for your intelligence…'

'I'll think about it,' I said. 'I'll let you know what I decide.'

'I said you'd leave! You'll do what I say!'

'I'll tell you what I'll do,' I said. 'Exactly, dear father, as I damned please. And if what pleases me doesn't please you, you know what you can do about it.'

He stood up, abruptly, flinging his napkin to the table. He said, yes, he confounded well did know what he could do; and he'd just about reached the point where he was ready to do it.

'You mean you'd call in the authorities?' I said. 'I'd hate to see you do that, father. I'd feel forced to go into the background of my supposed incorrigibility, and the result might be embarrassing for you.'

I gave him a sunny smile. He whirled, and stamped away to his office.

He was back a moment later, his hat on, his medicine kit in one hand.

'Do one thing, at least,' he said. 'For your own good. Stay away from that Pavlov girl.'

'Myra? Why should I stay away from her?' I said.

'Stay away from her,' he repeated. 'You know what Pete Pavlov's like. If-if you-he-'

'Yes?' I said. 'I'm afraid I don't understand. What possible objection could Pavlov have to his daughter's going about with Doctor Ashton's well-bred, brilliant and, I might add, handsome son?'

'Please, Bob-' His voice sagged tiredly. 'Please do it. Leave her alone.'

I hesitated thoughtfully. After a long moment, I shrugged.

'Well, all right,' I said. 'If it means that much to you.'

'Thank you. I-'

'I'll leave her alone,' I said, 'whenever I get ready to. Not before.'

He didn't flinch or explode, much to my disappointment. Apparently he'd been partially prepared for the trick. He simply stared at me, hard-eyed, and when he spoke his voice was very, very quiet.

'I have one more thing to say,' he said. 'A considerable quantity of narcotics is missing from my stock. If I discover any further shortages, I'll see to it that you're punished- imprisoned or institutionalized. I'll do it regardless of what it does to me.'

He turned and left.

I scraped up the dishes and carried them out into the kitchen.

Hattie was at the stove, her back turned to me. She stiffened as I went in, then turned part way around, trying to keep an eye on me while appearing occupied with her work.

Hattie is probably thirty-nine or forty now. She isn't as pretty as I remember her as a child-I thought she was the loveliest woman in the world then-but she is still something to take a second look at.

I put the dishes in the sink. I moved along the edge of the baseboard, smiling to myself, watching her neck muscles tighten as I moved out of her range of vision.

I was right behind her before fear forced her to whirl around. She pressed back against the stove, putting her hands out in a pushing- away gesture.

'Why, mother,' I said. 'What's the matter? You're not afraid of your own darling son, are you?'

'Go 'way!' Her eyes rolled whitely. 'Lea' me alone, you hear?'

'But I just wanted a kiss,' I said. 'Just a kiss from my dear, sweet mother. After all, I haven't had one now, since-well, I was about three, wasn't I? A very long time for a child to go without a kiss from his own mother. I remember being rather heartbroken when-'

'D-don't!' she moaned. 'You don't know nothin' about-Get outta here! I tell doctor on you, an' he-'

'You mean you're not my mother?' I said. 'You're truly not?'

'N-no! I tol' you, ain't I? Ain't nothin', nobody! I-I-'

'Well, all right.' I shrugged. 'In that case..

I grabbed her suddenly, clamped her against me, pinning her arms to her sides. She gasped, moaned, struggled futilely. She didn't, of course, cry out for help.

'How about it,' I said, 'as long as you're not my mother. Keep it all in the family, huh? What do you say we-'

I let go of her, laughing.

I stepped back, wiping her spittle from my face.

'Why, Hattie,' I said. 'Why on earth did you do a thing like that? All I wanted was-What?' My heart did a painful skip-jump, and there was a choking lump in my throat. 'What? I don't believe I understood you, Hattie.'

She looked at me, lips curled back from her teeth. Eyes narrowed, steady, with contempt. With something beyond contempt, beyond disgust and hatred.

'You hear' me right,' she said. 'You couldn' do nothin'. Couldn' an' never will.'

'Yes?' I said. 'Are you very sure of that, my dearest mother?'

'Huh! Me, I tell you.' She grinned a skull's grin. 'Yeah, I ver' sure, aw right, my deares' son.'