The lolloping, scalloping Lobsters go.
Did you know?'
and
'Boys and Girls, come out to play
Over the Hills and Far Away,
The Sheep's in the Meadow, the Cow's in the Stall,
And down will come Baby, Cradle and All!'
'Lovely!' cried the King, clapping his hands. 'Now, listen! I've just thought of one myself! It goes like this—
'All dogs — Tiddle-de-um!
Hate frogs — Tiddle-di-do!'
'H'm,' said the Fool. 'Not bad!'
'Wait a minute!' said the King. 'I've thought of another! And I think it's a better one. Listen, carefully!'
And he sang—
'Pluck me a Flower,
And catch me a Star,
And braize them in Butter
And Treacle and Tar.
Tra-la!
How delicious they are!'
'Bravo!' cried the Fool. 'Let's sing it together!'
And he and the King went dancing through the Castle chanting the King's two songs, one after the other, to a very special tune.
And when they were tired of singing they fell together in a heap in the main corridor and there went to sleep.
'He gets worse and worse!' said the Queen to the Lord High Chancellor, 'What
'I have just heard,' replied the Lord High Chancellor, 'that the wisest man in the kingdom, the Chief of all the Professors, is coming to-morrow. Perhaps he will help us!'
And the next day the Chief Professor arrived, walking smartly up the path to the Castle carrying a little black bag. It was raining slightly but the whole court had gathered at the top of the steps to welcome him.
'Has he got his wisdom in that little bag, do you think?' whispered the King. But the Fool, who was playing knuckle-bones beside the throne, only smiled and went on tossing.
'Now, if Your Majesty pleases,' said the Chief Professor, in a business-like voice, 'let us take Arithmetic first. Can Your Majesty answer this? If two Men and a Boy were wheeling a Barrow over a Clover-field in the middle of February, how many Legs would they have between them?'
The King gazed at him for a moment, rubbing his sceptre against his cheek.
The Fool tossed a knuckle-bone and caught it neatly on the back of his wrist.
'Does it matter?' said the King, smiling pleasantly.
The Chief Professor started violently and looked at the King in astonishment.
'As a matter of fact,' he said quietly, 'it doesn't. But I will ask your Majesty another question. How deep is the sea?'
'Deep enough to sail a ship on.'
Again the Chief Professor started and his long beard quivered. He was smiling.
'What is the difference, Majesty, between a star and a stone, a bird and a man?'
'No difference at all, Professor. A stone is a star that shines not. A man is a bird without wings.'
The Chief Professor drew nearer, and gazed wonderingly at the King.
'What is the best thing in the world?' he asked quietly.
'Doing nothing,' answered the King, waving his bent sceptre.
'Oh, dear, oh dear!' wailed the Queen. 'THIS IS DREADFUL!'
'
'Tch! Tch! Tch!' said the Lord High Chancellor.
But the Chief Professor ran up the steps and stood by the King's throne.
'Who taught you these things, Majesty?' he demanded.
The King pointed with his sceptre to the Fool, who was throwing up his knuckle-bones.
'Him,' said the King, ungrammatically.
The Chief Professor raised his bushy eyebrows. The Fool looked up at him and smiled. He tossed a knuckle- bone and the Professor, bending forward, caught it on the back of his hand.
'Ha!' he cried. 'I know you! Even in that cap and bells, I know the Dirty Rascal!'
'Ha, ha!' laughed the Fool.
'What else did he teach you, Majesty?' The Chief Professor turned again to the King.
'To sing,' answered the King.
And he stood up and sang—
'A black and white Cow
Sat up in a Tree
And if I were she
Then I shouldn't be me!'
'Very true,' said the Chief Professor. 'What else?'
The King sang again, in a pleasant, quavering voice—
'The Earth spins round
Without a tilt
So that the Sea
Shall not be spilt.'
'So it does,' remarked the Chief Professor. 'Any more?'
'Oh gracious, yes!' said the King, delighted at his success. 'There's this one—
'Oh, I could learn
Until I'm pink.
But then I'd have
No time to think!'
