Mary Poppins in the Park

The old cat peered over his glasses.

'It has always been our custom here, when any child wishes for all the fun, to let him have three guesses. If he answers them all — correctly, of course — he wins a third of the Cats' kingdom and the hand of one of the Princesses in marriage.'

'And if he fails,' the King added, 'we find him some other occupation.' He glanced significantly at the labouring children.

'I need hardly add,' he continued blandly, exchanging a smile with his three daughters, 'that no one has guessed the riddles yet. Let the curtain be drawn for the — ahem! — time being. Silence in the hall, please! Lord Chamberlain, begin!'

Immediately, the music ceased. The dancers stood on the tips of their paws and the hoops hung motionless in the air.

Michael's spirits rose again. Now that the children were out of sight, he felt a good deal better. Besides, he loved a guessing game.

The Lord Chamberlain opened his book and read:

Round as a marble, blue as the sea,

Unless I am brown or grey, maybe!

Smile, and I shine my window-pane,

Frown at me and down comes my rain.

I see all things but nothing I hear,

Sing me to sleep and I disappear.

Michael frowned. The cats were all watching him as if he were a mouse.

'A bit of a poser, I'm afraid!' The King leaned back on his cushion.

'No, it isn't!' cried Michael suddenly. 'I've got it! An Eye!'

The cats glanced cornerwise at each other. The King's wide gaze grew narrower.

'H'm,' he murmured. 'Not bad, not bad! Well, now for the second riddle.'

'A-hurrrrrum!' The Lord Chamberlain cleared his throat.

Deep within me is a bird

And in that bird another me,

And in that me a bird again—

Now, what am I, in letters three?

'That's easy!' Michael gave a shout. 'The answer's an Egg, of course!'

Again the cats swivelled their eyes.

'You are right,' said the King unwillingly. He seemed to be only faintly pleased. 'But I wonder' — he arched his dappled back—'I wonder what you will make of the third!'

'Silence!' commanded the Lord Chamberlain, though there wasn't a sound in the hall.

Elegant the jungle beast

That lives in field and fold.

He's like the sun when he is young

And like the moon when old.

He sees no clock, he hears no chime

And yet he always knows the time.

'This is more difficult,' Michael murmured. 'The third is always the worst. H'm, let me see — a jungle beast — he's elegant and he knows the time. Oh, dear, it's on the tip of my tongue. I've got it! Dandelion!'

'He's guessed it!' cried the King, rising.

And at once the cats all leapt to life. They surrounded Michael with fur and whiskers and arched themselves against him.

'You are cleverer than I thought,' said the King. 'Almost as clever as a cat. Well, now I must go and divide the kingdom. And as to a bride — the Princess Crocus, it seems to me, would be the most suitable choice.'

'Oh, thank you,' said Michael cheerfully — he was feeling quite himself again—'but I must be getting home now.'

'Home!' cried the King in astonishment.

'Home?' the Queen echoed, raising her eyebrows.

'Well, I have to be back for tea,' explained Michael.

'Tea?' repeated the courtiers, gaping.

'Fancy!' the three Princesses tittered.

'Are you so certain you still have a home?' said the King in a curious voice.

'Of course I am,' said Michael, staring. 'What could have happened to it? From the Park to — er — here, it was just a jump. And it only took me a minute.'

'You've forgotten, I think,' said the King smoothly, 'that our minutes last for two hundred years. And as you've been here at least half an hour—'

'Two hundred?' Michael's cheek paled. So it hadn't been a joke after all!

'It stands to reason,' the King continued, 'that many changes must have occurred since you were on the Earth. Number Seventeen Applebush Avenue—'

'Cherry Tree Lane,' the Lord Chamberlain muttered.

'Well, whatever its name, you may be sure it isn't the same as it was. I dare say it's overgrown with brambles—'

'Briars!' added the Queen, purring.

'Nettles,' suggested the courtiers.

'Blackberries,' murmured the three Princesses.

'Oh, I'm sure it isn't!' Michael gulped. He was feeling such a longing for home that the thought of it made him choke.

'However,' the King went blandly on. 'If you're certain you can find your way — I'm afraid we can't spare Malkin again — by all means set out!' He waved his paw towards the door.

Michael ran to the entrance. 'Of course I'm certain!' he cried stoutly. But his courage ebbed as he looked out.

There were the shining steps of the palace, but below them, as far as he could see, there was nothing but wreathing mist. What if he jumped? he thought to himself. And if he jumped, where would he land?

He bit his lip and turned back to the hall. The cats were softly creeping towards him, gazing at him mockingly from black-and-yellow eyes.

'You see!' said the King of the Cats, smiling — and not a kindly smile either. 'In spite of being so clever at guessing, you do not know the way back! You wished to be miles from everywhere, but you foolishly neglected to add that you would also like to return home. Well! Well! Everyone makes mistakes at times — unless, of course, they are cats! And think how fortunate you are! No kitchen work — you have solved the riddles. Plenty of rats and bats and spiders. And you can settle down with the Princess Crocus and live happily ever after.'

'But I don't want to marry the Princess Crocus! I only want to go home!'

A low growl came from every throat. Every whisker bristled.