“The hills around it form almost a perfect bowl, so unless you wanted to do some leg work by climbing, there’s no good reason to come up here. See over there?” She pointed to their left. “It’s the only way to get in without having to make the climb, and that’s how the cows get in here. When I was little and someone else owned Jerry’s place, I’d sneak over here and sit along these banks for hours, just looking at the water or the clouds floating by.” Emma felt melancholy.
“We’ll have to ask your father for some of your baby pictures while we’re here. I don’t think I’ve ever seen any of them.” Cain pressed her back against the tree where they had laid the blanket and pulled Emma into her arms. “You have an unfair advantage since you’ve seen all of mine.”
Emma couldn’t have asked for a better segue into the conversation she wanted to have, so she looked up at Cain’s face and reached for one of the big hands to hold. “My mother didn’t believe in wasting money on what she called frivolous things.”
“Children are never frivolous things, love.”
“I know that, and I knew it back then. That’s what I thought about when I sat here. I daydreamed about the family I’d someday have. About the person who would help me and love me the way I wanted to be loved.”
Cain let go of her hand and ran her fingers along Emma’s jaw down to her neck. She forgot sometimes what a fragile soul her lover was and how many hurts had laid the foundation for the woman she’d become. When they had first started living together, Cain wondered at times what made Emma so skittish. She always seemed to be waiting for the blow to knock her down because of some unforgivable mistake.
“I’d be willing to bet that in all those daydreams your brilliant mind never came close to me. Am I right?” The kiss she gave her after the question was as long and as loving as Cain could make it.
“After I met you I thought of this place again, and you’re right. That’s when I knew I didn’t have enough imagination. I dreamed of someone strong to keep me safe, someone to love me. Little girls normally want those things, but I wanted something even more.”
“What’s that, sweetling?”
“I dreamed of someone who saw
The confession broke Cain’s heart like nothing else could have. Her eyes filled with tears for the little girl who for so long had only had a father who loved her, but who wasn’t willing to fully stand up and fight for her. She liked Ross, but a part of her believed he had somewhat failed his daughter.
“Oh, lass, I saw you all those years ago in my pub, and I’ve seen little else since. After today we’re going to leave the hurts and disappointments of that little girl here, ’cause she’s found what she sought. I love you and, more importantly, you belong to me. I’ll let no more pain touch what’s mine.”
“I know, and I love you for it. When I found you and we had Hayden and filled that house up with love, toys, and pictures, I always felt like it was a dream. You showed me it was all right to want those things Mother told me for so long I didn’t deserve. I wanted them enough to start believing they were something I deserved because I loved you.”
Cain kissed her again and smiled at the confidence building in Emma’s voice. “You deserve so much more, and if I can, I’ll give you everything and anything you want.”
“Do you mean it?” Emma pressed her palms to the sides of Cain’s face and gazed into her eyes. Cain nodded, and the silent answer gave Emma the strength to do what her father had told her when he left her at the airport.
If Emma had asked for anything else, a laugh would have come bubbling out when she watched Cain open her mouth, then click it shut a couple of times. The color drained from Cain’s face so quickly that Emma was afraid she was going to pass out. “Did you hear me, honey?”
“Yep.” Cain uttered the affirmation in such a small voice Emma barely registered it.
“I know we have a lot of rebuilding to do before we get to the point where you’re comfortable with the idea, but I just wanted to tell you that’s what I want.” Her speech sped up as nerves took over. “And if you don’t ever want it, then I guess that’s okay too. This isn’t something someone can foist upon—”
Any other words were stopped by the lips that covered Emma’s in a kiss filled with passion. Without too much effort Cain rolled them over so that she covered the more compact body with her own, never releasing Emma’s mouth.
Slowly Cain pulled away, leaving Emma breathing hard. “I want that as much as I want you right now.”
The desire in Cain’s voice made Emma moan and lift herself so she could reach the tempting lips again. This time when she pulled away she lowered her hands to the button of her jeans and undid them enough so Cain could fit her hand inside. “It’s too cold to take them off completely, but if you don’t touch me right now you’re going to have to carry me back.” Her last thought before the long fingers sliding over her robbed her of the ability to think was how thrilled she was her hopes hadn’t been shot down.
“I love you, lass, and I’ll love as many children as you wish to bring into this world with me.”
It was done. No matter the consequences, Cain set her sights on trying again, regardless of her self-doubts. With so much to fight for, she was ready to enter the fray, no matter what waited for her at home.
It was time.
Chapter Nineteen
As Ross stared out at his barn from his living room and sipped his coffee, he thought of the spring they’d brought baby Emma home from the hospital. The ordeal of childbirth had wreaked havoc on Carol’s body, and the doctor had told them it would be risky to have other children. For a man who’d come from a family of ten, it was the hardest news he’d ever had to take.
It had made no difference. He looked out at the yard and in his mind’s eye could see the small blond tagalong hanging from the fence waving to him when he’d ride back from the fields. Emma had filled his heart so completely, Ross hadn’t regretted not having any others. Yet he’d let Carol subject her to the kind of treatment she didn’t deserve. At night when he had trouble sleeping, he’d pray God would forgive him for his weakness. He should have
