The Descent of Man and Other Stories

She was becoming breathless and ejaculatory. “Of course you’ll laugh—you laugh at everything!”

“That rather blunts the point of my derision, doesn’t it?” he interjected; but she rushed on without noticing:

“It’s so easy to laugh at things.”

“Ah,” murmured Lethbury with relish, “that’s Aunt Sophronia’s, isn’t it?”

Most of his wife’s opinions were heirlooms, and he took a quaint pleasure in tracing their descent. She was proud of their age, and saw no reason for discarding them while they were still serviceable. Some, of course, were so fine that she kept them for state occasions, like her great-grandmother’s Crown Derby; but from the lady known as Aunt Sophronia she had inherited a stout set of every-day prejudices that were practically as good as new; whereas her husband’s, as she noticed, were always having to be replaced. In the early days she had fancied there might be a certain satisfaction in taxing him with the fact; but she had long since been silenced by the reply: “My dear, I’m not a rich man, but I never use an opinion twice if I can help it.”

She was reduced, therefore, to dwelling on his moral deficiencies; and one of the most obvious of these was his refusal to take things seriously. On this occasion, however, some ulterior purpose kept her from taking up his taunt.

“I’m not in the least ashamed!” she repeated, with the air of shaking a banner to the wind; but the domestic atmosphere being calm, the banner drooped unheroically.

“That,” said Lethbury judicially, “encourages me to infer that you ought to be, and that, consequently, you’ve been giving yourself the unusual pleasure of doing something I shouldn’t approve of.”

She met this with an almost solemn directness. “No,” she said. “You won’t approve of it. I’ve allowed for that.”

“Ah,” he exclaimed, setting down his liqueur-glass. “You’ve worked out the whole problem, eh?”

“I believe so.”

“That’s uncommonly interesting. And what is it?”

She looked at him quietly. “A baby.”

If it was seldom given her to surprise him, she had attained the distinction for once.

“A baby?”

“Yes.”

“A—human baby?”

“Of course!” she cried, with the virtuous resentment of the woman who has never allowed dogs in the house.

Lethbury’s puzzled stare broke into a fresh smile. “A baby I sha’n’t approve of? Well, in the abstract I don’t think much of them, I admit. Is this an abstract baby?”

Again she frowned at the adjective; but she had reached a pitch of exaltation at which such obstacles could not deter her.

“It’s the loveliest baby—” she murmured.

“Ah, then it’s concrete. It exists. In this harsh world it draws its breath in pain—”

“It’s the healthiest child I ever saw!” she indignantly corrected.

“You’ve seen it, then?”

Again the accusing blush suffused her. “Yes—I’ve seen it.”

“And to whom does the paragon belong?”

And here indeed she confounded him. “To me—I hope,” she declared.

He pushed his chair back with an inarticulate murmur. “To you—?”

“To us,” she corrected.

“Good Lord!” he said. If there had been the least hint of hallucination in her transparent gaze—but no: it was as clear, as shallow, as easily fathomable as when he had first suffered the sharp surprise of striking bottom in it.

It occurred to him that perhaps she was trying to be funny: he knew that there is nothing more cryptic than the humor of the unhumorous.

“Is it a joke?” he faltered.

“Oh, I hope not. I want it so much to be a reality—”

He paused to smile at the limitations of a world in which jokes were not realities, and continued gently: “But since it is one already—”

“To us, I mean: to you and me. I want—” her voice wavered, and her eyes with it. “I have always wanted so dreadfully…it has been such a disappointment…not to…”

“I see,” said Lethbury slowly.

But he had not seen before. It seemed curious, now, that he had never thought of her taking it in that way, had never surmised any hidden depths beneath her outspread obviousness. He felt as though he had touched a secret spring in her mind.

There was a moment’s silence, moist and tremulous on her part, awkward and slightly irritated on his.

“You’ve been lonely, I suppose?” he began. It was odd, having suddenly to reckon with the stranger who gazed