“They ran a full toxicology screen. There was nothing but estrogen and alcohol. Look, the mind is a funny thing. You might be blocking it out. That could be why you don’t remember.”
“I want him arrested. I want my neighbor put in jail.”
“Are you sure it was him?”
“I remember him. I can see his face as clear as day.”
“When I spoke to you before you weren’t certain you’d actually been raped.”
“But now we know. We have his semen.”
“I’m still not certain that I can get a warrant to compel him to give us a DNA sample. Not with the evidence we have. I don’t know if your statement would convince a judge.”
“Wh-what? Well, what am I supposed to do?”
“I’ll come to your house, we’ll go over your statement again, and I’ll talk with your neighbor. Are you at home now?”
“No, we’ve been sleeping in a hotel room. I couldn’t stand to stay in that house.”
“I could meet you at your hotel. Where are you staying?”
“Hollywood Galaxy. Room 1912.”
“I’m going to question your neighbor first. I want to see if he’d be willing to give us a DNA sample voluntarily. Will you be staying at the hotel a few more days or will you be returning home?”
“I’m not sure. I’ll have to ask my husband.”
Sarah hung up the phone and stared out the hotel window.
Josh was on his knees scrubbing the floor where she’d vomited with a bath towel. He didn’t look up when he spoke to her. He just kept scrubbing.
“How is that possible, Sarah? They didn’t find any drugs in your system. They didn’t find any bruising. Anywhere!”
“I don’t know.”
“How can you not remember someone cumming in your ass? How the hell do you expect me to believe that? How do you think that makes me feel?”
A sudden rage came rushing through Sarah and it was all she could do to control it. She didn’t want to let this thing, whatever it was, tear her and Josh apart. But she couldn’t stand the thought of Josh questioning her about something like this.
“How it makes
Josh shook his head and let out a sharp exhalation of breath that almost sounded like a chuckle.
“I’m sorry. I am. I just don’t know what you expect from me. I mean, look at it through my eyes. You can’t even explain what the hell is going on. All I know for a fact is that someone else’s semen was inside my wife.”
Josh threw the towel on the floor and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He looked away from Sarah, still refusing to make eye contact. Sarah knelt down and put an arm around him. She was still angry but her instinct was still to comfort him, to try to make everything okay.
“I don’t know. I don’t know what’s happening to me.”
Josh picked up the towel and started scrubbing the carpet again.
“So what happens next? What happens if Dale’s DNA is a match with the semen they found? Are they going to arrest him? I mean, you’ll get ripped apart on a stand. They’ll say it was consensual. It’ll be your word against his and you don’t have a shred of proof. He’ll say you two were having an affair or something.”
“Is that what you think?”
Josh was still not looking at her. He had soiled three towels and was reaching for a fourth. He squirted shower gel onto the floor and continued rubbing the carpet with the fresh towel.
Sarah took her arm from around his shoulders and stood up, both hands on her hips, feeling that rage boiling inside her again, wanting to explode. She felt the urge to kick Josh in the back of his head. Instead, she took a deep breath and knelt back down beside him.
“Look at me, Josh. Is that what you think?”
Josh still did not turn his head toward her when he spoke. She put a hand on his cheek to try to turn his head to face her but he jerked his head away and continued staring at the vomit stain on the floor.
“I don’t know what to think. I don’t know. I mean, you don’t remember, and I have heard of people getting raped and blocking it out. I know it happens. And with the sliding-door lock busted I suppose someone could have come in the house. But I was home. I was home, Sarah! It’s just not possible that we’re both blocking it out. It’s not possible that someone broke in while I was asleep, fucked you and ejaculated in you, then got it up again and fucked you in your ass, ejaculated again, then got it up a third time and came in your mouth, all while I was snoring beside you. How could that be possible?”
Sarah shook her head. Her rage turned to a deep sadness. Josh was right. There was no reason for him to believe her. She wouldn’t have believed him if the tables were turned. Whatever was happening to her was about to destroy her marriage. It was rapidly eroding the trust she shared with her husband and she knew that once the trust went the love was next. Tears were streaming down her face. She began to dry heave.
“I don’t know!”
Josh punched his fist into the floor and Sarah jumped. For a moment she was afraid he was going to hit her. It was the first time she’d ever found herself afraid of her husband and she immediately felt guilty for it. Josh was big but he’d never been a bully. He was usually gentle and sensitive. This, however, was uncharted territory. She’d never before given him a reason to question her loyalty. Still, Josh was mild and nonconfrontational by nature unless he felt like he was being deliberately provoked. Attacking a woman just wasn’t in him. Sarah thought about Josh storming out of the house with a gun in his hand when she’d first told him that she thought she had been raped. He had been fully planning on killing their neighbor. Sarah wondered if she really knew her husband as well as she thought she did.
“It’s not possible, Sarah! It’s just not fucking possible!”
“So you think I cheated on you?”
“Maybe it was a date rape or something and you felt guilty about it and so you invented this whole thing. Maybe you blocked that out and you really believe that this whole fantasy is true. Maybe you sleepwalked across the street and fucked the neighbor in your sleep. I don’t fucking know, Sarah, but you’re a sex addict, a goddamn nymphomaniac or something! I know I can’t satisfy you. So why wouldn’t you be getting it somewhere else?”
Sarah reached out for him and Josh pulled away. He was sobbing but he wouldn’t let her see his face. It was some type of pride thing.
“Josh, I didn’t cheat on you. I’m not a sex addict. You satisfy me completely. We have a great sex life. I’m sorry if I made you feel like I wasn’t satisfied. You always make me cum. I don’t need anybody else but you. I love you and I think you’re sexy as hell.”
Josh finally turned to look at Sarah. Tears were streaming down his face. Sarah felt her heart break.
“Then explain this to me. Tell me what the hell happened.”
“I don’t know. I’m not lying to you and I’m not trying to hide anything.”
This was so natural for Sarah, comforting Josh when she ought to have been losing her mind, when she ought to have been screaming at him, punching him, and crying hysterically. But flipping out like that wasn’t like her. She had not been herself since this thing started; it felt good to be calm again. This was normal to her.
Sarah had just gone from vomiting on the carpet to kneeling down to take the soapy rag from his hand and wrapping her arms around him, laying his head on her chest and rocking him like a baby. Surprisingly, the transition felt effortless to her. Comforting him helped take away some of the terror she was feeling. She had to be strong for Josh. He needed her.
“I’m sorry, Sarah. I know you wouldn’t cheat on me. I’m just so fucking confused. None of this makes any sense. I just don’t know what to do.”
“Let’s try to figure this out together then. Okay? Look, let’s go over what we know.”
“Okay. I’ll try.”
Trying to solve this puzzle would make them both feel like they were doing something. It would make them feel less powerless, more in control of the situation like Sarah felt after they had purchased the gun. Sarah knew
