table, Bell righted herself. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“Well?” Josh wanted an answer. Was James Mitchell her partner?
“Fuck you, Josh. I think I have the answer I was
looking for from you. And you will be hearing from me … in one way or another. Or your wife will.”
“Get out!” he barked, shaking with rage.
“Suit yourself,” she said, the evil grin still present on her face. She opened the door and let herself out.
“Dammit!” Josh said to himself, his hands balled up into fists.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
The park was a full city block of grass in the downtown area, one of several plots scattered throughout downtown like green property squares on a Monopoly
board. The children’s playground occupied one corner of the park. Unsupervised and shrouded by trees, it was home to tire swing sets, slides, monkey bars, seesaws and a merry-go-round, all contained in a sandbox.
Abby had the playground to herself. It was late in the afternoon, and she had free run of the amusements and no petty arguments about whose turn was next. It was every child’s dream and today, Abby’s had come true.
Abby’s good fortune wasn’t because of good timing or knowing an out-of-the-way place. She had the playground to herself because most of the city parks were
populated with bums spending their days lounging or panhandling, and parents feared their children coming in contact with an undesirable. They would rather take them to more secure places. However, this park playground was the exception. Not in a part of town heavily
populated with city workers who had money to
give, the park was virtually unmolested by bums who gravitated to places with better pickings.
Squealing, Abby came down the slide, her dress riding up and wedging under her bottom. Wagging his
tail, Wiener waited at the bottom of the slide and barked in time to Abby’s squeal. She ran back to the steps to climb up for another go.
Josh and Kate occupied two of the swings. The
adults looked like giants on the swingset designed for children. Josh stretched out his long legs far in front of him, his heels digging into the sand. Kate rocked slowly back and forth. They watched their daughter at play.
Neither said anything to the other.
Low in the sky, the sun cast shadows on the narrow streets. A gentle breeze ruffled the trees, producing a sound similar to waves lapping a sandy beach.
Kate shuddered. “I’m getting cold. What time is it?”
Josh looked at his watch. “Just after five.”
“I think we’ll go in a minute,” Kate said to Josh; then called to Abby, “Another five minutes then we’re going, sweets.”
Both Abby and Wiener looked Kate’s way at the bottom of the slide. “Oh, Mom! Can’t we stay longer? I’m not tired or anything,” Abby whined, as only kids can.
“We’ll have five minutes to think about it and let you know. Okay?” Josh said.
Abby nodded happily and ran off toward the monkey bars, Wiener bouncing after her.
“Why the delay?” Kate asked.
Josh started to speak, but the words didn’t come.
Kate turned in the swing, twisting the chains above her. “Come on, Josh, spit it out. You brought us here and you haven’t had two words to say in the last hour.
I’ve talked and you’ve stared into the distance.”
Josh took a breath and released it as a sigh. After Bell’s visit yesterday, he knew it was better he told her now rather than Bell telling her later. He turned to face Kate. “There’s something I want to tell you. It’s something I should have told you a long time ago. It’s something I did. Something that I think is coming back to
hurt me and indirectly can hurt us.”
Fear passed across Kate’s face like a shadow and the sparkle in her eyes dulled. He saw her mind working, trying to guess what he’d done. Would she be close?
Could she imagine the things he’d done? If she couldn’t, he would hurt her with his next statement. If she could, what did that say about them? Either way, it made this confession all the more difficult. Josh wrung his hands together and looked at them.
“Remember when Abby had that kidney and liver infection after she was born? She was in the hospital for
such a long time and you didn’t leave her side. You were with her virtually day and night.”
Memories of that time bombarded him, cutting short his explanation. He relived those terrifying weeks seeing his first child fight to survive and him powerless to do anything to save her.
“Yes, of course I remember,” she said softly.
“You’ve got to understand I did it for the right reasons and I didn’t want to worry you.”
Fear forced Kate to squirm. “Josh, tell me. Please.”
“You were so scared for Abby. Worried whether she would pull through. I don’t know what I would have done if she’d died.”
Kate grabbed his wrist. “Jesus, Josh, don’t say that.
Don’t even think things like that.”
Josh stopped rocking on the swing and he stared into her eyes for recognition. “But I did and you can’t say you didn’t think the same, either.”
She looked away from him. “Oh, Josh.”
“It’s okay to admit it. Look, she’s okay, there’s nothing wrong with her and she’s great.” He lifted Kate’s face so she looked at him, then turned his gaze to Abby.
Red-faced, Abby hung upside down from the climbing frame, her hair hanging down. Her arms outstretched, she stroked Wiener, who stood beneath her.
She spotted her parents looking at her. “Are my five minutes up?”
“No, not yet,” Josh said.
“Cool.”
Josh couldn’t help smiling.
“What did you do, Josh?”
His smile melted. “She wasn’t getting better and the medical bills were piling up. The insurance was stretched to the max and MediCal couldn’t help us.”
“Josh, you said the insurance would cover it.”
“It didn’t.”
“What did you do?” she repeated, dread eating up
her face.
“I remember the crying. I couldn’t bear to listen to it.
It was like listening to fingernails being drawn down a blackboard.” He shuddered at memories of years past, the despair rising to the surface. “The insurance was saying they wouldn’t pay out any further and the doctors said they needed to carry out more procedures. I
didn’t know what we were going to do.”
Kate placed a comforting hand on Josh’s knees.
“Tell me.”
“I was carrying out building inspections on an apartment development in Dixon. The construction company
had cut corners to make a profit and they knew it would never make the grade.” He stopped looking at Kate again and stared into the sand at his feet
“What did you do?” she whispered.
“They offered me ten thousand to sign the development off as safe.”
“And you took it.”
“Yes.”
“Oh, Josh.” Her hand slipped from his knee.
