But not even the recollection of Kimber’s tight cunt milking him dry and bringing him to the fringe of paradise could make him forget or ignore the immediate aftermath. She’d made his dreams come true, and he’d essentially dumped her minutes later. It was a scenario he’d thought less probable than her ever giving him head. Maybe such an unlikely event happening was signifying the aforementioned end of days. The impending arrival of the Four Horsemen was the only excuse he had for explaining his insane, out-of-character behavior. Was this traipse down the slippery slope toward mental illness a new development or something that had been lying dormant?
Jay was intensely afraid of the person he’d become. For all his insisting he’d intended to do the right thing, why then had he spent the past week, calling upon that one acting class he’d taken in college and working on a way to disguise his voice? Why would he do that if he’d planned to tell Kimber the truth? He couldn’t be sure of anything anymore, sans his intensifying feelings for her and his self-loathing in himself.
He drove past Kimber’s apartment complex the next morning, noticing her car in the lot and cringing. He was scared to face her, to face her sadness and shock and then to try to comfort her while pretending he wasn’t the one who’d plunged her into misery. He’d help her wish a plague on the house of this heartless, nameless bastard who’d used her up and thrown her away-himself. Jesus, the situation became more screwed up by the second.
Jay turned the Monte Carlo around and parked in the empty spot beside Kimber’s battered coupe, unable to ignore the possibility of her in pain, especially since it was his fault. As he made his way to her door, he rationalized that this was the perfect time to not only offer his friendship and support but to do some damage control. He could play devil’s advocate and suggest reasons why her lover bailed to keep her self-esteem and optimism afloat. It seemed a fine plan, yet it still managed to deeply sicken him.
He knocked on the door to apartment 18 and waited as he heard footsteps muffled by carpet rush toward him. Then he heard a knock mimicking his come from the other side and the door unlock. He twisted the knob and stepped inside, where he saw Kimber settling on her futon, freshly showered and looking comfy in frayed jeans that were too big for her and a vintage-looking navy T-shirt displaying a Honolulu surfer.
She rested her laptop atop her crossed legs and gave him a brilliant smile. “Hey! This is unexpected.”
“You took the words right out of my mouth.” He shut the door behind him and eyed her with suspicion. No signs of tears, distress, or loss of sleep. Then again, women were tricky, deceitful creatures; talking to them was like negotiating a minefield. Kimber could combust into a rage at any given moment and body parts would start flying.
She gave him a strange look at his comment but otherwise didn’t acknowledge it. “What brings you here?”
“Just passing by. Thought I’d check in.” There it was-the first truth he’d told in days. When had he turned into such a liar? He glanced around the room, unable to look at her for too long without wanting to crack. “The place is really coming along.”
“You think?” She chuckled and took a long pull on her juice box, her cheekbones caving until the staccato sound of the last few drops trapped in the straw filled the room and she let it drop, empty, on the scarred wooden end table. “One futon and a few magazine pictures taped to the wall, and you think this joint’s a palace?”
“Let’s not get carried away. I just said it’s coming along.” Jay smiled in spite of himself, granting himself permission to enjoy how easy it was to be in her company. He gestured to the stack of neon orange milk crates holding DVDs beside the TV. “Nice rack.”
“I bet you say that to all the girls.”
His innuendo had slipped from him with little effort and triggered the unpleasant reminder of why he was there. He settled in one of the beanbag chairs scattered on the floor. “So, how are you?”
“I’m awesome. Just catching up on some
Pepperoni, perched on the back of the couch just behind Kimber’s head and resembling a feline-shaped airline pillow from Jay’s vantage point, released a yawn of agreement.
“Cool, cool.” Jay nodded, not sure how to talk to her. He’d been expecting to walk in on a firestorm, not intrude on a peaceful, normal routine.
“Did you have fun at the party?” she asked. “I didn’t see you last night.”
No, she sure didn’t. “Yeah, just hung out with the usual clowns.”
She smiled. “Was Moquest still trying out pick-up lines? Any actually work?”
“It’s still a work in progress.” In truth, he’d high-tailed it out of there as soon as he’d left the garage, unable to face anyone, including Moquest, who’d called him five times already and it was only 11 a.m. He picked at the small white foam beads spilling from a tiny hole in the beanbag chair. “What about you?” He forced the words out, and it felt like trying to regurgitate glass. “You have fun?”
“I did.” She closed her laptop with authority and gave him a brilliant grin, like she’d been waiting for someone to ask. “I had a fantastic time.”
He nipped his lower lip with his teeth. “What happened?”
“I met up with my mysterious friend.”
“How’d that go?”
Kimber twisted into a horizontal position on the couch with a happy sigh, hugging the laptop to her chest and looking at the ceiling like a lovesick teen. “You don’t want to know.”
“Yeah, I do.” Did he? “Tell me.”
“Let’s just say we put the ‘riding’ in riding lawn mower.”
That was for sure. He’d never be able to cut grass again without getting a hard-on.
She turned to him. “You don’t seem too surprised or impressed by that.”
“Oh. Am I supposed to be?”
“Why the hell wouldn’t you? I fucked someone on a lawn mower. That doesn’t raise eyebrows?”
He shrugged. “I’ve done it before.” As in twelve hours before.
“Hmph. I didn’t realize it was so common.” She pouted in a way that made him ache to kiss her, then brightened again. “I bet you didn’t do it blindfolded though.”
This was getting a bit too close for comfort. “True, you win.” He took a deep breath. “So what happens now? You gonna keep seeing him or what?”
Kimber sat up and set the laptop on her coffee table, which was actually a battered bass drum she’d rescued from the curb. “That’s the plan.”
Jay stared at her, dumbstruck, not knowing how to question that without giving up the jig.
She planted her feet on the floor and leaned forward, clasping her hands, her expression turning serious. “He told me when he left he couldn’t see me anymore. It pretty much broke my heart at first but then…” She shook her head, lost in thought. “I realized that something can’t
“And when he kissed me last night, I had this crazy epiphany that it was the most important, meaningful moment of my entire life. There’s no way I can let him just walk off into the sunset and accept it as a freak incident, a hiccup in reality. For me, that
Jay watched her, a knot in his throat and his skin prickling. Finally, he dropped his gaze to the floor and stabbed the beanbag chair’s hole with his pinky, not trusting himself to speak.
“Hey.” Her voice forced him to look at her again, and she wore a sympathetic smile. “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”
He cleared his throat with a cough. “Don’t worry. You didn’t.”
In truth, he was more than uncomfortable. He was in huge fucking trouble, and he had no idea how he was going to get himself out of it.
“So tell me all about him,” Ferney said later that afternoon over her and Kimber’s lunch specials at a local southwestern restaurant.
