Singing this tune with Midnight at the wharf … I never sang it again until my daughters were born. Even then, I would always hear the African’s voice accompanying my own.
During their stay in England, I tried to steer my friendship with Maria Angelica into more intimate territories, but I was continually thwarted by the vigilance of her satanically sharp-sighted mother. Once, spotting me below her balcony, she called down to me, “Do not ever think that I should permit my daughter to be escorted by filth like you.”
I was shocked speechless. Thoroughly disheartened, I thought it best not to risk another approach until Father’s return, so that I could ask his advice on how best to proceed.
We received two letters from him during his trip. After first reading them alone, my mother shared them with me. The first one recounted some of the wonders of London, most particularly a walk through the gardens of the Royal Palace at Kensington, which, since the removal of the court to Richmond, had been opened to the public on Sundays. To Father’s great joy, his elder sister Fiona had come up from Maidenhead to London for a week to stay in the same inn as Father and Midnight and was doing very well indeed.
In the second letter, Papa wrote that they had been received at St. Thomas’s Hospital by Dr. Jenner, whom he had found kind and quick-witted. There, they were given a demonstration of the inoculation procedure. Papa was so impressed that he paid to have himself and Midnight inoculated. Dr. Jenner gave Father and Midnight an hour of his valuable time and answered all of the African’s questions amiably, though his Gloucestershire vowels caused them both some ear strain.
Father told us that he had already booked passage from Portsmouth to Porto on a ship leaving on the Fourteenth of December. Depending on the winds, we were to expect him from the morning of the Nineteenth onward.
In a separate postscript on the back of the final sheet, he wrote to me:
Midnight had also added a few sentences, letting me know that his meeting with Jenner had proved very, very fruitful, and although London was a magnificent place, it was too crowded for his liking.
I was very impressed with the way his penmanship had improved since those first weeks of study when he had insisted on adding wings, snouts, and antlers to his letters.
Unable to sleep past dawn on the Nineteenth, I played outside with Fanny and Zebra until my mother opened her shutters and threatened to throttle me if they barked one more time.
Father’s boat was sighted at approximately ten o’clock. To my great fury, Mother refused to let me miss my Friday morning lesson with my tutor, Professor Raimundo, and accompany her to the port. And so it was that I suffered another of his lectures on the glory of trigonometric functions. I could not understand what was keeping my parents, and I soon began to worry that Father and Midnight had missed their ship.
Professor Raimundo left at noon. Slipping on my woolen coat, I stepped outside into the freezing cold. I considered calling on Senhor Benjamin and asking him to come with me to the wharf, as I was convinced that something had happened. But then I saw them coming up the street, my father’s arm around Mother’s waist.
My heart leapt with relief, and I ran to them.
As I got closer, however, I could see that Mama had been crying. When I reached her, she looked up at me with eyes so bruised from pain that I feared she’d been physically battered.
“Papa, what’s happened — what’s wrong with Mama?”
“John, let me get her home. Then we shall talk.”
“Where has Midnight gone? Shall I fetch him?”
Neither of them replied. Father’s jaw was clenched tight.
“Is something wrong with him? Did he stay in England?”
Papa didn’t reply.
“What happened in England?” I cried. “Is he still there? He’s not hurt or … or — ”
“Calm down, John, please.”
I turned the handle on our door and let Papa lead Mama inside. As he escorted her to the staircase, he told me to wait in the sitting room for him. I paced around and around, consumed by terrifying thoughts.
Father came down and poured himself a brandy, then prepared a shorter glass for me.
“Drink,” he said.
“Just tell me what’s happened.”
“Do as I say, son.” Realizing that he had spoken too roughly, he added gently, “Please, John, just do as I say.”
I sipped at the brandy, which burned my throat.
“Sit,” Papa said, gesturing to Mama’s armchair.
I continued to stand. “Tell me where Midnight has gone.”
He put his glass down on the mantelpiece.
“Midnight … Midnight is dead, son. I’m sorry.”
“No, no … it’s … it’s not possible. Papa, it’s — ”
He reached for me, but I took a step back from him.
“You’re lying! Where is he?”
“Midnight is gone from us forever.”
I shook my head. “No, I shall not hear this. No … No …”
I felt dizzy, as though I were falling into pure darkness. I could no longer remember where Father and Midnight had gone or even why. Papa’s mouth was moving, but I could hear nothing….
I awoke on the Persian rug in front of our sofa with a blanket covering me. Luna Oliveira was staring at me, which seemed most odd.
“You fainted, John,” she said. “You are in your home. Your mother is upstairs.”
Graca joined her now and smiled at me. I felt as though I were in a glass jar. And then everything came flooding back. “Is Midnight dead?” I asked.
“Wait, John,” she replied, and stepped away.
From somewhere behind me, Father said he would join us presently. After a short while, he knelt down and helped me to sit up. Lifting a cup of tea to my lips, he begged me to drink. I did as he asked. It was too hot and sweet. “Is Midnight dead?” I asked again.
Father sipped from the cup himself. “I buried him myself before returning to Porto,” he said somberly. “I’m so sorry, son.”
Luna and Graca told me that they would visit me again later. After seeing them out, Papa helped me to a chair and sat down opposite me. Leaning back and inhaling deeply to gather his courage, he began the story of what had come to pass:
“Following our visit with Dr. Jenner, we decided that Midnight ought to see something of the countryside. You see, he found the hurly-burly of London so … so very disorienting. We took a carriage to a small inn in the seaside town of Swanage — a quiet place I’d visited once.”
There was a nervous, twisted expression on Father’s lips I’d never quite seen before.
“On our third and final afternoon there, the moist air began to tingle with electricity, and that evening there was a fanfare of thunder and lightning. The rains came, falling in sheets from a leaden sky so low … so very low, John, that it seemed ready to collapse upon the earth. It was a frightful sight. But Midnight was beside himself with excitement. In the morning, I discovered that he had already left to follow the rains.”
I listened to all this without comment, feeling separated from all things.
“Now, the next morn,” Father continued, “the sun came out after breakfast. At about ten o’clock, a young man in rude clothing accosted me and told me that he had been sent by his master to take me to the scene of an
