She stopped bending his hand just before his wrist snapped. Eli clamped his jaw, fighting not to cry out as she loomed over him. Forget the lava spirit, she whispered. My happiness is your only concern now.
Panting from the pain, Eli glared up at her. Every instinct he had was screaming at him to keep his mouth shut. To let it go. But he couldn’t. Not this time. Not Karon.
He leaned forward, bringing his face up to hers. “What. Did. You. Do?”
Benehime sneered down at him, and her grip on his wrist vanished. Without the support, Eli stumbled, falling at her feet. The moment he was down, she grabbed his head, forcing him to look at her.
I’ve sent him away, she said, her fingers digging into his jaw like claws. He was a bad influence, keeping you up all night with talk of disobedience. She laughed at his startled look. What? Did you really think I’d put you somewhere I couldn’t hear you? Don’t be stupid, love. I heard it all. But you needn’t worry, darling, I’m not mad at you. How could I be? You’re my everything. But I couldn’t let such talk just slide, could I? She sighed deeply. Someone had to pay, love. Someone always pays, and I could never let it be you. And anyway, I couldn’t bare seeing his filth clouding your beauty any longer.
Benehime smiled down at him and dropped her head, brushing her burning lips against his. I tore him out and tossed him down with the rest of the spirits, she murmured, nuzzling her lips back and forth over his. Now you’re beautiful again. As beautiful as the first time I saw you.
Eli wrenched his face away from hers. “You sent him out on his own?”
The Lady’s look grew cold. It’s no longer your concern where—
“Are you crazy?” Eli shouted. “He’s a lava spirit. They need constant energy. He’ll die without me. Why do you think I offered to let him live in my chest in the first—”
Benehime’s hand struck his cheek before he could finish, slamming him to the white ground at her feet.
No more of that, she hissed. I’m what matters to you, not him.
Eli reached up to rub his throbbing jaw, but his fingers had barely made it before white hands grabbed arms. The Lady lifted him like he weighed nothing, setting him back on his knees as her hands moved up to cup his face again. There, there, love, she said, stroking him, her white eyes soft again. Let’s not fight. The lava spirit’s gone, a payment for your disobedience. It’s finished, everything swept clean, so say you love me and I’ll take you somewhere nice, all right?
Eli said nothing. He just knelt there, staring at her, his body trembling like a plucked wire. He knew what he should do, of course. He should kiss her, lie to her, tell her she was his everything and then go look for Karon later once things cooled down. That would be smart; that would be best. He knew how to placate her better than anyone, after all. It was a life skill he’d honed to perfection. All he had to do was bow his head, but his neck would not budge.
Eliton? the Lady said, her voice heavy with warning.
Shaking with rage, he said the only word he had left.
“No.”
The Shepherdess’s eyes widened, but Eli didn’t care. He was so sick of this. Sick of being afraid, sick of lying, sick of her. Before he could think, he was standing up, pushing her hands away.
“How can I love you?” he cried, backing away. “You’re cruel and petty and vicious. The only reason I came back is because you threatened to destroy everything I actually loved.” He pressed his hands against his empty chest. “If you’re going to punish someone for what I said, then punish me, because those words were probably the only true things to come out of my mouth since you brought me here.”
He bared his teeth at her, letting all the fury that had been building since Osera come roaring out. “I hate you,” he said. “I would have hated you from the first moment I saw you if I hadn’t been so young and stupid. You’re not my Lady, and you never will be. I wish I’d never met you.”
His words echoed in the empty white, and for once, it was Benehime who was shocked into silence. She stood perfectly still, her eyes stretched wide, her mouth pressed into a thin, white line. It was several seconds before she could move, but when she did, she moved faster than anything Eli had ever seen. In less than a second she was on him, her weight knocking him flat. The air thickened to cement around his arms and legs, pinning them down as she straddled his chest and grabbed his neck, her shaking thumbs pressing into his windpipe like twin icepicks.
At that moment, Eli was sure Benehime was going to kill him. Just rip his head right off, or cut off his air and watch him suffocate, but she didn’t. Gradually, her shaking subsided. The rage faded from her face, leaving it tired and drawn as she glared down at him.
I don’t think you understand how this works, love, she whispered, her voice terrifyingly calm. You blame me for everything, but you made the bet, remember? Do you know how much it hurt when you tried to trick me into letting you go?
The fingers on his throat relaxed, sliding up his neck to tangle in the hair behind his ears.
I died a little that day, she whispered. But I took your bet, just like you wanted. I played along, just like you wanted me to, but did you think I wouldn’t be playing for keeps? That I wouldn’t do whatever was necessary to get you home? She leaned down, pressing her cheek against his. Do you think my love is that shallow?
Eli moved his face as far from hers as he could. “I don’t think you know what love is.”
Benehime slammed his head into the floor so hard he saw spots. I know more of love than you could ever comprehend! she screamed. I am the Shepherdess! I am the most beloved thing in the entire world! Everything loves me, must love me, and you will, too.
“Why should I?” Eli snapped. It was suicidally stupid to keep antagonizing her, but he couldn’t stop. He was so fed up with every part of this ridiculous affair, the senseless loss of Karon, the loss of all his friends, his life, everything she’d taken from him. He was going to speak his mind now even if she killed him for it. At least then he would be free.
“Why should I love you?” he said again. “What have you ever done to deserve it?”
Everything! Benehime’s voice roared in his ears. I gave you everything you have! Had I not taken notice of you, you would have died that night in the woods. It is my favor alone that makes you worthwhile. You are nothing without me!
“You’re wrong!” Eli shouted back. “I learned to be a thief on my own. I met Josef and won his friendship on my own. Same with Nico. My bounty is my own! I’m Eli Monpress, the greatest thief in the world, and I did it with their help, not yours!”
Benehime stared at him, mouth agape, and then she began to laugh. You really believe that? she said, incredulous. Do you honestly think any of those spirits would have listened to you had it not been for my mark? Are you actually egotistical enough to believe you were just so charming that the world fell over for you? She laughed harder, falling across him. How preposterous! Even when you were trying to do things on your own, I was always there. It was never you, love. It was me. It was always me.
She shook her head and tilted it sideways, her voice growing sweet and patient, like a teacher explaining numbers to a silly child. I protected your pet demonseed from the League, she said. I saved you in Mellinor. I let you make a portal to save your swordsman when you’d sworn never to use them again. I even stopped the Lord of Storms’ blade right in front of your face.
Eli flinched. “I didn’t ask you to do any of that.”
But you knew I would, Benehime scoffed. You counted on it. You took those big risks because you knew I would be there to bail you out, just like I always do. I could have called you in at any of those times, but I didn’t. The truth, darling, is that I’ve bent over backward time after time to help you. I’ve healed you, comforted you. I’ve done everything you’ve ever asked of me, and all I asked in return was your love. And yet you still have the gall, the arrogance to say you did it all on your own? The Shepherdess lifted her lip in a sneer. Get over yourself, Eliton. Everything you are is because of me.
Eli sat up as far as he could with the heavy air pinning him down. “Everything I am is in spite of you,” he said, spitting the words at her. “I never asked to be your favorite. You’ve played me and dangled me like a puppet ever since I met you, and you abused your power over the spirits to do it. I don’t love you, nothing does. The only reason the world obeys anything you say is because the spirits are afraid of you, just like I was, but not anymore.” He lay back, his face breaking into a wide smile. “I’m done being afraid of you, Benehime, and I’m done being your favorite.”
As he finished, Benehime began to tremble on top of him. When she spoke, her voice was an icy knife. You don’t get to make that decision.
