“Emotional and psychological alteration is tricky,” Dante says, and I turn to see he’s been here listening to her confession. “It takes the most talented of Tailors. Don’t do it properly and it never fully takes, but alter too much and you wind up with a void, someone who seems half human, half there. Altering a person’s psychology can have drastic effects, turning a person into a blank slate.”
Beth, the girl next door when I was a child, a variant in her own little world. The citizens of Cypress watching with apathy as I cut the ribbon on their new school. Enora blankly reciting the Guild’s plan to map me. I’ve seen it myself throughout my life in Arras, never knowing how deep the Guild’s fingers were in the minds of those around me.
“But Enora was like Valery,” I say, pointing to her. “Except more…”
“Cunning?” he asks. “It should have been a warning sign, but it’s easy enough to overlook on Earth. They couldn’t remove her memories of you entirely, not if they wanted her to find you. But if she was your friend’s lover, they removed that. Spliced what they considered to be normal feelings into her.”
“I wanted her back,” Valery says, a break in her voice. “I remember that. Enough to do anything they asked.”
“They couldn’t give her back to you. Enora slipped past their fingers,” I tell her.
“I know. I
Grief is a funny thing, I think. It can make you see things that aren’t there and ignore what’s in front of your face. Bitterness channels itself into anger and stupid backtalk and a million other destructive impulses. I knew that better than anyone.
“But why now?” Jost asks.
“Because it’s too late,” Erik says.
“No, it isn’t,” Valery says. “We can leave off the far side of the island.”
“That won’t buy us enough time,” Dante says to her. “You told us now because the alteration didn’t take. You may have hated Adelice, but emotional altering doesn’t work if a person changes her mind. Am I right in guessing you no longer harbor a grudge against her?”
“I tried. I wanted to keep hating her, because then it was easier,” she says.
Albert lifts his head and in a faint voice addresses us. “Nothing can remove free will. Our self-determination is bound to our very souls. It is the thing that defines our humanity.”
“You really want us to get away?” I ask in a low voice that only Valery can hear.
“Yes,” she says. “I’ll stay. I’ll misdirect them, but go.”
I know what they’ll do to Valery if we leave her behind, and part of me wants to go. The part that reels from her betrayal, that feels led around for months. But she’s made the same sacrifice that Enora would have made. That’s why they loved each other. I can’t blame her for being angry and lashing out. Haven’t I done the same? Haven’t I risked lives in the Coventry with my smart, unthinking mouth?
“No one gets left behind,” I say. “Jost, where’s the boat?”
“We circled the island looking for you. It’s on the northern side,” he says.
“The ship is sailing from the south, so she’s right. If we go now there might be enough time to get away,” I say. “Get it ready.”
“Ad,” Erik says in a deep voice, “there’s no way we can outrun that ship. Someone should stay behind. If you won’t let her, then I’ll do it.”
“I know you think you have debts to pay, but stop trying to prove yourself,” I snap. “I’m not letting any of you stay behind, especially not you.”
Behind us the warden’s house creaks, and a wall caves in, forcing Dante to drag Albert away from it. Dust from the plaster billows out around us.
“This is the first place they’ll come,” I say. “We shouldn’t wait here.”
Everyone scurries across the large concrete yard toward the prison, and the road that will lead us to the boat, but before I reach it, Erik’s hand grabs my wrist, stopping me.
“You have to get away, Adelice. They’re coming for you and Albert. I can’t let them take you,” he says.
“Why are you telling me this now? We can all go,” I say.
“No, we can’t,” he says. “Not if there’s a chance for you to escape. I can confuse them, lead them into the prison. We’ll play hide-and-seek. It’ll be fun.” He tries to shrug nonchalantly, to look charming and casual and carefree, but his shoulders pitch too high and there’s no sparkle in his eyes.
“I can’t let you do that,” I whisper, turning in to him.
“Yes, you can.”
“What makes you so sure?”
“Because we love each other,” he murmurs. “And we always knew this day would come.”
My lips close over his, sealing the truth of his statement. I linger in the kiss, knowing what I have to do and dreading it. His lips stay firm against mine and his hand stays clasped tight in mine. Our bodies aren’t fighting to press closer together. This kiss is gentle and full of promises that can never be fulfilled, and it leaves an ache consuming me. It’s the kiss we should have shared long ago but never made the time for, and now it’s too late. It’s more than goodbye—it’s regret.
So I kiss Erik. I kiss him goodbye. I kiss him for all the moments we will never have, and because I know I love him.
Because I know I’m leaving him.
FORTY-ONE
THE BREEZE OFF THE OCEAN GHOSTS THROUGH us. Its chill makes me shiver and Erik pulls away, rubbing my shoulders to warm me, both of us dazed enough to forget where we are for a moment.
Unfortunately, a moment is too long to waste.
“Ahh, young love,” purrs a voice. “Isn’t that sweet?”
We whirl toward the voice. Ahead of us, the others are frozen to the spot. No one tries to run. We’re all trying to figure out what the next move is.
“Not expecting us?” Kincaid asks. “We RSVP’d.”
“This is so embarrassing,” I say, twisting from Erik’s arms. “But we have a previous engagement.”
“Yes? That is a pity,” Kincaid says, snapping the fingers of his gloves and removing each in delicate order.
Approaching footsteps—many, many footsteps—draw my attention away. Even Kincaid turns, but his face doesn’t fall when he sees Cormac Patton approaching. My own sags in frustration. We’re seriously outnumbered.
“I’ve tried to help her with her manners,” Cormac’s voice calls above the wind. He crunches across the pavement, a small army in tow. “But she’s resistant to change.”
“I like that,” I say to him, pushing against the roar of my pulse in my ears. It’s been nearly two months since I faced Cormac, years for him. “I’m ‘resistant to change.’ I think that’s a compliment coming from a would-be immortal.”
“Would-be?” Cormac cocks an eyebrow. “Don’t undersell me.”
“I’ll leave that up to you,” I assure him. “And, might I say, Cormac, that you haven’t aged a day.”
Cormac’s smirk deepens. “I’m glad we don’t have secrets anymore. Now you know what I can offer you. Erik,” he says, turning his attention to him, “I guess I know why you didn’t come back. It’s impolite to go after your boss’s wife.”
“Adelice isn’t your wife,” Erik says, stepping closer to me.
“She will be,” Cormac says. “You were supposed to watch her, not help her escape.”
“What’s he talking about?” Jost demands.
“You know how adept your brother is at keeping secrets, Jost. I suppose he never told you—” Dante begins.
“I see where she gets her smart tongue from,” Cormac butts in. “Don’t look so surprised, Adelice. Valery
