He let go of me, shaking his head. “We did everything we could. I know you want to save everybody, but this is the way it is. It’s the way it has to be.”
Anger lit through me and I sat up. “How can you say that? Max wasn’t just anyone to me. He was my friend. I loved him, in my way.” I grabbed my head, feeling a bit dizzy from the sudden movement. “He only stayed with Bright because he couldn’t bear coming with me when we escaped the Community. I just always thought someday we’d have a chance to start over.”
“What you’re feeling is guilt,” Adrien said flatly. “Not love.”
I stared at him, openmouthed. “Why are you being like this?”
He leaned in, his face dark. “Because anger is what you need to be strong right now, not sadness. Anger will help you get out of this bed.”
His words surprised me, but then I realized I was sitting up for the first time in a week. And I wasn’t too tired. The buzzing thrum of my power was back, quieter and weaker than usual, but there.
“You’re right,” my voice was hard, “If I need anger, I have plenty of it. I’m furious with myself. And maybe it’s not fair, but I’m furious with you too.”
Adrien looked down. “Believe me. You couldn’t be any angrier with me than I am with myself. The whole thing was a trap. The Chancellor knew we were coming. And how else could she have known?”
I stared at him, not following.
“Because I told her.”
I let out a confused gasp, but he continued, “I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t getting any visions of this mission. It was so strange. Usually when something big like this happens, I’ll get long-term visions well beforehand. But I didn’t see anything about this mission, and I’ve realized why.”
He looked at me, anguish clear in his eyes. “It’s because I already had those visions, a long time ago. Before we escaped the Community, when the Chancellor used her compulsion on me. She made me tell her my visions and then made me forget. She must have known long ago that we would be coming on this raid. What kills me is that I must have foreseen her setting the trap for us. I gave her the blueprints for exactly what to do.” The words poured out of him in a rush. “The only reason we’re still alive is because the explosives in the second half of the building malfunctioned.”
He’d answered the question I’d screamed in rage at him during the raid. The question I could see had been giving him sleepless nights ever since.
He
He hadn’t known, but he blamed himself all the same. And I’d pushed him away, reinforcing that blame. The look on his face bored a hole straight through my chest.
“I’m sorry,” I said. I was such an idiot. I took his face in my hands, then leaned in and put my forehead against his. “I’m so sorry. Of course it’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have accused you.”
I kissed his lips, but they were hard and unyielding. After a second he relaxed into me, but then he pulled away again just as quickly. “I’ve gotta go to training.” He paused before leaving. “Will you be in classes today? Even if you don’t feel up for training, you could at least come to lunch. Everyone would really like to see you.”
I swallowed hard, but nodded. He’d pulled away so quickly. I wasn’t sure he’d quite forgiven me yet. I’d assumed the worst of him and hadn’t even given him a chance to explain. I didn’t deserve his forgiveness. But he was right. I had to get out of bed. I had to keep moving forward somehow, in spite of all that had happened.
When I walked into the Caf, talk quieted and countless pairs of eyes watched me. Some of the Rez fighters immediately looked away again, their faces hard. Others, like the younger glitchers on the other task force watched me with wide eyes. Were they impressed with what they’d heard I’d done or disappointed that I didn’t do more? I was supposed to be able to save people, but four Rez fighters and one ex-Reg had died, not to mention the Chancellor’s glitchers. One of the Rez fighters put down his spoon as I passed by and outright glared at me. Okay, so disappointment it was.
I looked down and headed toward the serving line. My legs were a little stiff, but otherwise my body felt healed. I tried to forget the eyes following my every move. I piled the colorless goop into a bowl and went to the table, sitting between Adrien and Xona. Rand was gesturing wildly when I sat down.
“—and when the weapons dropped from the ceiling, bam, I unleashed the Rand on them before they could get a single round off.”
Xona sat across from him and rubbed her temple. “It’s been a week already. Is there any way we’ll stop hearing this story by next century?”
“Wait,” I said, “I actually want to hear it. I never heard everything that happened with your group.”
Rand grinned and settled back in his chair. “So we get into the open chamber at the end of the hall, and all of a sudden none of us can hear anything. That’s when I saw the weapons dropping.”
He lifted his hands up dramatically like he was reenacting the moment. “And a millisecond later, I’m on it. I’ve been working on melting stuff without touching it, but usually it’s just things within a few feet of me. These weapons were over ten feet high, but I knew if I didn’t take them out, we’d all die.”
City turned from the other table and looked at Rand. “Oh please. If you hadn’t been there I could have easily electrified them.”
Rand made a face and waved a hand dismissively. “I didn’t see you taking care of it.”
She stood and put her hands on her hips. “Probably because I was busy with the other attackers rushing in. Which I didn’t see you doing anything about.”
“How many were there?” I asked.
“Five came through the door at us.” City dropped down to sit beside Rand. “I don’t know if they were all glitchers, some of them had weapons. They got a couple of shots off before I dropped them. And they only managed that because there was this glitcher who could inflict pain.”
Rand nodded, looking almost solemn. “It was like a spike straight through my head. All of us were on the ground. I was screaming but couldn’t even hear my own voice ‘cause of the whole silence thing.”
“So what happened?”
City smiled and pointed her forefinger. “I fried him.”
“You killed him?” Ginni choked on the mouthful she’d taken.
“Of course I did. He was attacking us.”
“It’s too bad, though. The General was disappointed we didn’t capture him alive,” Rand said. “But we do have the orb girl. City’s electricity wasn’t anything against her.”
“I can’t believe they brought her back with us,” City said.
“You’re just bent out of shape because you couldn’t take her out,” Rand said.
“Well, maybe I’ll get another chance.” City glowered. “Either way, she’s not rooming with me, that’s for shuntin’ sure.”
“She’s here?” I asked, stunned. “She’s staying in the dorms?”
“Don’t look at me,” Rand said. “Adrien’s the one who had a vision that she needed to be saved.”
I looked over at Adrien. His eyes had widened.
“You told them your visions?” I felt a pang of hurt. After everything he’d said about it not being safe to share his visions—
“Nah, Taylor gave it away,” Rand said. “City was giving Taylor attitude about bringing the girl back, and Taylor’s all like,” Rand stiffened his back, imitating the General, “‘retrieving the girl was one of the mission objectives.’ City figured it out later.”
“Is that true?” I turned to Adrien. I knew he’d told some of his visions to Taylor, but I’d assumed that after the wounded Rez fighters had been brought back he’d stopped sharing them.
He shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“So where is she now, anyway?” Rand asked casually. “I got a look at her in the Med Center when I was passing by, and she’s kinda cute.”
“Really?” City asked, her fists clenched. “You have to hit on every girl in the building, even our enemies?”
Rand grinned rudely at her.
Ginni piped up. “First of all, she has a name. Saminsa. She’s been staying in the Med Center. Doc kept her sedated so she wouldn’t attack again, and they’re explaining to her how the Chancellor’s evil and we’re the good
