Adrien laughed. “It does take a little while to get used to. But hurry, take a bite of the beef before it cools down too much.”
I did as he said, and immediately closed my eyes to focus on the flavor. The beef seemed to melt on my tongue, it was so tender and juicy. I’d never had anything like it in my entire life. When Adrien said Community rations, I thought he meant the hard bread and protein patties I’d eaten every morning of my life, not this. A low groan escaped my throat.
I looked back up at him. He hadn’t even taken a bite yet. He was just watching me. I blushed slightly and ducked my head.
We ate quietly for several minutes, both of us enjoying the sumptuous flavors.
“Remember how you used to explain emotion words to me?” I asked after I’d finished the last of the meat.
He nodded.
“I’ve been experiencing emotion for long enough now that I think I understand most of them, but every now and then another one will surprise me.”
He smiled. “Like what?”
“Like this right now.” I put my hand to my chest. “I feel warm and happy, but that doesn’t quite seem to describe it. It’s something more than that. What do you call it?”
Adrien’s face turned thoughtful, his eyebrows drawn together. He took a drink of champagne before answering. “I think,” he said tentatively, “I think it’s contentment. Where you have everything you ever wanted, all together in one place. It’s quieter than excitement, but,” he swallowed, “maybe it’s better.”
“Contentment,” I said, trying the word out on my tongue.
“I haven’t had a lot of it in my life,” he said. “It’s new to me, too.”
“When was the last time you felt this content?”
His face darkened and he shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. My past isn’t me.” His tone sounded strangely resolute. “All that matters is who I am now. Who I am when I’m with you.”
I stood up and walked over to him, not hesitating before I leaned over and swooped in to kiss him. I could feel his surprise, but he quickly opened his soft lips to mine, his hands gently cupping my face.
I dropped into his lap, feeling pleasure bloom inside me. He slid his hands down my jaw and pulled me tighter. Something inside me began to soar, and my power buzzed to life. Instead of releasing it uncontrollably, it hummed inside my chest, sparking down my spine like electricity. Every inch of me felt alive and wild.
Reluctantly, I released his lips, and looked around. Even though we were alone, anyone could walk in. I pulled his hand to stand up and follow me. “Come on,” I whispered.
Since we were already in the training room, we didn’t have far to go to the equipment closet. We didn’t touch as we walked across the room, but I felt the anticipation building. I pushed the button to open the door and tugged him over to the corner, grabbing a training mat from a shelf as I went. I tossed the mat on the ground in the corner. As soon as the door closed behind us, I pulled my top off over my head, then turned to him.
I didn’t say anything more, just grabbed the bottom edge of his shirt, lingering for a moment to touch the skin at his waist. Then I stood up on my tiptoes to pull it over his head.
Adrien stared at me, his warm blue-green eyes full of heat, though the corner of his lips turned down with a touch of uncertainty.
“Zoe, wait—” he started saying, but I shook my head. He lifted his arms up to help me take his shirt off in spite of his protests. I paused, breathless and excited. His chest was lean and tanned, and taut with tension. He looked wiry but strong. I traced my finger down along his collar bone, down the small dipping line in the middle of his chest, then down his stomach to his navel. A shudder rippled though his body at my touch.
He wrapped one arm around my waist, burying his other hand in my hair. He cupped the back of my head and looked in my eyes. “You drive me crazy. All I want to do is make everything around us stop so I can just be with you. But I don’t know if it’s right…”
I knew the look on his face. It was one I’d seen more and more lately. It was like he was fighting something deep inside himself. I held my breath, hoping that just this once he could forget about destiny and the future and everything else. His eyes were so bright. He closed them briefly, and then he grabbed the waistband of my skirt and pulled me close, crushing me to him, his mouth hot and passionate.
The sudden release was overwhelming. It lit me up and I opened my mouth to his searching tongue. He was gentle one moment, then rough and needy, then pulling away so that his lips barely nipped mine in a way that made me crazy. I’d chase his lips back with mine, and suddenly he’d stop and kiss me so deeply again it seemed to sear straight down to my stomach.
I gasped at the intensity of it. We’d kissed before, but it had been nothing like this.
He pushed me up against the wall, his hand sliding down my hip. A soft moan escaped my lips.
“Shh, we have to be quiet,” he laughed into my ear, before kissing down my neck. He slid one bra strap to the side and kept kissing down my shoulder. I trembled.
Slowly, he led me to the mat on the ground, pulling me down beside him. I was all heat and sensation, deepened by the hum of my power tingling just beneath my skin. He nudged me over as one knee swung over mine, and then he hovered above me, before dipping down and sucking on my neck until I felt like I was going to erupt and light us both on fire.
He paused for a moment, and even though the alcove was shadowed, I could still see the glint of his eyes reflecting some bits of light from the main room.
I put my hand on the back of his neck and pulled him nearer, so eager to close the final space between us. “I love you, Adrien. Adrien, Adrien.” I said it languorously, delighted by the feeling that stirred within me at just the sound of his name.
He stiffened in my arms. I smiled and tried to pull him closer, but he didn’t budge.
“Adrien?” My voice was small in the dark room. I couldn’t see his face to tell whether he’d seen another vision, or if the weight of the world had suddenly secured itself back on his shoulders.
He swore under his breath, jumping back to his feet. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”
I sat up, all the wonderful feelings dissipating as if cold water had been thrown on me. I covered up my chest awkwardly. “But what—”
“I’m sorry,” he said, still not looking at me. “I’ve gotta go.”
“Wait!” I scrambled up.
But he’d already left. Just like that. The door slid shut behind him and I sat, pained and bewildered, clutching my top to my chest.
Chapter 22
THE NEXT MORNING Adrien wasn’t at training. Rand mentioned he’d gone to spend the morning at the security hub. That was just fine with me. I didn’t know if I could face him. I felt embarrassed and confused, but, more than anything, I felt angry. I was getting tired of being shut out. A relationship was supposed to work both ways.
When I walked into the Gifted training class, he was already there, sitting on a mat with his eyes closed. My anger roared to life. I sat down on the mat farthest away from him and glared, hoping he could feel the fury pulsing off me in invisible waves.
He looked miserable. There were dark circles under his closed eyes. His strong broad chest rose and fell softly with each breath, and his hands rested open on his knees. The aching hurt rose up all over again. In spite of myself, I felt my heart stretch in my chest for him. But he’d rejected me without even a word of explanation. I couldn’t let go of the hurt yet.
I settled into a spot on the floor and tried to still the squirming thoughts in my head. I could only manage a few moments of focus at a time.
The door opened suddenly. General Taylor stormed in with the ex-Regs and a half-squadron of Rez fighters behind her. I stared at her in confusion.
“What’s going on?” City asked. We all stood up.