It was like these people expected daimons to pop out from under their beds.
But studying the decor wasn’t the whole point of me sitting on the bed like a Buddha knock-off. Ever since Seth’s appearance after Lea’s death, he had been oddly quiet. As if he was gone, actually. The cord was still there, but his unmistakable presence was absent. Like before I’d Awakened, when my head and body had been my own.
Closing my eyes, I concentrated on the cord. It was there, humming softly and barely discernible.
But there was no Seth.
I screwed my face up in concentration. This wacky long-distance internal phone call crap should be able to work both ways. Maybe I was crazy to be the one initiating contact, but a quiet Seth made for a really nervous Alex. It wasn’t like him. He was up to something. He had to be.
The door to the living area opened, and Aiden came in carrying a plate of fruit and roasted turkey slices. “I bring gifts in the form of food—what are you doing?”
“Nothing.” I flushed as I patted the spot beside me. “I’m starving. Thank you.” And I was also surprised that he was bringing me food.
Aiden sat beside me, placing the plate between us. He smelled of clean soap and spice. Moving a few slices out of the way, he found a thick piece of dark meat.
“Aiden—”
“Eat first.”
I frowned at him, but he held the turkey way too close and my mouth watered. Taking it from him, we spent the next several minutes gorging on the meat and fruit. As I chased a ripe strawberry across the bowl, he leaned over and tucked a damp strand of hair back behind my ear. I looked up and our eyes locked. All the air fled my lungs. Aiden was probably ready to throttle me, but that look in his silvery eyes…wow, simply wow.
Aiden leaned back, observing me, studying the blush I knew was spreading like a fever across my cheeks. “Before this goes any further, what you did with the automatons was nothing short of amazing. I haven’t had a chance to tell you, but I wanted you to know.”
I blinked. “Really?”
“Yes. That kind of power—it was epic and graceful. It was pretty amazing.”
My gaze fell to the empty plate. “If I hadn’t worn myself out, I could’ve saved Lea.”
His fingers found my chin, tipping it up. “Don’t blame yourself for what happened to her. Her death was not your fault. And if you hadn’t used your power, all of us would’ve died.”
I nodded. Those words weren’t as easy to swallow as they were to say.
“Done?” Aiden gestured at the plate and bowl. He placed them on the table when I nodded again. There was a stretch of silence where he just looked at me until I squirmed. He sighed. “How could you not tell me, Alex?”
“I didn’t want you to worry,” I said lamely.
His eyes narrowed. “That’s bullshit, Alex.”
I jumped, eyes going wide.
“We’re in this… this screwed-up situation together, right? Both of us would do anything for each other, am I correct?” He didn’t give me a chance to answer. He was really on a roll. “We love each other. And call me stupid or old-fashioned, but I think all of that means we don’t keep secrets from one another, especially potentially dangerous secrets that the other party really should know about.”
My cheeks were burning for a whole different reason now. Everything he said was true. Keeping him in the dark had sprouted from the best of intentions, but he was right.
“I’m sorry and I mean it. I should’ve told you when I figured it out.”
His brows lowered. “When did you figure it out? Wait. While we were in the Underworld, right? You were different when we came back.”
Damn. He was good. “It was when I was talking with Solaris. Things sort of clicked, and then I confronted Apollo. He confirmed that the gods wanted me to become the God Killer so that I could stop the god responsible.”
Aiden cursed under his breath. “Sometimes I want to hit that bastard.”
“Join the club.”
He was silent for a couple of moments. “They expect you to fight Seth and have the power transferred to you. Then they expect you to fight this god?”
I nodded.
“I don’t like this—I don’t want you to do this.” Anger burned in his gaze. “This is too dangerous—every part of it. Besides the fact that Seth could transfer the power from you, no god is going to go down easy. It’s insane.”
It was, but when had anything in my life been completely sane? I wiggled closer to him. “But it has to be done, Aiden. Even if we manage to stop Lucian and Seth, this god will try something again. Look at all the people who have died.”
“I don’t—” He cut himself off.
“You don’t what?”
He looked up, features rigid. “I was going to say that I don’t care. Not when you could die doing this. I don’t care.”
I had no idea what to say to that, and I knew that it took a lot for Aiden to admit that. Hell, it would take a lot for anyone to admit that. But it was the truth, and sometimes the truth wasn’t pretty or ethical or fair. It just was.
Aiden tipped his head back and sighed. “What if I asked you not to do this?”
My mouth opened in surprise, but no words came out.
He shook his head. “I know I can’t ask you that. I know it’s incredibly selfish. Don’t answer it, okay?”
Tears moved up the back of my throat so quickly I didn’t think I’d be able to hold them back. By some miracle I did. I knew I needed to tell him that there was a good chance I wouldn’t survive this in the end. It wasn’t like I was giving up, because Deacon had sort of given me the kick in the rear that I needed, but it didn’t change the possibility.
Aiden made a sound in the back of his throat and he reached for me. I went, climbing into his lap. As his arms circled me, squeezing me so tight against him that I could feel his heartbeat, I couldn’t tell him that now. I didn’t think I could ever tell him.
And that was the thing about truths and secrets. Sometimes the truth didn’t need to be known. The lie was healthier than the truth and, while some secrets could set people free, other secrets could destroy them.
I didn’t feel good about it as I closed my eyes. Guilt settled in my stomach like a handful of sharp stones, but this secret wasn’t meant to be shared.
Finally, Aiden’s grip loosened and his hands moved from my shoulders. He held me back, his gaze searching my face. “Have you been having any headaches recently?”
Grateful for the change in topic, I shook my head. “Not since… Lea died. Seth was there afterward, but he’s gone. I mean, I can still feel the cord, but it’s weird. It’s like he’s taken a vacation.”
Aiden arched a brow. “He’s up to something.”
A small grin pulled my lips. “Exactly what I was thinking.”
“Great minds think alike.” With one hand, he smoothed his thumb over my lower lip. “You have to be exhausted.”
I shrugged. “So do you.”
“We should get some rest.” His hand fell back to my shoulder.
“Marcus isn’t going to be happy with you sleeping in here.”
“I know.” He leaned back against the headboard, his eyes hooded. “We’re probably going to have to cut the whole sleeping together thing back.”
I pouted.
Aiden chuckled. “I said sleeping together, Alex. What I have in mind doesn’t involve sleeping.”
