back. “This isn’t a dream.”
Letting out a stuttered breath, I took another sip. There was so much I wanted to say. Many times since she’d died, I’d fantasized about seeing her again and had created this massive list of things I wanted to say to her, starting off with a whole slew of apologies for sneaking out, cussing, fighting, and being a general round-the-clock nuisance. And then I’d move on to how great of a mom she’d been. Now, it was funny and strange. When I opened my mouth, emotion choked out that list, erasing it completely. The words I spoke were, “I miss you so much.”
“I miss you too, but I am with you as much as I can be.” She watched me drink the healing nectar. “I want you to promise me something.”
“Anything,” I said, and I meant it.
A small smile appeared. “No matter what happens, and no matter what you have to do, I want you to absolve yourself of guilt.”
I stared at her. “I—”
“No, Lexie. You need to let the guilt go, and you need to let what Ares did go.”
Lowering the glass, I looked away and gave a little shake of my head. Let go of how badly Ares had broken me, how I had begged for death? Impossible. “Did you… did you see it?”
“No.” She placed her hand on mine and squeezed. “But Apollo told me.”
The laugh that came out of me sounded incredibly bitter. “Of course he did. And where was Apollo when I was getting my ass handed to me, by the way?”
A pained look crossed her face, and I immediately regretted saying that. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “He was probably off doing important god stuff.” Or chasing nymphs.
“It’s okay.” Her hand swept across my cheek, and I was surprised to find that my face no longer ached. “Apollo is very concerned about you. So am I.”
“I’m okay.” The lie rang false in my own ears.
She tilted her head to the side and sighed. “I didn’t want this life for you. I wanted to spare you this darkness.”
“I know.” Looking at her, I soaked in her features. Gods, my mom was beautiful. It was more than good godly DNA. It was what was inside that bled through—her goodness, love, and everything I aspired to be. In my eyes, she shone. And her life had ended way too early. She deserved so much more, and I wished I could give that to her. But I couldn’t, so I gave her the only thing that I could.
“I promise,” I told her. “I promise to let it go.”
Her lips curved up at the corners. “I want to kill Ares for what he did to you.”
I choked on my drink. I don’t think I’d ever heard my mom say she wanted to kill anyone, except after she’d turned into a daimon. Then, she’d wanted to kill everyone. A different kind of ache filled my chest. Not wanting to think about that, I swatted those thoughts away.
Smothering a yawn that came out of nowhere, I finished what was left of the sweet drink. Mom took the cup from me and stood, replacing it on the table. By the time she’d turned around, I was lying flat on my back.
“Damn,” I murmured. “That stuff… it’s strong.”
Hurrying to the bedside, she sat beside me. “It is. I wish we had more time, baby.”
“Can’t we?” I tried to lift my arm, but it felt cemented down. Panic clawed at my chest. I wasn’t ready to let her go. It wasn’t fair. I
With a smile that wrenched at my chest, she cupped my cheek. “There’ll be time later.”
“But I’m not ready. I don’t want to leave you. Please…” Strange. I forgot what I was saying. Apparently I’d drunk the ADD nectar.
As my lids became too heavy to keep open, I heard her say, “I’m so proud of you, Lexie. Always remember that I’m proud of you and that I love you.” There was a pause and then her sweet voice said, seconds before I slipped away, “Don’t give up hope, baby. Paradise is waiting for you in the end.”
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
It takes a village to write a book—thank you to the awesome team at Spencer Hill Press: Kate Kaynak, Rich Storrs, Marie Romero, Traci Inzitari, Anna Masrud, and Rebecca Mancini. Without you guys, Alex would just be a sparkle in my eyes. Thank you to Kevan Lyon for being the best agent.
A big thank you to my friends and family for putting up with my crazy writing deadlines, which means I pretty much don’t do anything other than write. Thank you to Cindy Husher and Stacey Morgan for talking me off the writing ledge many times over. To Molly McAdams for giving me an awesome sauce blurb and a huge thanks to my beta/crit team for telling me it sucks… when it sucks.
None of this would be possible without the readers. Thank you for reading and enjoying the Covenant Series. I know a lot of authors say this, but I have the best readers ever. You guys rock.
Photo by Vania Stoyanova
Jennifer L. Armentrout lives in West Virginia. All the rumors you’ve heard about her state aren’t true. Well, mostly. When she’s not hard at work writing, she spends her time reading, working out, watching zombie movies, and pretending to write. She shares her home with her husband, his K-9 partner named Diesel, and her hyper Jack Russell Loki. Her dreams of becoming an author started in algebra class, where she spent her time writing short stories… therefore explaining her dismal grades in math. Jennifer writes Adult and Young Adult Urban Fantasy and Romance.
Come find out more at: www.jenniferarmentrout.com
Praise for
“Whereas
“My TOP BOOK OF 2012. This is the best Covenant book so far.”
—The Book Goddess
“5 stars: a must read. I’ve never had a book I felt more like giving more than 5 stars to than this book!… The ending will absolutely shake you to your core!”
—Valerie, Stuck in Books
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—YA Sisterhood
“A great blend of action, drama, and romance…
—The Reading Geek
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—Sydnee Thompson, Dreams in Tandem
