Sentinel

I couldn’t allow myself to think anything else. When Deimos and Phobos had been inside me, it was all I could think about. We would fail. I would die. Those I loved would die. Now that their influence was gone, I felt like myself again. Things weren’t all rainbows and puppy tails. I could still lose people, and after I discovered there was a good chance the Olympians would take out my rosey-red behind after fighting Ares, there had been moments when I wanted to find a corner to rock in.

But I was a born fighter, and I would fight. That’s who I was at the core.

Alone in my room, I stripped out of my clothes and kidnapped another one of Aiden’s shirts to sleep in. The soft, well-worn cotton slipped over my head and ended at the thigh. I wasn’t sure if he was truly okay with me hijacking his clothes, but he wasn’t there and I simply liked his shirts.

Dragging myself to the bed, I tucked my legs under the covers and rolled onto my side, facing the door. The last I’d seen of Aiden, he’d left with Marcus to go over the newest developments with Solos and the crew. As exhausted as I was, I had bowed out of the third meeting with the Army of Awesome. There was just too much going on in my head to face everyone.

Lying there, waiting for Aiden to return, I told myself again that we were actually planning to release a Titan. Crazy pants right there. Obviously, I’d never met a Titan, and a part of me was excited by the prospect of coming face-to-face with such a legendary being.

A freaking Titan.

I gave a sleepy snort.

My eyelids grew heavier as the minutes ticked by. I didn’t want to fall asleep, because there was so much I needed to talk with Aiden about, but I was sinking through the bed. After Deimos and Phobos had been yanked out of me, the emotional storm that had followed had been a cleansing of sorts, but it had also tuckered me out.

I realized then that I hadn’t thanked Seth.

That was the last thing I remembered thinking before I felt something warm and slightly rough graze my cheek. Stirring restlessly, I forced my eyes open.

“Aiden,” I whispered.

A slight smile appeared on his full lips. His hand stilled on my cheek. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I was waiting for you.”

“You need to sleep, but I…” His thumb smoothed on my cheek again. “I couldn’t stop myself from touching you.”

A wealth of warmth blossomed in my chest at those words, and then spread when I realized that Aiden was under the covers and he was shirtless. Maybe even pantsless. “I’m not complaining.”

In the soft light from the nightstand, his eyes were a luminous silver. “How are you feeling?”

Wiggling closer, I bit back a sigh as his hand slid around the nape of my neck. “I feel…I feel good. I mean, hurling up those gods changed things. That was crazy, right?”

His lashes swept his cheeks and then lifted. The intensity in his gaze was consuming. “It isn’t something you see every day.”

My lips tipped up at the corners. “It’s a relief to know that a lot of what I was feeling wasn’t coming from me.”

“I have to agree.” His knee rose under the covers, and soft flannel brushed my bare legs. Damn. He did have pants on. “Want to talk?”

What I really wanted to do was cross the scant distance between our mouths, but I did need to talk to him. There had been so much I’d held back while the gods had been squatting in my head, and there was so much Aiden needed to know, so I told him everything from how I’d felt when I fought Ares to what it was like the moment all those violent emotions rose to the surface.

When I was done, he smoothed his hand over my cheek. His hand had stayed on me the whole time. “Do you feel that way now—the way you felt with Ares?”

I met his gaze as I placed my hand against his warm chest. “I think there will still be moments when it… well, when it sucks, but I don’t want to die. I’m glad I didn’t.” I laughed, a little embarrassed. “I don’t feel that way anymore.”

“Good.” Aiden inched his head over and kissed me so softly, like he was being cautious, and then pulled back. He slipped his hand off my cheek, placing it over where mine rested against his chest. “It killed me, Alex, when I heard you admit that to Seth. All I wanted to do was go in there and hold you, figure out some way to make it better.”

“I’m okay now.” I turned my hand over and threaded my fingers through his. “But I’m still scared.”

“That’s normal.”

“I know. And I know it’s okay to be scared.”

He squeezed my hand. “Damn. I should record that statement.”

I laughed, and it was a real sound. It was good. “I never thanked Seth, and I need to, Aiden. He helped me calm down. He didn’t try to manipulate me. If it hadn’t been for him, I would’ve brought that building down.”

His eyes latched onto mine. “About Seth…”

Swallowing heavily, I prepared myself. “I can’t blame the gods for that. I knew what I was doing when I went to see Seth. I should’ve woken you and told you where I was going. That was my fault.”

“He was right,” he said, as if he hadn’t heard me.

I blinked. “What?”

“The little bastard was right.” He let out a heavy sigh. “I was jealous when I found you with him. I was jealous afterward. I am still jealous.”

“I—”

“I heard what you said,” he stated quietly, not looking away. “I heard you say that you loved him.”

My eyes widened and my stomach dropped as a horrible feeling opened up in my chest. How had I forgotten that he’d overheard me saying that too? For a moment, I didn’t know what to say. Awkward didn’t even cover it. “I did say that, but it’s not the same—”

“Same way you feel about me.” His eyes shut briefly. “I know. I honestly know it’s not, but hearing that…? I wanted to punch him. I still do for various reasons, but mostly because I know that there will always be a part of you that does love him. That you two will have this connection for the rest of our lives, and that’s something I can never compete with.”

An ache opened up in my chest, and I closed the distance between us, practically crawling onto him. “I’m sorry.”

His brows rose as he rolled onto his back, wrapping an arm around my waist. “For what, Alex? I should say I’m sorry. I was a dick to you because of my stupid jealousy. You shouldn’t have to apologize.”

“But you shouldn’t have to deal with a freaky Apollyon connection.” I peered down at him. “What normal couples have to deal with that?”

“We deal with a lot of things normal couples don’t deal with,” he replied dryly.

“I know! That’s why I’m sorry you have to deal with…with Seth and me on top of everything else. If it was me, and you were connected to someone, I’d probably stab her in the eyeball every time I saw her.”

Aiden’s lips quirked up lazily. “Really?”

“It’s not funny.” I smacked his chest lightly. “I would. I wouldn’t be able to deal with it, so I totally get your jealousy. I just don’t want you to feel that way, because I love you. I’m in love with you. Forever and ever, and all the corny things I can attach to that.”

He chuckled deeply, and the sound brought a smile to my face. “I know you do. And I have to work on not hating him for this. I have to remember that there are other reasons to want to kill Seth.”

I laughed, and he rewarded me with another tender kiss that curled my toes. It didn’t go any further than that. He guided my head down to where his heart beat steadily in his chest. I wanted to take that kiss further, but the moment my cheek hit his skin, I found my head too heavy to lift.

Aiden told me how the rest of the group had taken the news about releasing Perses. He also had explained to them that Apollo had checked Seth out, and the First could be trusted…as far as anyone could really trust Seth. Then he explained to them about the evil god twins, and for that I was eternally grateful. That was the last thing I wanted to explain all over again.

I didn’t take long for me to drift back off to sleep as Aiden talked, not with the rise and fall of his chest luring