Sentinel

tomorrow. “If it were you asking me to not be with you, I wouldn’t want to listen to you.”

He let out a dry laugh. “You wouldn’t listen to me, Alex. You’d go against me, and you’d find a way to be there with me.”

“I would.” I cracked a grin. “I would do it even knowing that you’d be distracted by me, because I’m selfish like that. You’re not.”

“I can be incredibly selfish.” His gaze settled on me once more, and he placed the tips of his fingers on either side of my cheeks. “I’ve been nothing but selfish with you.”

Confused, I frowned. “How?”

“I was selfish in wanting you, knowing what it could mean for you. I was selfish the first time I kissed you, touched you.” The shiver his words brought forth didn’t go unnoticed by him. A dimple appeared. “I was selfish the night I came to your bed when you were at my parents’ house, and I’ve been selfish every day since then. The only time I hadn’t been selfish was when I pushed you away, and that’s the day I regret most.”

My stomach fluttered like there was a jackrabbit inside it. “Aiden…”

“You’re going to be separated from me tomorrow, and it’s going to take everything in me to let you face Ares without me standing by your side, so I’m going to be very selfish right now.” His finger trailed over my cheek and across my parted lips. “Because it’s the only way I can be unselfish tomorrow.”

Aiden’s lips replaced his fingers then, and the kiss wasn’t slow or gentle. It was fierce, consuming, and tasted of soul-burning yearning and desperation. Our clothing came off with a quickness that was rather impressive, and our bodies melded together on the thick blankets. Behind every touch and every kiss there was the knowledge that neither of us wanted to put forth into words. So we used our mouths, our hands, and our bodies to say what both of us were too terrified to speak.

This could be our last time together.

CHAPTER 23

A cool, calm breeze lessened the effect of the strong afternoon sun beating down on us as we stood at the edge of the forest surrounding the Covenant. The sky was a bright, vibrant blue with only a few pillow-like clouds floating in the sky.

It was a beautiful day for a war.

Covenant daggers were strapped to my hips, and a Glock loaded with titanium bullets was holstered on my thigh. With my hair pulled back in a tight bun and my skin tingling with the marks of the Apollyon, I felt pretty badass.

Standing on either side of me were the silent forms of Aiden and Seth. Behind us, Perses and our AOA were ready. Deacon was staying behind, and after what’d happened with Olivia, I wished he’d remained at the University.

I hadn’t seen my father among the faces, and I don’t even know why I was looking for him. I knew he’d gone back. I hoped he’d made it back, but I still looked.

“Warriors know no fear, show no fear.” Perses’ deep voice boomed, upping the adrenaline in my system. “Many of you will fall today.”

My brows rose. That’s a motivational statement.

“But you will fall as warriors—the only true, honorable death.”

He continued on, and I zoned him out. Motivational war speeches about dying honorably in battle weren’t my thing. How about a speech where we were all awesomely alive at the end? I could get behind that. Besides, we had a helluva hike ahead of us, and I was using that time to clear my thoughts of everything that’d happened in the last couple of weeks. There was so much clogging up my head—Olivia, my dad, Aiden, and Seth, and where in the hell was Apollo, and so much more. I needed to be focused.

All these moments were leading up to the here and now, and by the time the sun rose the next day, blood would cover the ground like a crimson river. Blood of our own. Blood of our enemies. And blood of those who’d been manipulated onto the wrong side.

Twigs crunched and snapped under our boots as we crested the second hill. There was one more, and then we would be staring down at the walls. We had the high ground, but they would see us the moment we came down.

“Remember the plan,” Perses said, stalking up behind me.

I nodded, because my vocal cords had frozen. The plan had been set into motion before we even left South Dakota, and I had had plenty of time to come to terms with it, but I hadn’t.

At the last hill, Perses, Seth, and I would split from our group, leaving Aiden, Solos, and Luke behind with the army. Cannon fodder. No one said that. Instead, Perses had said they would be the distraction needed for us to get inside, but I knew that was what they were. The walls were protected by the automatons, and they would be picking off our guys in bulk. And then, when they made it through the entry gate, there was the mortal army… and gods knew what else.

And where the hell was Apollo?

The Sentinels who’d been inside the Covenant had given us the way in that we needed. The back eastern wall was exposed, a way in and out. There’d be guards, but nothing like what would be seen at the front. I knew in my heart of hearts that Aiden and Luke and Solos would make it. They had to. But the sharp tang of fear was in the back of my mouth.

Alex?

Seth’s voice inside my head almost caused me to stumble. What?

You’re having a lot of feelings right now.

My gaze narrowed on his back as he moved ahead of Aiden and me. And you’re not?

You’re afraid, was his simple, two-word response. I contemplated pushing him down the rocky slope but figured I didn’t need him bruised already.

There was a pause. Being afraid isn’t the problem, Angel.

Stop calling me that.

He ignored me. Use that fear. Glancing over his shoulder at me, he winked. Aiden cursed under his breath, and Seth smirked. Use anger. Don’t let either of them consume you.

Yes, sensei.

Seth snorted.

“I hate when you two do that,” Aiden muttered.

“Sorry?”

He sent me a long look, but there was no anger in his steely gray eyes. Both of us hadn’t been smart about last night. We might have gotten a few hours of sleep, spending those precious hours before and after committing each other to memory…and in ways that brought a blush to my cheeks in spite of the cool wind caressing them.

Neither of us wanted to admit that we both feared last night would be the final time we were together. I couldn’t let myself focus on that, but it was a reality that couldn’t be ignored.

We passed the nondescript outer fence and then quickly reached the last hill at dusk. I glanced over my shoulder, my gaze roaming over the assembled throng. All of them were ready. It was time to do this, to end this. Everything came down to this battle, and not just for us, but for the unknowing mortals, too. If we failed, the mortal realm would fall to Ares, and then Olympus would be next on his to-conquer list. The Sentinels and Guards behind us knew this, too. This whole situation was bigger than each and every one of us.

“It is time,” Perses said. Excitement practically rolled off the Titan.

Seth nodded and turned to me. Part of me wanted to delay this moment, but this was one of those times when I had to pull on my big-girl pants. What I wanted to do and what I needed to do were two very different things.

I swore in that moment this would be the last time I’d ever have to make a choice between want and need.