want to be like those statues in the museum, but I was. My thoughts worked the same. My actions did, too. I’d tried everything except believing I wasn’t a freak of nature.
Because it wasn’t that I didn’t have a soul. I mean, there were minutes when I truly wondered—when I thought about what’d happened when I’d died and how I’d felt afterwards—but I didn’t want to hurt anyone. What’d happened to Dustin had been an accident. I hadn’t wanted to hurt him. I never wanted to hurt anyone—not really. I’d had moments when I’d entertained the idea, deep down, times when I’d felt threatened, but I didn’t want people to be afraid of me.
It was more than that.
I didn’t believe I was gifted, but maybe I was. Maybe my gift worked differently than the rest—like something had to trigger it to become active. That something had been dying. Who knows, maybe I would’ve come back anyway, even without Olivia. Dying could’ve been a part of the great plan or something.
“Okay, now I sound crazy,” I muttered, running my fingers over the rim of the pot. “Like I walked into a cheesy sci-fi movie, but it’s something. I think. I guess.”
I dragged the pot into my lap. Earlier, I’d changed into linen shorts and a long-sleeved shirt. Both were thin enough to sleep in, if I ever decided to go to bed. It was well into the early morning hours.
Everyone else had gone to bed hours ago…
And my brain was rambling again.
I made a face at the plant and sank my fingers into the rich, soft soil. Well-hydrated—Liz took good care of the plants here. I’d come to believe her other gift was a green thumb, because all of the plants grew so beautifully.
Until I killed them, that is.
“So I have a gift. A gift—not a curse—and the gift is the fingers of death, right?” I asked myself, feeling stupid when I waited for an answer. “Think about how badass that would be if I could control it.”
I stopped there. Thinking about that inevitably led to what could happen if I could control it.
Touching, holding hands, kissing… Hayden.
Not the most helpful train of thought.
I focused for hours on telling myself I did have a gift before I finally felt confident. Only then did I pull my dirt-stained fingers out and took a deep breath.
Now or never. I focused on the plant. It was dark green, and on the tall, slender stems there were marks much like the skin on a snake. It had become my favorite of all plants, because it looked so weird.
I took a deep breath and tried to speak in my most confident tone. “I have a gift.”
Slowly, I brushed my fingers over one smooth stem, then jerked my hand back and waited.
A few seconds went by, then maybe a minute. Then five, and holy crap, nothing happened.
I started to stand, but my legs gave out. “No,” I whispered, clutching the pot until it chafed my skin.
My heart sped up until a faint buzzing filled in my ears. This could’ve been a fluke. There was only one way to find out.
I needed to touch it again.
Calming down took a few minutes, but when my heart did beat somewhat normally, I touched the plant again. It moved under my fingers. It didn’t die. Not for ten minutes or twenty.
Around the twenty-five minute mark, I think I started crying. My cheeks were wet so, unless it’d rained inside, I guessed they were tears.
I
Jumping to my feet, I rushed across the room and yanked on the door with my good arm. In my excitement, I forgot I had locked it. My fingers were shaking so badly it took me a few tries to open it, but once I did, I raced down the hallway and prayed Hayden hadn’t locked his door.
His room was three down from mine, and I stopped in front of his door. What if he didn’t care? I’d be crushed. I turned the knob and it gave way. Breathing a sigh of relief, I eased it open and let my eyes adjust to the darkness.
I could barely make him out sprawled across the bed, but he was there. Remembering his last reaction when I woke him unexpectedly, I resisted the urge to pounce on him. I felt along the wall until I found the switch and flipped it. Bright light flooded the room. It didn’t faze Hayden, but it stole my breath. I stood there, unable to tear my eyes away from him.
The blanket twisted around his narrow hips, one muscled arm thrown over his head, and he was naked. Okay, at least from the navel up.
Wake up.”
His arm dropped from his face and blinked several times. Slowly he eased himself up on his elbows, squinting.
“Good.” I swallowed and tried to smile. “You’re awake.”
Hayden frowned.
“You have to get up! I need you—” He threw the blanket aside, revealing that, in fact, he wasn’t completely naked. He wore flannel pajama bottoms. “What is it?” He came to his feet. “Are you okay?”
“I…” I could only stare. My memories of how he looked shirtless hadn’t been burned in my mind like I had thought. I had missed little details—the line running down his stomach, the muscles that popped near his hips.
“Ember, are you all right?”
“Yeah.” I closed my eyes and turned around. “I have to show you something.”
“Show me something? Ember, it’s almost morning. Can’t it wait?”
His lack of interest stung, but I persisted. “No. Just come on. Then you can go back to bed. Okay?”
Hayden muttered something as he grabbed a shirt off the floor and tugged it over his head. Silently, he followed me back to my bedroom. I shut the door behind us and led him to the other side of the bed.
“You wanted to show me your bedroom floor?”
I exhaled slowly. “No. I wanted to show you this.” Without looking at him, I sat down and pulled the plant into my lap. “You ready?”
“Yeah,” he said quietly, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Ember, why are there a bunch of dead…”
Realization dawned across his expression, and in that pause, he looked sad—disappointed. Not what I expected.
“Hayden?”
“I haven’t been working with you,” he said.
“I know, but—”
“You’ve kept up on it.”
“Well, not until recently.”
“Em, I’m sorry. I’ve let my own problems—my own mixed-up feelings—get in the way.”
I stared at him, growing impatient. “Hayden, it’s okay. All is forgiven, but can you just look—”
“It’s not okay.” He dropped his arms over his bent knees. “You’ve been at this all alone and why?
Because of… well, whatever.”
“Hayden.” I leaned forward and wrapped my hand around the closest thing I could reach—his calf.
He stiffened, but didn’t move, although I think his body gave off more heat than normal. “It’s not your responsibility to fix me. I’m not your science fair project. You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“Em, I don’t think of you as an experiment. I don’t think of you like that at all.”
I wondered how he did think of me. “Okay, fine. But can you just watch me for a second? I have something I want to show you.”
Hayden nodded.
I let go of his leg and closed my eyes. Concentrating with him in the room proved harder than I’d thought. When I felt sure I had that “I have control” mantra on repeat, I cupped the slender stem and ran my hand up it.
Hayden’s startled gasp caused my eyes to flutter open. The snakelike plant remained whole and healthy.
