I rose through the levels of consciousness slowly, gradually becoming aware of the sounds and scents that surrounded me.
They were not pleasant scents. Not to the sensitive nose of a wolf, anyway. Antiseptic mingled with the smells of the dying and the diseased, creating a veil of misery and pain that permeated not only the air but the very foundations of the building. The minute I became aware of them, they became a weight that pressed down on my chest and made it difficult to breathe.
I was in a goddamn hospital. God, I had to get out of here, had to move—
A hand caught mine. Warm, familiar, feminine hands. Ilianna, not Azriel.
“It’s okay,” she said softly. “You’re okay, Risa.”
“No, I’m not.” My voice cracked, and my throat felt raw. I opened my eyes. Ilianna smiled, but there was little disguising the worry in her expression. Not out of the woods yet, obviously. “I’m in a goddamn hospital, so how the hell can I be okay?”
“You’re alive, and that’s pretty amazing considering all you’ve been through.”
She poured a glass ofh, rum water, then offered it to me, straw first. I tried to lift my head, but it suddenly seemed heavier than a thousand bricks. She tilted the cup a little more, and managed to get some moisture down my throat.
I closed my eyes for a moment, then asked, “Where’s everyone else?”
“Tao and I have been taking turns sitting by your side. He headed to the cafe about twenty minutes ago.”
I frowned. Even that hurt. “How long have I been out?”
“Five days—longer than Rhoan, in fact.”
Relief hit, so thick and fast tears stung my closed eyelids. “He’s alive?”
It was an inane question—if he was awake he was obviously alive—but I still wanted her to say the words.
“Not only alive, but home. He got the all clear yesterday.”
“Thank god.”
“Yeah. Riley had Quinn stationed in here so she could get constant updates on your condition while she was beside Rhoan.”
I glanced past her, for the first time seeing Uncle Quinn sitting in the corner. His warm smile crinkled the corners of his dark eyes. “Riley says to hurry up and get well, because she intends on knocking both your and Rhoan’s thick heads together.”
I laughed, which hurt, but at that particular moment I didn’t really care. I was alive, Rhoan was alive, and Taylor was dead.
“Now that I have seen for myself that you are awake, I shall leave.” He pushed to his feet. “I’m afraid I need to eat.”
I half smiled. “I’m sure there would have been more than a couple of nurses willing to offer their services.”
“Ah, but there is only one neck I desire.” He walked over to the bed and dropped a kiss on my forehead. “Do not lapse back into a coma. Riley would be most displeased.”
If he thought I was in any danger of lapsing, he wouldn’t be leaving. “Give her a kiss for me.”
“I will.”
He left, and my gaze returned to Ilianna. “So why was I out so long? Even if I’d lost a lot of blood, I shouldn’t have been out for five days.”
“It was the poison.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Poison? What poison?”
“From the hounds that attacked you on the astral plane,” Azriel replied, and suddenly appeared on the other side of the bed.
I very much suspected he’d been there the entire time, though I hadn’t actually sensed him. But there was more than one reaper in this place, so maybe I was suffering some sort of temporary sensory overload.
My gaze met his. Anger and relief vied for dominance in the turbulent depths of his blue eyes. “But they weren’t real. They were just a product of Taylor’s imag—”
“No, they weren’t,” he cut in.”t real. Th “And because these particular beasts were little more than plague bearers, the wounds became poisoned.”
“I wouldn’t have thought the hospital would have known how to cope with that sort of poisoning.”
“They didn’t,” Ilianna said. “Kiandra did.”
“She was here?” Holy shit!
“And I didn’t even have to call her.” Ilianna wrinkled her nose. “She didn’t have an easy time of pinning down the particular branch of poison, though. It really was touch and go for a while there.”
“Meaning Taylor was close to winning anyway.”
“But he didn’t.” Ilianna rose suddenly from the bed. “And on that cheery note, I’m off to the canteen to grab a bite to eat. Don’t do anything daft while I’m gone.”
“Damn,” I muttered, “there goes my idea of line dancing down the hall with all the other reapers.”
She laughed, collected her purse, then headed out into the hall.
“That,” I said, amusement teasing my lips, “was a very obvious exit. Your doing?”
“Yes.” He sat down on the bed and caught my hand in his, entwining our fingers. Heat pressed into my skin, and warmed far more than it should have. “I’m sorry.”
I frowned. “What for? It’s not like you could have done anything to help me on the astral plane.”
“No, but if I had not been so foolishly stubborn, I could have done something once your astral being had returned to flesh.”
I stared at him, confused. “But what? It’s not like you can heal me anymore.”
“Ah, but that’s not entirely the truth.”
I closed my eyes for a moment. Though I wasn’t really surprised that he hadn’t been honest with me—even with something as simple as that—it still hurt. I thought we’d at least gotten past the lies—
“I did not entirely lie,” he interrupted. “I currently cannot fully heal you. Not against major wounds or the infection the hounds caused.”
“Then what—”
“I cannot heal because I no longer have the energy.”
I blinked. “What?”
“I need to recharge,” he said softly. “I have gone a long time without doing so, and it is beginning to show.”
“But you and I made love,” I said, my confusion growing. “Couldn’t you have recharged then?”
“I could have, but I didn’t.” His fingers tightened around mine. Pain rippled, but I didn’t say anything. He could have crushed my hand and I don’t think I would have said anything. My gaze—and my attention—was on his face. A face that did not reveal his emotions, even though the turbulent force of them ran like quicksilver through my being. “I erroneously believed it was better for the mission a thtubbond us both that I hold myself apart, and not take what I needed.”
“But why?” I hesitated, then said, “It increases the risk of assimilation, doesn’t it?”
“Yes. And at the time, I feared that more than I feared not being able to heal you.”
“And now?” I asked, my gaze searching his, seeking an admission, wanting to hear that he cared even though it was obvious that he did. More than he should, more than was wise.
“And now,” he said softly, “I know there is a fate far worse than remaining a dark angel for time eternal.”
Tears stung my eyes. While it was an admission I’d ached to hear, it was nevertheless a dangerous one for us both. We both had dreams of a future once this quest was ended, and what now lay acknowledged between us was as dangerous to those dreams as the quest itself.
“So where does that leave us?” I asked.
“I don’t know. The only thing I do know is that I could not ever relive the horror of the last five days. Fighting to protect your body while you were battling for your life on the astral plane was bad enough, but being able to do little more than watch you weaken from wounds I should have been able to heal . . .” He paused and took a deep
