“Sometimes it gets too much for me. Trying to follow what people say, trying to remember what I’m supposed to do so people will think I’m normal. Sometimes the rules are too hard. So I go.”
Beth traced his muscular arm with her fingernail. “Where do you go?”
“Most times to the wilds around Kilmorgan. It’s a vast place, and I can lose myself for a long time. You’ll like it there.”
She ignored this. “What about other times?”
“Courtesans’ houses. As long as I pay, they leave me be. I don’t have to think of conversation there.”
Beth had grown used to Ian’s bluntness, but that didn’t mean she wanted to hear about his being with other women. She imagined that courtesans were happy to give Ian sanctuary whenever he wanted it. He was rich, had the body of a god, and possessed devastating charm, especially when he smiled. Even his sideways look gave him a roguish quality. If she were a courtesan, she’d give Ian a special rate.
“Anywhere else?”
“Sometimes I take a train to a place I’ve never been or hire a horse and ride into the countryside. To find somewhere I can be alone.”
“Your family must go wild with worry.”
Ian propped himself on his arm and drew his finger between Beth’s breasts. “They did at first. Hart never wanted to let me out of his sight.”
“But he eventually did, obviously.”
“He used to be furious when I went. Threatened to have me locked up again.”
Beth’s anger stirred. “His Grace the duke sounds a great bully.”
One corner of his mouth turned up. “He realized I was going, no matter what. Curry took my side. Told Hart to fuck himself.”
Beth’s eyes widened. “And Curry is still alive?”
“As you see.”
“Good for Curry.”
“Hart worries, that’s all.”
Beth frowned. “He let you out of the asylum and got your commission of lunacy reversed. Why, so you could help him win at high finance?”
“I don’t much care why he did it. I only care that he did.” Beth grew suddenly angry with Hart. “It’s not fair. He shouldn’t use you so.”
“I don’t mind.”
“But—“
Ian put his fingers on her lips. “I’m not a servant. I help when I can but take something for myself.”
“Like when you disappear for days at a time.” “Hart could have let me rot in that asylum. I’d be there now if not for him. I don’t mind reading his treaties and moving around his stocks if that’s what it takes to pay him back.”
Beth twined her fingers through his. “I suppose I can be grateful to him for letting you out, at least.”
Ian stroked the backs of her fingers, not listening. His warmth covered her like a blanket, and his breath burned as he kissed the line of her hair. “Tell me about your husband,” he murmured.
“Thomas?”
“You loved him desperately. What was that like?” Beth lay quietly, remembering. “When he died, I thought I would die, too.”
“You hadn’t known him very long.”
“That didn’t matter. When you love, especially with all your heart, it comes upon you so fast, you don’t have time to resist.”
“And then he died,” Ian said. “And you can never love that deeply again.”
“I don’t know.”
She answered her own question when Ian suddenly gave her a bruising, punishing kiss. Her tension dissolved and she gladly slipped her arms around him, holding him close. Ian made it evident he didn’t want to talk anymore. He shoved her legs apart with a strong hand and pushed his way inside her again, no argument.
Mrs. Barrington would say that only a very loose woman would let a man have his way with her without protest. Beth rocked back on the pillows and spread her thighs, happily violating Mrs. Barrington’s strictures in every way. Beth slept again. When she woke, the window was a dim gray square. Ian stood to one side of it, looking out. Rain still beat down, but the thunder had abated. Ian was naked, and he rested one hand on the wall, his glorious backside half turned to her.
In the gloomy light that played on his powerful muscles, he reminded Beth of the perfect male sculptures she’d seen in the Louvre. But those sculptures had been marble and alabaster; Ian was like living bronze.
When she stirred, Ian put a finger to his lips. “Is someone out there?” she whispered in alarm. They were on the second floor in the front of the pension, the nicest room, the landlord had assured them. But the windows had no curtains, and Beth felt queasily exposed. “Inspector Fellows is watching the house,” Ian said.
“He’s brought along some police.”
Beth pulled the covers to her chin. “Oh, dear, how embarrassing.”
“I think it’s worse than that.”
“How can it be worse? They can’t arrest us for spending the night in a pension, can they? Goodness, if lewd behavior is illegal, they’ll have to arrest half of Paris.”
The newspapers would get hold of it. They always did somehow, and the story would leak across the Channel to
A soft knock on the door made her sit up straight. “It’s me, guv,” came a Cockney voice from the other side. Curry. Beth heaved a sigh of relief.
Ian didn’t bother to cover himself as he let Curry into the room. Curry didn’t pay any attention to lan’s state of nudity, and laid the garments he’d brought with him over the back of a chair. He calmly unfastened a leather bag and took out a razor, shaving cup, and brush.
“Any hot water to be had in this benighted place, guv?” “Ring for the maid. Did you bring Mrs. Ackerley’s things?”
“That I did.” Curry kept his gaze on Ian, pretending he didn’t see Beth cowering in the bed. “Her companion wanted to come, but I convinced her it wouldn’t be prudent.” Ian only nodded. He pulled on the drawers Curry held out to him, hiding his lovely anatomy, and sat down to be shaved. He might be at the luxurious Langham Hotel in London, rising after a night of leisure.
Beth realized with a jolt that Curry had done this before. He seemed comfortable with the routine of slipping in the back way to bring Ian fresh linens and shave him after he’d spent the night with a woman.
Beth hugged her knees.
“Did they see you?” Ian asked Curry.
Curry answered as he stropped the razor. “No, I came up the back alley to the kitchen. The staff are all keeping mum. They don’t want the police in any more than we do.”
“This is too absurd,” Beth said. “Why is Fellows persecuting you like this? And me?”
“It’s his way,” Ian answered.
Not much of an answer, but Ian closed his mouth and leaned his head back as Curry finished sharpening the razor. The maid of the night before slipped quietly into the room bearing a ewer of steaming water, and Curry told her in broken French that she should dress Beth. The girl curtsied, and while Ian and Curry faced the other way,- the maid laced Beth into the clothes Curry had fetched from Isabella’s.
The maid’s face glowed with excitement. “He must be very rich, madame,” she breathed.
Beth didn’t correct her assumption that Ian was her protector. Last night Beth had been amused that the landlord and servants had supposed her lan’s kept woman, though it didn’t seem as funny now.
“I suppose we shall have to flee out the back way as well,” she said to Ian. “Mr. Fellows is getting to be an absolute bother.”
